Symmetry
by alligirl785
Summary: There are similarities to the past and now. History always repeats itself, whether we realize it or not and breaking the circle is always the most difficult part of it all. Song-Fic. Future Fic. Complete.
1. Everything Has Its Beginning and Its End

**Title:** Symmetry 1: Everything Has It's Beginning… And It's End

**Pairings/Characters:** Lianne/Jake, Lianne/Keith, Jake/Celeste _(eventually: Logan/Lilly, Duncan/Veronica, Logan/Veronica)_

**Summary:** There are similarities to the past and now. History always repeats itself, whether we realize it or not and breaking the circle is always the most difficult part of it all.

**Spoilers/Warnings:** Everything to 3.17 (Debasement Tapes), especially Season 1

Pre-Series

Song-fic

**Disclaimer:** None of it's mine, and if it was it would all be going different right now. So don't sue, because I have nothing and it'd be a waste of both our time. The Song it _Clean Getaway_ by Maria Taylor. I was listening to the song when the idea struck me so… blame it on my over-sentimentality.

**A/N **There's not really any dialog in this chapter. It's mostly just background stuff…

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**Symmetry**

**1**

**Everything Has It's Beginning…**

**And It's End **

_I made my place by the door_

_I didn't know what I was waiting for_

_It felt just like home_

_Except no grass, no yard, no pictures hung_

She slid into a booth close to the door of the small café on campus. Looking around she found this one had the most light. It also seemed to be the least popular seat due to it's unfortunately breezy location. Which was fine for her, she'd be hunched over the paper too much for it to blow away and what's more, she'd rather no one have any view what so ever of what she was writing.

She settled into her seat more comfortably, took a moment to get accustomed to slightly dimmer lighting of the shop. She looked around, stretching her neck around, trying to look like she was stretching when really she was checking out her surroundings. Making sure that there wasn't a single person she knew here today. This was an important thing, an important letter. A letter that she would forever think of as 'life defining', a decision that she had made and was now following through on. If only she had the courage to do it in person, to say the things to the face of the man she loved. The man she left behind to another woman.

She supposed that their on and off relationship all through high school should have been the first clue. The fact that he had finally moved past her and onto someone else their senior year should have been the second. She honestly wished that she hadn't started their last fight before their last year of high school, that she hadn't pushed him so far. But she didn't think that it was going to be the one time he took her firmly stated _"we're over"_ as a fact instead of a silly little suggestion. They had never broken up for more than a couple days before. But when she had stepped into the school that first time afterwards—the first day of her senior year, the year to end all years—she knew something was wrong. She hadn't seen him in over a week and it worried her.

She ordered a coffee and a plate of fries when the waitress came over. The waitress was a cliché. Red hair and too much make-up. Called her honey and smacked on some chewing gum while she scribbled down the order. Lianne hated and adored her for her simplicity. The woman was able to step into the role of Waitress #1 with ease the way she was trying to step into College Student and failing.

_I could see across to the park_

_And there were friends_

_They were laughing hard_

_They looked just like my own_

_With no face, no name, no voice I know_

High school was still so fresh in her mind. _Jake _was still so fresh in her mind. She missed her old friends. She missed her old life, the perfect one where she was the queen of high school and dated the king. She missed sitting in class with Patty and talking about everyone. Patty had always been a good confidante, kept every secret she ever gave her and never uttered a word to anyone. She missed that. Adrianna was a good friend, an easy friends since she didn't know all the tawdry details of her overly dramatic relationship with Jake Kane. But the girl couldn't keep a secret to save her life, which made their friendship a bit of a problem. Lianne had a lot of secrets.

More than Patty she longed for Debbie. Debbie had been her best friend until she had opened her mouth and informed the entire school that little Mary Mooney got knocked up by the vice principal. The argument they had had over nearly ended their friendship altogether but the pretended to get over it. It wasn't until that hellacious discipline hearing where she had to take it all back that they fell apart completely. She sacrificed her friendship for Mary because she really shouldn't have told anyway. Then she had walked up to the doorstep with her when she left the baby on his doorstep. And she had held her while she cried after she found out that the very same baby she left to her father had been found in the bathroom during prom.

_I finally made it,_

_I made a clean getaway._

_I finally made it,_

_I made a clean getaway._

Lianne pulled out her yellow legal pad and the pink tinted stationary. A rough draft wouldn't hurt and she'd rather not waste so much of her favorite stationary. The letter had to be perfect, couldn't be anything less than.

She had thought that she had left this all behind four years ago when she had left for college. 1980 was supposed to be the end of the Jake and Lianne drama, but here she was again. She was about to graduate from college and she was still focused solely on Jake and their issues. Why hadn't she let go of him yet? She thought she had, once upon a time. But when her mother had sent her that announcement in the paper. The one that shattered all the dreams she didn't realize she still had.

_Jake Kane and Celeste Conothan: Engaged_

What was her mother thinking anyway? Why would she want to see that? She had to read the announcement several times before the news began to really sink in. Then there was the dumbest decision she had ever made in her life. She called _his_ mother. She had assured her that she just wanted to congratulate him, after all, she was still his friend. _Friend? Like they had spoken to each other in the four years since high school._

Jake had seemed shocked to hear from her, as was expected. But wasn't expected was his offer. That he would leave Celeste and marry her if she were to come back to him. He seemed a little desperate and lost over the phone when he told her that he still loved her and that he was sorry for senior year. That he would take it back if he could. That he would never have dated Celeste—let alone sleep with her. That if he hadn't they wouldn't have broken up after she had insisted she was pregnant. Jake and Lianne prom king and queen, together forever. Just like in all the fairy tales.

_I met someone at the bar,_

_He had a great smile and a great heart._

_It felt just like love,_

_Except no fear of losing and it wasn't tough_

Lianne had hung up shortly after. She said that she hadn't expected him to say these things, she needed some time to thing. He agreed but urged her to be quick, the wedding wasn't too far off and he needed an answer before hand.

Things were serious with Keith. She was pretty sure that he was in love with her, and she was pretty sure she might be in love with him. It felt just like love, and it was easy. Love shouldn't be as hard as Jake made it. With him it was all hurt and heartbreak. He had given up on her before. He had left and slept with someone else when she had always been loyal to him. Loyalty. Look where that loyalty had gotten her. Broken hearted and forgotten more than once. Pushed aside for icy Celeste who seemed to be the proper girlfriend and never showed any emotion. The one that had manipulated and schemed to get her way. The one that had finally won, whether Jake wanted to admit it or not.

_I finally made it,_

_I made a clean getaway._

_I finally made it,_

_I made a clean getaway._

Lianne finally put her pen to her paper, her stationary. There wouldn't be a rough draft. If she had to write it more than once she might change her mind, lose her nerve.

_Dear Jake,_

_I'm sorry. I truly am. I never should have called after I saw the announcement. It was an impulsive move that I wish I could take back._

_You and Celeste should be together. I saw the picture of you two from the paper, you look happy. If I thought that we could work in the long run I would say yes and run away with you. I would marry you and we could live that happily ever after that always seems out of reach. But I can't. It's too hard, we're too hard._

_Sometimes love can't be enough. It isn't enough. Not when so many people will be hurt in the process and not when it isn't guaranteed to work out after they're hurt. I've met someone and I think I may be able to be happy with him._

_Be happy, and I'll love you always. Goodbye._

Lianne read over it once more and resisted the urge to tear it in pieces. She folded it and tucked into an envelope she had neatly addressed. Holding back tears she licked and pressed down the seal before turning it over.

The waitress came to refill her coffee for a third time and take away the empty plate. She asked if Lianne was okay. If she wanted to talk about it. She replied that she was fine and she didn't need to talk, trying to wipe away the fallen tears as she said it.

She sat there with the letter clutched in her hands, staring at it, for nearly twenty minutes. She stood and left the café, leaving money on the table with a pretty good sized tip. She decided that she had liked the waitress after all, her concern had seemed real.

The walk to mailbox was short in distance, but seemed so much longer in her mind. As she pressed the stamp to the corner she gripped the letter tighter. Poised to rip. But she stopped herself and slipped it into the slot before she could really change her mind.

_And I miss you,_

_I miss you ever single day._

**A/N** So what do you think? It's my first piece of fiction so…


	2. Leave My Heart Behind

**Pairings/Characters:** Lianne/Jake, Lianne/Keith, Jake/Celeste _(eventually: Logan/Lilly, Duncan/Veronica, Logan/Veronica)_

**Summary:** There are similarities to the past and now. History always repeats itself, whether we realize it or not and breaking the circle is always the most difficult part of it all.

**Spoilers/Warnings:** Everything to 3.17 (Debasement Tapes), especially Season 1

Pre-Series

Song Fic

**Disclaimer:** None of it's mine, and if it was it would all be going different right now. So don't sue, because I have nothing and it'd be a waste of both our time. The Song is _Say Goodnight, Not Goodbye_ by Beth Neilsen Chapman.

b A/N: /b There's dialog in this chapter, but it's closer to the middle

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Symmetry

2

Leave My Heart Behind

_Say goodnight, not goodbye_

_You will never leave my heart behind_

_Like the path of a star_

_I'll be anywhere you are_

Lianne got the folded up announcement from the paper shortly after her own mother had sent hers. There was a short note, him claiming he'd always love her and be there for her. That in his heart, he was still waiting. She simply tucked it into the shoebox she kept in the closet containing the engagement clipping and several others. Sometimes she went through the box and looked at the pictures of them gazing adoringly at each other in high school. So young and so in love that they she was shocked they weren't together now. Other times she looked at the pictures and remembered how naïve they had been, thinking that they would be together forever. Like they were some kind of fairytale. Once and a while she would cry for him, for herself, for the love and life they could have had. Because they were a fairytale. Today she just placed the new addition to her box of memories and replaced it in the closet.

Keith had never seen the box. He knew nothing of Jake Kane and their high school romance. Some days she resented him a little for that. He didn't know that she had been broken by someone's lack of faith in their relationship. That she had been left behind in the story, forgotten. Other days she loved the fact that he hadn't known her then. When every girl in school wanted to be her and every guys wanted to date her. When she had been humiliated to find out that her boyfriend of two and half years might have gotten a girl pregnant during a short summer break up. Then devastated that she had allowed herself to be manipulated into losing him when six months later it turned out to be a lie. Her history was unknown and he couldn't pass judgment on it.

Still she longed for Jake. Even as she accepted the gold ring with the small round cut diamond Keith had presented to her while down on one knee. They had been in the park on one of his few days off when he had done it. And she couldn't help but think that the café she had written her last letter to Jake was right across the street. That Jake would've known she preferred silver to gold and oval to round. But Keith's bright smile and happy laugh when she said _"yes"_ made her stomach plummet and her heart tighten. She loved Keith, it just wasn't the same as when she had loved Jake. She had once read that you could never love two people the same way. Maybe it was true. Keith was a safe kind of love, one that she felt that she might be able to relax into someday. She may not be able to be herself fully around him but that could simply be because she hadn't known him forever. Or because she was growing up, becoming who she was supposed to be, someone else.

It was her own fault. She had forced herself to be more of what she thought he expected at first and that was a hard pattern to break.

_In the spark that lies beneath the coals_

_In the secret place inside your soul_

_Keep my light in your eyes_

_Say goodnight, not goodbye_

She had sent Jake a clipping of her own wedding announcement, but had waited months to do so. She didn't include a note, though. A year later she found that she was still waiting for a reply. The realization came while packing up the Fresno apartment. Keith had a couple more days of work before the move and had left her to finish the packing. She nearly forgot to forward their mail and only remembered when she took out her 'Jake Box'. It had reminded her of the clipping she had sent him and that she never got a reply about it. It panicked her a little that if he came for her she wouldn't be here. That if he sent for her she'd never get the letter. That's when she knew.

Lianne Mars was a horrible wife. Still in love with a man she hadn't heard from in over a year, and hadn't seen in nearly five.

She forced herself to throw away the box then. She would not pack it up with her husband's things and bring it to their first real home. It would never enter the house that they had found on their trip up there seven months ago. Her mother was sick and had been placed in an assisted living complex. It didn't seem like it would be long before she passed and it made Lianne realize that she hadn't spent nearly enough time with her. Keith was tired of the Fresno police force and all the _"bullshit"_ as he put it. _"More crooked cops than straight ones"_ was his constant complaint and he couldn't help but jump at the chance of a new location. She had told him some stories of Neptune, and it was probably her fault for making it sound more ideal than it really was.

A week after she packed all their things and threw away her dreams Lianne pulled to a stop in front of their new house. Neptune. Home. A unexplainable rush went through her and suddenly she felt giddy about it again. Something about this place always sent a chill down her spine, shocks through her fingers. She could never decided if she liked it or not. But she knew one thing. She like the dangerous feel of it.

_Don't you fear when you dream_

_Waking up is never what it seems_

_Like a jewel, buried deep_

_Like a promise meant to keep_

She had been in a store when caught a glimpse of Celeste, looking positively annoyed with the saleswoman. She had to do a double-take to be certain that it was the same pointy-face peaking over the top of a clothing rack. She wasn't really a fan of Celeste, not now and definitely not then. But it wasn't until Lianne had rounded said clothing rack that she truly hated her. With a large protruding stomach it was hard to deny that she and Jake were expecting a baby.

Lianne halted in her tracks and made a quick exit even as she felt Celeste's glare hit her back. She had gone in there for a reason, looking for a dress for her mother's funeral and now she would have to wait. She didn't exactly have a lot of time, but there was no way she was going to make small talk with Celeste. Not while she'd rather kill herself with one of the ice daggers _that woman_ would certainly be throwing at her with her eyes. Celeste had already seen her, been alerted to her presence in Neptune and that would be enough.

Then another realization hit her. If Celeste was here, so was Jake. Even if they didn't live here, there was no way that Jake would let his heavily pregnant wife travel on her own. Lianne tried to calculate how far along Celeste must be. It had to be at least six or seven months, but really there was no real way of knowing unless she spoke to either her or Jake. And there was no way in hell she was going to submit herself to a conversation with that woman. She quickly found a phonebook beneath a broken payphone and looked him up. He was living in the 90909 district now and she wondered briefly what he had made his millions on. Didn't matter, she decided as she ripped the page out and rushed to her car. She sped out of the mall parking lot and briefly thought that she might get pulled over before realizing that if she was it would be her husband doing it.

Slamming through her front door she dialed the number on the sheet of paper she held in her shaking hands. He answered on the fourth ring, sounding out of breath and tense. His voice relaxed when he heard hers, offering condolences for her mother's death. Instead of an awkward and stilted conversation over the phone she opted for one face to face. They made an arrangement to meet for coffee and catch up, two days after her mother's funeral. Three days from now. Sunday. She smiled as she placed the phone back in its cradle, and grinned as she got back in her car and drove to the mall. She sang along with the radio in the car and hummed along to it inside the stores. It wasn't until she spotted the black dresses that she started to mourn again. A silver lining. That's what Celeste's presence had been today.

Then funeral had been quiet. She had cried and Keith had held her hand tightly before she had pulled it away. Keith wasn't who she needed right now, he hadn't known her mother. He didn't understand that now, in the middle of October, all Lianne could think of was the fact that in a month she'd be having her first Thanksgiving without her mother. And soon after that her first Christmas without her as well. That there wasn't going to be anyone to call and complain to if her dinner hadn't turned out. He simply helped her into the bedroom after everyone had left and tucked her into bed, kissing her on the forehead.

He said nothing when she left to go shopping early the next morning. Didn't protest when she hadn't made it home in time to make dinner, simply muttered about picking up some Chinese food. When she insisted that it was okay for him to work the next afternoon he simply thought she needed time to herself. He kissed cheek goodbye as he patted her hair, reminding her that if she needed him to call the station. She nodded and sent him on his way, returning to her bedroom to change into the new outfit she had bought.

Jake must have been nervous, because she arrived fifteen minutes early to find him waiting for her already. So much for her prep time. He stood to greet her, enveloping her in a tight hug before she could protest. She squeezed back and the embrace went on a bit longer than they both obviously intended for it to go.

_You are everything you want to be_

_So just let your heart reach out to me_

_I'll be right by your side_

_Say goodnight, not goodbye_

She settled herself into the chair across from Jake's even though she really wanted to sit next to him, up close.

"How are you?" Jake asked, his eyes flitting nervously over her. Her hair was still just as golden blonde as it had ever been, the hair he had practically worshipped as a teenager. Her eyes still deep and dark, giving away all her emotions. She still hadn't looked him in the eye though.

"Right now I'm doing better. It's good to see you Jake." She paused. "You don't know how good." Her eyes darted up to meet his for a moment before glancing away. A second later they were back to his and held.

"It's good to see you too." He replied, his voice thankfully not catching on the lump in his throat. He made the first move. His hand snaking out to cover hers on the table, his breath catching when she didn't pull it away.

Lianne looked down at his hand covering hers, settled between her water glass and the edge. it looked older and tan in comparison to the paler tone of her own skin. She smiled a little at the warmth before looking back up.

"I've missed you." He hadn't meant for it to slip out, especially not this early in the conversation. But it was out there and he was unable to take it back. The startled look on her face almost made him wish he could reach out and catch the words, shove them back in. But the combination of hope and joy in her eyes urged him to continue. "So much."

"I've missed you too, every single day." Lianne's voice was barely above a whisper and her focus had moved back to their hands. She pulled back a little and felt his grip tighten a little before it loosened again. Instead of pulling away completely she threaded her fingers through his until their palms were pressed together. His hand tightened again, but this time not in the fear of losing contact.

"Come on," Jake whispered, sliding out of his chair and pulling her from hers. They stood there for a moment, staring at each other, hand entwined awkwardly between them. He let go of her for a moment before changing his grip and it's angle, then tugged her towards the door. They hadn't even ordered the coffee they had come to drink.

Sliding into the passenger side of his car she watched him hurry to the driver's side door. In the seconds it took him to get there reality began to sink in. What she was doing. What she was about to do. She wasn't stupid, she knew where they were going and what they were going to do there. But his door opened and he slid in beside her, smiling and clutching at her hand.

The trip to the hotel was silent but not awkward as she would've thought. She'd always wondered how people got themselves into affairs. What sequence of events had to take place to get them alone together and in bed. After this she'd never have to wonder. She'd never doubt the phrase _"it just happened"_ again. Because these things apparently do _"just happen"_. After all, she hadn't planned on doing this when she went to see him. She figured that he would be a comfort her husband failed to be.

Oh god, her _husband_. And his _wife_. Keith would be devastated by this if he ever found out. Celeste would throw a fit. She would probably scream and throw things, breaking vases and picture frames like the cliché wife. Lianne supposed she should feel guilty about this, but she didn't. This was the way she should have been.

"That letter broke my heart you know." Jake said, staring straight ahead. They had parked in front of the Neptune Grand a few minutes ago, but neither had made a move to exit the car.

"It broke mine too." Lianne replied, moving her focus from the dash to his profile. She bit her bottom lip as she waited for him to turn to her. When he finally did she had tears running down her face.

"I love you," he whispered as he cupped her face, rubbing the tears away with his thumbs. Leaning forward he chastely pressed his lips against hers for the first time in almost seven years. He pulled away from her to stare into her eyes. "Never stopped."

"Me either." It wasn't a whisper this time, and her eyes flitted away from his and too the front of the hotel.

"I'll go in, and get us a room. You wait in the car and we'll drive around to the side." Jake made the move to leave before she grabbed his sleeve. His plan was too risky, the two of them walking up there together. She'd been gone for over half the decade but she still had friends here and so did he. They'd be recognized and people would know.

"How about you come out to get your briefcase after you get the room. I'll stay in the car until you come out, you tell me the room number. I'll got to the bar and then meet you up there in about 15 minutes?" Lianne suggested, her heart thudding at how quickly the plan had come to her, how easy this was for her.

He nodded his agreement, looking in the backseat to make sure he had actually had a briefcase. Sliding out of the car his hand slowly detached from hers, her hand dropping to the center console as contact was lost and his door slammed shut.

"I need a room, just for the night." He said, walking up to the desk, pulling out his wallet. He probably should have cash for this, a credit card was traceable. It would show up on the statement and Celeste would wonder what he had been doing there. Especially so soon after her tantrum that Lianne was back in town. She'd know something was up. She'd been angry with him for a good 72 hours now, complaining how Lianne would never be out of their lives. Throwing that damn letter in his face again, the way she had been since she found it. Her name hadn't been signed at the bottom, but Celeste had known it was from Lianne when she pulled it from his nightstand drawer.

A key was slid across the counter to him, shiny and silver, with the number 412 engraved on the top. Sentimentality washed over him and he tried to find a way it could be significant to them, a tie to their past. The only thing he could come up with is if you added all the numbers together you'd get seven, the number of years they'd been apart.

Jake was back at the car, opening the rear door and saying the room number clearly so she wouldn't mistake it for another room. Shutting the door just as quickly he tossed the keys to the valet and disappeared through the glass doors of the hotel.

Lianne slid out of the car and made her way to the hotel bar. She ordered a glass of wine, Chardonnay. She sipped on it while staring at the clock, she'd go up in a few minutes and officially be an adulterer. Or she could use the house phone to call up and tell Jake that she couldn't.

She slid off the stool, leaving her glass behind, and made her way to the elevators. No going back, not now, not ever. She was in this and it had been too long since she touched him.

One knock on the door and it's all it took. Wrapping her arms around his neck and pressing her lips to his and she was gone. He wrapped his arms around her waist and kicked the door shut behind them.

Two months later and it was almost Christmas. Jake had told her he had a gift for her, that she would get it the next time they met. They met once a week for the first three weeks, but as they got more comfortable in the situation they got more daring. The frequency of the trysts grew as November wore on. But with Christmas just three days away they came to a screeching halt. For the past three weeks they had been meeting no less than four times a week and last week they had met every day except for Tuesday. Celeste had had a doctor's appointment. She was due soon and Jake promised that as soon as the baby was born and Celeste was recovered he would leave her. They weren't happy together and things had been worse since the pregnancy started.

So with their last meeting until after Christmas Lianne prepared longer, taking special care with her hair and make-up. Keith had left an hour ago for his shift. He hadn't seemed to notice anything was different, but their timing had been perfect when they started this. He thought she was still in mourning and she did nothing to correct him. They had only been together once since her mother's funeral and he hadn't questioned her on it.

When she arrived at the hotel Jake had a small gift-wrapped box sitting on the small dining table. But it would have to wait until after their usual activities.

They moved quickly tonight. Forgetting to put the lock on, the _do not disturb_ on the door and on the phone. And the box of condoms lay unopened on the table beside the bed.

She didn't worry, just moved onto her gift while they waited for room service. Snuggling into the white terrycloth robe she tore into the shiny red paper. From the black velvet box she extracted a pair of round diamond earrings in a silver setting. She kissed him and thanked him profusely.

They moved slower this time, but still managed to forget the protection sitting on the table next to her gift.

_You are everything you want to be_

_So just let your heart reach out to me_

Lianne drove calmly to the hotel. It was almost the end of January and Jake had called her two days ago to cancel due to the fact that his wife had given birth. He called this morning to reschedule, one more tryst before his wife and child were released from the hospital and he no longer had as much free time. But soon she wouldn't either.

She was pregnant.

And god help her she couldn't definitively say who the father was. She had been with Jake for nearly four months now, but they had always been careful… except for right before Christmas when in their passion had forgotten. Their time before had ended with him assuring her his marriage was over and her excitement had carried over into the next time. They had been stupid.

And she had been with Keith once before that and then again on Christmas. An even dumber move that she would now have to explain to her lover.

She knocked on the door. 412. Always the same. She wasn't sure but she had a feeling that Jake had some sort of deal with management. She knew he had gotten a new credit card, and the statements were sent to his office. A credit card that Celeste knew nothing about. An account that listed Lianne as the secondary and had sent him a copy with her name on it. It had been tucked neatly in her wallet until yesterday, when she learned she was pregnant. Now she prepared to return it to him, along with the earrings he had gotten her for Christmas and the matching necklace he had presented her with a week later.

The door swung open to reveal a grinning Jake. A grin that didn't falter at the solemn look on her own face. Instead he began to prattle on about his daughter, Lillian. Apparently she was beautiful and Lianne would love her. So far the child was blonde and blue eyed and if it stayed that way she'd look a little like Lianne. So when Lilly was staying with them people wouldn't wonder. Wouldn't ask.

As he chattered on about the baby Lianne's stomach dropped, and for a moment she thought there would be another bout of morning sickness. But when the nausea didn't kick in she realized it was from what she was about to say.

"Jake." She said, her voice low and weak. He continued on though, he didn't hear her. She cleared her throat and spoke louder, stronger. "Jake."

He stopped, his hands froze in mid-gesture. "Yeah baby?"

She swallowed. She hated that he was calling her baby now, hated how it made her want to melt. Made her want to change her mind.

"We can't do this anymore." She insisted, surprised her voice hadn't cracked over the emotions threatening to choke her.

"What are you talking about?" Jake asked, confusion evident both in his voice and on his face. "It's only a little while longer. Until Lilly is more than two days old."

Lianne side-stepped Jake's out-stretched arms. She wouldn't look at him, couldn't look him in the face for the next part. Knew the hurt she would see there would gut her as she gutted him.

"I'm six weeks pregnant." She said in the same low, weak voice she had used earlier. She couldn't help it, she chanced a look at his face.

He looked… happy. Joyous even.

"We're going to have a baby?" He asked, but before she could respond he continued. "I'll have to start divorce proceedings sooner, and so will you. We'll work something out to get partial custody of Lilly, and she'll have a little brother or sister closer to her age than I had originally thought. But—"

"No Jake," Lianne interrupted, her voice strong and full of sorrow. "I can't. Because there's no guarantee…" she trailed off, hoping he would catch on to what she was saying.

"I'll leave her Lianne. I thought for a moment that I might stay with her because of the baby. But I want to be with you, and if it's a choice between you and our baby and her and Lilly… I choose you and the baby. I'll get custody of Lilly, joint for sure, but I'll file for full. It'll work out."

"It might not be yours Jake." This was the part she had dreaded. Actually telling him that she had cheated on him. In truth she had been cheating on Keith with him. But in her heart it hadn't felt that way until now. Now she felt the guilt of her betrayal. "It might be Keith's baby."

Jake's face fell and his knees shook. He had to sit, and when he did he almost missed the chair behind him. Lianne still stood nervously by the door, looking like she was ready to flee at a moment's notice. She hadn't even taken off her coat. That should have been his first clue.

"You slept with him." He didn't throw it out like an accusation, she'd already admitted as much. This was just him stating a fact.

"He's my husband." And that's all there was to it. Lianne slid the credit card onto the hotel room desk. Beside it she placed the necklace and earrings he had gotten for her. He didn't want them back, any of it.

"Keep them." He stood and crossed the room in three long strides. Scooping the jewelry up and placing them back in her hands. His hands came up to cup her face, his thumbs gently rubbing the tears from her cheeks. Slowly he leaned down and pressed a chaste to her lips.

"This breaks my heart more than any letter ever could." He whispers as he backs away from her and picks up her abandoned credit card, never breaking eye contact with her. Finally he turns and walks out of the hotel room. He stoically leaves her, riding the elevator and leaving the hotel before he change his mind and beg her to still be with him. Before he begs her to take the chance that it might be his baby.

Lianne sits on the bed for nearly a half an hour after he leaves, staring into space, hand resting on her stomach. Before she leaves she glances around the room one last time. They won't be returning to the room again and with all the time they had spent in it she had grown rather fond of the décor. She lets the door close softly behind her and she takes the elevator down to the lobby. She makes her way numbly across, ignoring the people at the front desk and the bell boy. They all knew her. Not her real name, but they had seen her enough to recognize her. She's sure they all knew what she was doing here.

It takes her until she's in her car to break down.

She tells Keith later that night, when he gets home early from his shift. He looks happy enough but there's something in his that's different. A look that tells her that he knows. Knows she hasn't been faithful and that the baby may not be his. A look that tells her that he trusts her to have ended things with the other man over this.

It isn't until well after dinner that he finally says something about it though. And it's indirect, and subtle enough for her to not have to question it or make any excuses or explanations.

"I heard that Jake Kane's wife had a baby girl a couple days ago. A man's got to be happy with that, a good wife and healthy little girl." Keith says it almost out of the blue. If it weren't for the fact that he just found out that she was pregnant it would be almost be like he was calling her on it. That he was actually bringing up her affair. But the look in his eyes says he doesn't want confirmation that they're having and affair. Just confirmation that it's over.

"Good for him. I hope they'll be happy together, the three of them." Is her only reply before she excuses herself to go shower. After she steps under the spray her façade breaks and the happy mask she'd been wearing since she gave the news cracks. The tears come hard and fast, disappearing into the water.

She's six and a half months along when she hears the news. Celeste Kane, pregnant again. Lilly is barely five months and they're already expecting again. It seems that Jake back to his marriage quickly.

She had only seen him once since they ended their affair. They had passed each other at the post office. She had been sending Adrianna a letter and had dropped her bag. When she looked up he had been frozen in the post office doorway, staring at her. He hadn't come in. Instead he had gone out and sat in his truck until she was finished and in her own vehicle.

She had a fairly easy birth, without a prolonged labor. Keith had coached her, squeezed her hand and encouraged her.

She had cursed his name and threatened him, taking the time to glare at him in between the doctor's shouts for her to push. She threatened violence to the overly perky nurse who seemed more excited than either she or Keith. _"Baby thief"_ had crossed her mind more than once. At one point she had told Keith to keep an eye on her.

Veronica Lynn, named for her grandmothers, was tiny. She had a mall tuft of blonde hair on the top of her head and seemed to already have a good disposition. After crying for a bit at the beginning she had settled down and sleepily cuddled up to her father's chest.

Her father. Keith would be the only father Veronica ever knew. Lianne had long ago decided against a paternity test. There was no way she could take this away from Keith. She had seen how excited he was throughout the pregnancy. How in love with his daughter he already was. Veronica already had him wrapped around her tiny little finger and all she had done was sleep.

As Keith began to speak to the baby and cuddle her closer into his arms Lianne reached up to fiddle with her necklace. The diamond pendant rolled between her fingers. Jake had Lilly and another baby on the way, Keith could have this one.

Whether it was his or not.

_Keep my light in your eyes_

_Say goodnight, not goodbye_

_Say goodnight_

_Not goodbye_


	3. When Its All Unraveling PART A

**Title:** Symmetry 3a: When It's All Unraveling

**Pairings/Characters:** Lianne/Jake, Lianne/Keith, Jake/Celeste, mentions of Logan/Lilly and Duncan/Veronica _(eventually Logan/Veronica)_

**Rating:** PG-13 (for mention of sexual situations and adultery)

**Spoilers/Warnings:** Everything to 3.17 (Debasement Tapes), especially Season 1

Pre-Series

**Disclaimer:** None of it's mine, and if it was it would all be going different right now. So don't sue, because I have nothing and it'd be a waste of both our time. The Song is i In the End /i by Linkin Park

* * *

Symmetry

3a

When It's All Unraveling

_One thing, I don't know why  
__It doesn't even matter how hard you try  
__Keep that in mind, I designed this rhyme to explain in due time  
__All I know is time is a valuable time  
__Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings  
__Watch it count down until the end of the day  
__The clock ticks life away, it's so unreal_

Her daughter is fifteen now, and all Lianne can do is look back and regret. She'd always known that there were some things in her life that she shouldn't have done. She just didn't think that they'd haunt her for this long.

Veronica looked like her. Which normally would have made her happy, because who didn't want their child to look like them. Small, petite, with soft blonde hair and beautiful blue eyes. A California dream girl. Unfortunately that gave no clue as to who her father was. She had kept hoping that Veronica would develop Keith's rounder face. That she would be able to see the similarities in her and Lilly when they hung out at the house. But Veronica was all her. Her personality resembled Keith's but that could just be a case of nurture instead of nature. After all, she seemed to share Lilly's personality as well, although to a lesser degree in the rebellion arena… thank god.

Lianne never thought that she would regret not getting the paternity test done when her daughter was born. She was wrong. As the years went on the curiosity of it all drove her mad. Sometimes she found herself staring at old photos of Veronica and Lilly. Looking for more than the fact that they both had blonde hair and blue eyes. But she could never make it past the irony that her daughter had chosen Lilly _Kane_ as her best friend. Veronica and Lilly always said that they were close like sisters, but Lianne didn't think either would really be too pleased to find out that they might actually be sisters.

Now she considered getting a test done immediately

Shortly after Lilly's sixteenth birthday party Veronica had announced that she was officially Duncan Kane's girlfriend. It had happened during dinner, and Lianne had nearly choked on her chicken as a result. Veronica had been concerned for a moment before going into detail about how it had happened. They had been sitting by the pool while Lilly and Logan were making out on a chair. Duncan had leaned forward and kissed her cheek. They had talked for a while before he asked if she wanted to go to a movie, then pizza afterwards. It was something the four of them had done as a group often enough to be normal, but instead it would just be the two of them this time. Lianne had visibly paled while she listened to the story. Thank god Keith wasn't home that night. It would've caused a fight for sure.

She hadn't really thought much about the conversation they had a month earlier. The one where Veronica had informed her of the fact that she like Duncan Kane as more than just the friend he already was. She had been hoping that Duncan had more sense than to date his sister's best friend. But no luck.

Lianne still marveled at the tangled web that those four kids created. Lilly and Logan had been dating since Lilly's fifteenth birthday, and had broken up over a half dozen times since. According to the snippets she caught of Veronica's phone conversations the break ups took place mainly in public. And Veronica didn't have a clue why Lilly felt the need to embarrass him like that. And when Logan came over to ask for Veronica's help, they sat on the porch. Lianne could always hear him asking her to talk to Lilly. The way the two of them joked around seemed so comfortable, so carefree. He teased her lightly and he was the only person she'd ever seen actually get away with calling her Ronnie. For a while Lianne had held out hope that Veronica would date Logan. While Veronica would never betray her best friend like that, she's pretty sure Lilly would get over it.

Then there had come the Duncan nightmare. Six months and counting and they were still stuck on each other. She overheard Lilly scold her enough times to know that Veronica hadn't allowed the relationship to move beyond an occasional make-out. That they were sugary-sweet and innocent little virgins. Lianne only prayed it stayed that way. She didn't know what she was going to do when she overheard a different kind of conversation. One that involved Veronica asking Lilly for advice.

Lilly would encourage it for sure, and she would push them at each other with a vengeance. Lilly was enamored with the idea of her best friend and brother hooking up. Adored the idea that the two of them might get married and live happily ever after someday. Lilly teased Veronica for her _"silly little fantasy"_, but Lianne could hear the thrill in her voice. The very idea that Duncan might make the girl she thought of as a sister her real sister excited her. No matter how much Lilly wanted to play the grown up, the worldly woman, she was still a little girl with little girl dreams of her best friend becoming her sister.

The summer months had been the hardest for Lianne to handle. The four of them—Veronica, Lilly, Logan and Duncan—had been inseparable for three long months. It was somewhat hard to keep track of them. The were at the beach, Lilly's house, Logan's house, the mall, a party, the movies, Java the Hut, driving up to LA for a concert. Always together, always the four of them. And Lianne had no idea how far away her baby was getting. She was more distant lately, totally preoccupied with her first real relationship and her friends. Too distant for Lianne to get a decent feel on the situation, for her to read her face and see if what was going on in her mind. Veronica had always been an open book, she just needed to stand still long enough for Lianne to see.

When September came they were about nine months into their relationship and Lianne had heard Veronica tell that boy she loved him over the phone. Which meant she had done it in person.

Which meant that she'd let this go way too far.

_Didn't look out below, watch the time go right out the window  
__Trying to hold on, didn't even know I wasted it all, just to watch you go  
__I kept everything inside, and even though I tried it all fell apart  
__What it meant to me will eventually be a memory  
__Of a time that…_

Homecoming was tonight, and Veronica had found what she called "the perfect dress" a week ago. Now she was complaining that it was too pink, too pastel, too much. She wanted red satin. This had to be Lilly's doing. Lilly was always the instigator and always made her daughter _want_ to be sexier. The limo had pulled up a few minutes ago and Logan had followed Duncan inside.

After they had posed for pictures the three of them had walked to the limo to head back to the Kane house. Duncan complained that Lilly hadn't been ready when they had left to come get Veronica. Logan made a joke about it and leaned forward to tickle Veronica. Veronica in turn slapped his hands away with a smile but defended Lilly on her next breath.

"You know Lilly needs an entrance, and she can't have one if we're not all there." Veronica defended as her hand caught Logan's. "Besides, she promised that I'd be there for the reveal of her dress. Since I didn't get to see it first, nobody gets to see it before me."

"Whatever Ronnie, you know she just wants to show off and make us wait for her. Time restraints be damned. Lilly Kane hurries for no one and if time doesn't like it, than it can just stand still. Right?" Logan said in his loud boisterous voice, pulling the limo door open and waiting for Veronica and Duncan to slide in first.

Whatever Veronica's reply to that was lost as Logan slid into the luxury car and slammed the door shut. Slowly the black limo pulled out into the street and in the direction of the Kane home.

* * *

It was 3am and Keith was pacing, going out of his mind. Veronica wasn't due to come home, having arranged to stay with Lilly after the dance. But a call from Celeste had alerted him to their daughter's trick. 

According to Keith Jake and Celeste had told the four of them to be back at the estate by one, extending the normal curfew by an hour for the dance. But when one thirty had rolled on by and they were still four teenagers short Celeste had panicked. She'd called Lynn and Aaron who had turned out to be out of town, and then she had called Keith. She wouldn't talk to Lianne.

Lianne opted to stay at the house in case Veronica showed up. Keith put on his uniform and picked up a squad car from the station. He'd go looking for the kids first, then head over to the Kanes'. He'd call as soon as he heard something.

It was 6am when she finally got a call. They were alright, rumpled and sleepy from staying up all night. According to Keith they hadn't gone to the dance, instead they had drove around, parked at the beach and drank champagne all night. Lilly and Duncan were being punished, Lilly more harshly than Duncan. The way Veronica told it Lilly was always punished more. Celeste played favorites with her children, as did Jake. Lianne couldn't help but wonder who would be the favorite if Veronica turned out to be his.

Keith had dropped Logan off at his empty home, sorry to leave the boy to his own devices and allow him to go unpunished. Keith thought that Logan needed more discipline, more guidance. He was trouble. Keith assured Lianne he'd be making a trip back to the Echolls when the boy's parents returned in a week and a half.

Lianne wondered who was even watching the boy. He was still only fifteen, the youngest of the group. A little over a year younger than his girlfriend, five months younger than Veronica, and a little over three months younger than his own best friend. Still, no matter how immature he seemed, there was a maturity that made him a little more dangerous than most boys his age. She hoped that if Veronica went through a bad boy phase it would be with this one. At least Lianne knew his parents, was friends with them.

Every girl had her bad boy and rebellious stage. Lianne's bad boy had been Kurt Meyers and she'd broken up with Jake for him the summer before senior year. It lasted a week. Maybe she should have pushed it longer, tried to be with him after Jake had broken her heart after her own homecoming. There was no way of knowing how things would've turned out then.

Now though, now Veronica had hit a rebellious stage… finally. Lianne had started to wonder if she had gotten the wrong daughter altogether. She'd read about that baby switch back in 92 and sometimes wondered if she'd gotten the wrong baby. After all she was never this well behaved in high school. It didn't matter if she were Jake or Keith's daughter either. Keith had told her stories about his wild teenage years. And she'd experienced Jake's right along with him.

When Keith arrived home with Veronica in tow he announced that since it was her first and only offense he'd be lenient. She was only grounded until Friday, but a strict grounding until then. No phone, no television and absolutely no Lilly outside of school.

* * *

Monday Veronica informed her mother of a new friend, Yolanda Hamilton. The girl was—according to Veronica—African-American and beautiful. She lived in the 09er district as well and Veronica had saved her from humiliation on her first day. Something about almost going into the teacher's lounge for first period. Veronica was proud of herself for finding her before Lilly. For bringing her into the fold of their clique—the popular kids. She praised herself on her "good eye" because everyone seemed to like Yolanda already. 

Tuesday she had been late after school. When she'd rushed through the door, apologizing with darting eyes, looking for an excuse. Lianne waved it off, not really caring. She didn't have the energy to. She'd just gotten her own kind of punishment of Jake yelling at her over the phone for the kids staying out all night. Yelling at her for allowing this thing with Veronica and Duncan to get so far. Lianne had just pointed out that he had allowed it too.

By Wednesday Keith had let her off grounding, not being able to keep her in the house any longer. He had told her during breakfast and by lunch she had called to inform her mother she'd be at Yolanda's with Lilly after school. The two girls seemed to have chosen a third but chances were they ditch her before too long. Lianne had watched them do it before. Madison Sinclair had followed them like a puppy for a couple weeks before Lilly had grown tired of her and Veronica couldn't handle her anymore. Caitlyn Ford hadn't lasted any longer, ditched after only one sleepover. Lilly had told Veronica that she couldn't stand how utterly fake Caitlyn was, orange tan and everything. Veronica had called her insipid and had been done with it. Lianne could go through a list of girls: Shelley, Susan, Carrie, Rachel, Sara… the list went on.

Thursday was some party at Logan's. Duncan came to pick her up and been rather annoyed to find that his girlfriend was going to lie to Logan about _his_ girlfriend. The story was that Lilly was ill, when in fact she was playing hooky. Some sort of game that Lilly played with Logan. Veronica was home well before her curfew, still on good behavior since her post-homecoming grounding. She had been withdrawn though, came in and kissed her goodnight then directly to bed. Veronica was usually so chipper after parties, especially Logan's. Even though it was Logan's party, Veronica played a VIP role, getting special treatment and whatever she wanted.

Friday she returned from school only to grab her pre-packed duffel. Lilly had to run Shelley home to grab some stuff so she had some time. Lianne could have sworn that Veronica had said that Yolanda was going to LA with them on Wednesday.

"I thought Yolanda was doing this Fleet Week weekend thing with you and Lilly." She had asked while leaning against the doorframe to Veronica's room.

"Yeah, well Lilly broke up with Logan this afternoon. Yolanda no longer exists now because I saw her kissing him at the party last night." Veronica replies, holding up a top for further consideration before shoving it into her pack.

Lianne pushed off the door and made her way to her daughter. Running her hand over her hair she asked, "You okay? You seemed to have really like Yolanda."

"Yeah, well I did. But who does that to a girl that made such an effort to be her friend? Who kisses another girls' boyfriend?" Veronica responds, pushing away from her mother's hands and towards the door as she hears Lilly's honking.

Veronica is out the front door and running to Lilly's SUV before Lianne realizes she was right about Yolanda. She didn't last

* * *

Veronica returned home late Monday night, with just enough time to do her weekend. She barely acknowledged Lianne's question of whether or not she had fun. Lianne supposed she really didn't want to know. What three teenage girls were doing in Los Angeles during Fleet Week gave her enough of a visual without getting details. 

Veronica seemed happy Monday morning, talking excitedly about seeing Duncan. She hadn't seen him since early Friday. Rushing out of the house when Lilly pulled up, she had yelled something about not being home. Plans to do something with Duncan.

So Lianne was a little shocked when Veronica burst into the house after school. No, looking at the clock she seemed to be home a little bit early. And if the sound coming from the foyer was any clue, she was crying. Before Lianne could make it out from the kitchen she had already ran to her room, slamming the door behind her.

Tapping lightly on her door, Lianne let herself in. Veronica had her face pressed to her pillow and was sobbing. Lifting her head up, she looked at her mother.

"What's wrong baby?" Lianne asked, sitting down on the bed beside her, running her hand over her hair.

"He just ignored me. He just ignored me, mom." Veronica cried out, burying her face into her pillow again.

"Who just ignored you? I thought you were going out with Duncan after school." Lianne asked, confused as to what was going on.

"Duncan, mom. Duncan just ignored me, like I didn't even exist. I tried to talk to him this morning before class and he just walked away." Veronica's voice was muffled, but Lianne heard it clearly. "Like I didn't even exist."

So it was done. Duncan and Veronica were over and Lianne didn't have to worry anymore.

_I tried so hard and got so far  
__But in the end it doesn't even matter  
__I had to fall to lose it all  
__But in the end it doesn't even matter_

It's the first of October when she hears the message. She was in the closet trying to decide if she wanted to go with Veronica's color-coded system she seemed to have going on or just hang the clothes and get out. The phone had rang a couple of times but Lianne ignored it, she was getting tired of the laundry and wanted to move on to something else. The machine picked up.

"Veronica, it's Celeste Kane. It's important that I speak with you. I have some information you need to know… concerning your mother and my husband." Celeste's cold voice came over the speaker, sounding just as pernickety when recorded as she did live.

Lianne walked over and dropped onto her daughter's bed. Now she really didn't want to finish putting up the laundry. But watching a movie didn't look like so much fun anymore either. All she wanted now was a drink, a shot of something strong to make the pain of this go away.

It was finally over. The perfect little life she had cultivated after the affair. She had thrown herself into being the perfect mother. And the perfect wife, making up for the four months she had spent being a bad one. And the one moment it took to make her a bad mother. But now it seemed it had all been for nothing. Celeste knew the truth, probably had always known, and had finally decided to share it with Veronica.

And Duncan and Lilly. It would certainly explain why Duncan had suddenly stopped speaking to Veronica. It would also explain why Tuesday night Veronica was sure Lilly would make it all better and today Lilly had apparently told her to give it up. That's why Keith had taken her out for ice cream after dinner. _"Get her out of the house and her mind off that family."_ Is what he had said.

Lianne had her hand on the knob to the liquor cabinet before she realized she had another option. A "Plan B", if you will. She rushed back to Veronica's room and deleted the message off the machine. Digging her cell phone out of her purse she found the number to Jake's office.

"Jake Kane's office, how may I help you?" An older woman's voice came over the line. It was still the same secretary that Jake had 17 years ago, the one that didn't particularly care for Celeste. The one that liked her.

"Hello, it's Lianne Mars. I'm looking for Jake." She tried to give her best "concerned mother" voice, hoping that she could play off that she was looking for Veronica.

"Just a moment." The woman said, sounding a bit surprised to hear from her at the office. But moments later Jake's voice came over the line.

"Lianne? What is it? Something wrong with the kids?" His voice was concerned, but she could hear the hope in it. He had called her several times over the years, asking to see her. She had always refused, she felt guilty enough. But his voice always made her long to say she would.

"We need to meet. Soon." Her voice was insistent, leaving no room for him to refuse her.

"I can't tonight, I have to get home to talk to Lilly about her behavior. And I'm completely booked with meetings tomorrow. Friday? I'll call and reserve our room at the Grand?" His voice was so hopeful at the end it almost broke her heart. She steeled herself against it. She wouldn't give in.

"Friday is good. Early afternoon?" She waited him to agree before she hung up. Two days. All she needed was to hold off on killing Celeste for two more days.

* * *

Friday had been a good choice for her meeting with Jake. Veronica had a pep squad car wash fundraiser thing this afternoon. She seemed excited to do it even though she'd be giving up her afternoon to wash people's cars. It didn't matter one way or the other to Lianne if she wanted to do it or not, as long as she was out of the house and not wondering where her mother was. 

Lianne walked into the bar of the Neptune Grand, settled on a stool and ordered a Chardonnay. Some things never changed. Checking her watch she moved towards the elevator. 3:25pm. Jake had told her to meet him at 3:30. Five more minutes and she could straighten this mess out, protect her baby.

The ride up to the room seemed longer than usual, the dread building in her. She couldn't believe she was here again. Meeting Jake in hotel rooms.

She knocked on the door this time, she hadn't tapped in years. Age had made her bolder, less scared of what was behind the door. And her mission strengthened her, her goal fortified her resolve. She would get Celeste to back off.

Jake swung the door open widely, a small smile on his face.

"I was scared you weren't going to come." He says as he steps back to allow her entrance.

"It was my idea, remember?" Lianne's voice is clipped, curt. He notices.

"Your idea. Your idea to come here and fight?" His mood has plummeted abruptly, and the realization that what she came her for and what he came here for were two different things made him turn angry. "Because if that was your goal, you've succeeded."

Lianne gasped at the sight of finger-like bruises on his neck. Like someone had tried to choke him. "Jake! What happened to you neck?"

Jake pulled his head away from her questing fingers. He rolled his eyes at her attempt at concern for his well-being. The bruises had faded since Duncan had put them there. They had been quite ugly last night too, but thankfully they'd turned a pale yellow color. They'd be gone completely in the morning.

"Nothing, Lianne. Just fell asleep at my desk and at the wrong angle." The lie was weak, and didn't really make any sense, but she didn't question it.

"You need to talk to your wife." Lianne's voice was back to being cold again, all concern for him gone.

"About what? There's nothing I need to speak with her about." Jake's voice had gone icy as well. He wasn't going to budge an inch today, instead opting to be hard and stubborn.

"She called Veronica two days ago. Said she had information about us that she should know. You need to control her." Lianne's voice was rising, and despite it crisp tone she was panicked.

"Control her how? What do you suggest I do? Short of telling her my affair is and was none of her business and to stay out of it." Jake's voice had risen too, and the sarcasm came off as mean and spiteful.

"I don't care what you say to her." Lianne was yelling now, and her hands flew into the air in an angry gesture.

"Yeah, well I'm going to need some suggestions. Because Celeste is not that easy to _control_." He drug out the last word, almost making it sound like it was obscene.

"Here's a suggestion. Tell her to back off or I'll have a paternity test and take you for millions." It was out of her mouth before she had thought it through. He looked stricken and she was taken aback by her own suggestion.

In the awkward silence they heard a key-card swipe, then the door swung open. Celeste stood there, rage evident on her face.

She was screaming. Celeste was screaming about the two of them meeting in secret, _again_. Sex and lies and cheating. She was calling Lianne a whore and Jake a bastard. A torrent of insults rolled off her tongue.

Lianne walked quickly to the exit, ignoring Celeste's comments as she passed. Before the door slammed she could hear Celeste turn her insults on Jake. Once in the elevator she released a breath. It was done. She'd threatened Jake and escaped without sleeping with him. And they would have slept together. The fire, the spark, was still there.

She detoured to the bathroom to splash some water on her face. Maybe it would help calm her down. Doubtful, but worth a try. When she came out she saw Celeste storm out of the lobby. Her heals clicking at her swift pace. Jake wasn't far behind her.

**A/N:** This will be the last chapter for a few days


	4. When Its All Unraveling PART B

**Title:** Symmetry 3b: When It's All Unraveling

**Pairings/Characters:** Lianne/Jake, Lianne/Keith, Jake/Celeste _(eventually: Logan/Veronica)_

**Rating:** PG-13 (for mention of sexual situations, adultery, alcoholism, and character death)

**Spoilers/Warnings: **Everything to 3.17 (Debasement Tapes), especially Season 1

Pre-Series

**Disclaimer:** None of it's mine, and if it was it would all be going different right now. So don't sue, because I have nothing and it'd be a waste of both our time. The Song is i In the End /i by Linkin Park

* * *

Symmetry

3b

When It's All Unraveling

_One thing, I don't know why  
__It doesn't even matter how hard you try  
__Keep that in mind  
__I designed this rhyme to remind myself how I tried so hard  
__Despite of the way you were mocking me  
__Acting like I was part of your property  
__Remembering all the times you fought with me  
__I'm surprised it got so far_

Lianne drove to the beach and parked her car. She got out and settled in on the hood of the car. She was supposed to pick up Veronica from her pep squad thing, made sure to meet Jake early enough as to not be late. And here she was, getting later by the minute and not caring. She hadn't slept with Jake since just before Lilly was born but he still affected her. Dammit. She had gone there to make a point, but all she did was get them caught by his wife. Celeste probably thought that they were starting up their affair again… or worse, never ended it.

It had been hours, the sun had set and she knew that Veronica had either walked to the station or Lilly had taken her home. Lianne had abandoned her daughter for the afternoon. She slid off the car and back into the driver's seat, and started home.

* * *

She had only been home a few minutes when a squad car pulled in front of the house. The lights were going. Lianne squinted through the glare of the lights and the sheerness of the curtains to see Veronica climb out of the front passenger side door. Deputy Lamb got out and made sure she made it into the house. No doubt following Keith's orders. 

Veronica was sobbing when she came through the front door, and it took a moment for Lianne to realize the loud bang was the sound of her dropping to the floor. She rounded the corner of the foyer to find her daughter crying hysterically on the tiled floor.

It took Lianne ten minutes to coax Veronica into standing up and walking to her bedroom. She laid on her bed and continued to cry silently, offering no explanation for her current state. She just lay there, curling into a ball until she was in the fetal position, her low sobs echoing around her.

Then Veronica's phone began to ring. Consistently.

The machine picked up.

"Veronica? It's me, Ashley, I just heard on the radio that something happened to Lilly. Do you know anything about it? Call me."

"Veronica, it's Caitlyn. My dad just told me that something happened at the Kane house, something about Lilly and an incident. What the hell is going on? Call me back."

"Veronica? It's Lynn Echolls. Logan just heard the news about Lilly. He's left and I don't think he went to the Kane house. If he's there will you have him call home? He left very quickly and I'm afraid he'll wreck."

Lianne could hear the clink of ice in a glass in the background, the pouring of liquid. It seemed that Lynn would be getting an early start on her weekend blitz. So much for being worried about her son. She'll probably be drunk and passed out by time anything turns up on Logan's whereabouts.

There was a stuttered and hesitant knock on the front door. She didn't want to leave her daughter here alone, but if it was Logan he could offer more comfort. He knew what had happened.

Lianne swung the door open as Logan's slumping form started to turn away from the door. He looked up to her with wide, scared eyes. Tear tracks making their way down his cheeks.

"Logan?" She greeted him questioningly, hoping to get some answers.

"Is Veronica home? Does she know?" Logan's voice was hoarse and cracked, like his sobbing had been uncontrollable like Veronica's.

"She's in her room. You can—"

Logan pushed past her without waiting for her permission to go on in, muttering a "thanks" as he disappeared into Veronica's room.

Lianne stood and listened at the doorway.

"Logan?" Veronica's voice had that same harsh quality to as Logan's had. She sounded so broken. There was a creak of the bed as Logan sat down, then the crying started back up again full force.

Lianne peeked in to find the two teenagers wrapped in each other's arm, lying on the bed sobbing.

Something was definitely _very_ wrong.

* * *

It was an hour and a half before she finally got to speak with Keith. She had called the office at least a dozen times. But he was the one who called her this time. 

"Keith, what happened? Veronica's upstairs sobbing after being dropped off by Don and Logan showed up a little while later. Now they're both up there crying and I had to unplug Veronica's phone because I swear everyone in her class has called." Lianne didn't even greet her husband, simply launching in the spiel she'd gone over and over in her head each time she had dialed the station.

"Hasn't Veronica said anything to you?" Keith's voice was full of confusion and concern.

"No. I couldn't get her to stop crying long enough. Then all those kids from school called and left messages. Something about Lilly? What's going on?" Lianne was starting to get irritated. Why wouldn't anyone tell her anything?

"Lianne. Lilly Kane was murdered this afternoon. They found her by the pool." Keith's voice was like stone as he relayed the message.

She felt the phone slip through her fingertips and heard the "Oh my God" she yelled out at the news. But it didn't feel like it was her, it felt like it was someone else. Lilly had been murdered by the pool in her backyard that afternoon. Murdered. Her daughter's best friend had been _murdered_.

The phone broke apart at her feet as she realized something else with horrifying clarity…

Lilly had been murdered that afternoon. She had been alone because Lianne had called her father to the Grand and her mother had followed. They hadn't been home as a result to the meeting Lianne had insisted upon.

Lilly's death was Lianne's fault.

_Things aren't the way they were before  
__You wouldn't recognize me anymore,  
__Not that you knew me back then  
__But it all comes back to me in the end  
__You kept everything inside, and even though I tried it all fell apart  
__What it meant to me will eventually be a memory  
__Of a time that…_

Lianne sat comfortably on the bar stool. Eight days. It had been eight days since the murder, and yesterday had been Lilly's funeral. A big spectacle with cameras and paparazzi and people intruding on other's grief.

Two more days. That's all they had left. Two more days for Veronica to be a regular teenagers and two days for Lianne to enjoy a little time with her friends. Two days before Keith brought all of their worlds crashing down around them.

He was going to accuse Jake.

Lianne stared at the shot of vodka in front of her. Crystal clear and tempting as hell. Her fingers wrapped around the small glass as the guilt gripped her. She threw her head back as she took the shot, slamming the shot glass back down and scooting it closer to the bartender. It was her fifth shot and she had worked on two beers before that. But the alcohol wasn't numbing her to anything this time. Instead it just made her a drunken mess.

They'd call her husband soon. They'd call and if she was lucky he'd send another deputy to pick her up and take her home. She hated they way he looked at her with those judgemental eyes.

The eyes that she'd seen the truth in over the past sixteen years, the eyes that judged her for Jake. The eyes that would judge her for taking another shot… like the one sitting in front of her right now. Like the one that she was picking up and letting slip down her throat right now.

Veronica was home right now, still devastated over her best friend's death. Still reeling from the funeral yesterday. Logan had stayed the night Friday and had barely left her side since then. Neither he nor Veronica could get through to the Kanes to speak with Duncan.

Lianne sat inconspicuously at the bar as a several women came in, taking up space at a booth.

"Have you heard anything about whether or not they've done anything about that Kane murder?" A brunette woman's voice carried above the sound of the jukebox, already loud and slurred.

"Nothing yet. But I heard that Sheriff Mars has a suspect, they're having a press conference on Friday. The paper is sending Joe, even though he's been trying to get a quote from Mars since Saturday." Lianne recognized this brunette, she'd run into her at many of the Department fundraisers. She always came with her husband, who always did the articles for the paper.

Lianne nearly fell off her stool as she got down, stumbling into the bathroom. Once there she locked the door and leaned against it, taking a moment to try and regain her composure.

She moved to stand in front of the mirror, staring at her haggard looking reflection. She hadn't been sleeping well, not since they night Lilly was murdered. Not since Lianne realized that she had officially ruined everyone's lives. After sixteen years of not letting it ruin her daughter's life, her affair finally did.

Veronica had lost her best friend, and possibly her sister, and soon she would lose everything else as well.

Lianne knew that the rest of Neptune's elite wouldn't stand for Keith accusing their beloved Jake Kane of murdering his precious daughter. In her death Lilly had been romanticized, and it hadn't even been a full week. But she'd gone from hellion and out of control girl with too much time and money, to a sweet and enthusiastic girl. To a innocent teenager that was brutally murdered for no reason.

She splashed some cold water on her face and left the restroom. Keith would be home from work soon and it wouldn't do well for him to find Veronica alone.

* * *

It happened Friday. One week from the day Jake's daughter was murdered he was publicly accused of it. 

He had known it was coming. Keith had told Lianne on Wednesday what he thought of it. Had actually given her the chance to play the alibi. But the phone call from Jake Monday night, before the funeral, had convinced her not to try and save him. _He _had convinced her not to.

Keith had told Jake Thursday that he was announcing that he thought Jake had something to do with Lilly's murder at Friday's press conference. Jake took that opportunity to prepare himself she supposed. Because after Keith's announcement inside the city building Jake had made an announcement himself outside on the steps.

He told the world that he missed his baby, his daughter who had been attacked and killed by someone last Friday. That he loved her and wanted nothing more to find her killer. He didn't know where Sheriff Mars got the idea that he'd been involved, but instead of looking at him he should be out looking for the real killer.

It was over now. Keith had pointed the finger at Jake and the rest of the town would react accordingly.

* * *

It had taken two hours before Lianne saw proof of the damage that had been done. Logan Echolls showed up on the doorstep again. This time he didn't look scared and grief stricken. This time he was angry and looked ready to blow. 

Veronica answered the door this time and stepped out onto the porch. Lianne could hear her daughter trying to calm him down.

"Logan, just calm down." Veronica's voice pleaded.

"What is wrong with you? With him? Don't you know what this is doing to Duncan? To Jake?" There was no mention of Celeste. None of the kids cared about Celeste, and Lianne guiltily felt a twinge of satisfaction.

"I don't know why, but my dad had to have a reason for doing it. For thinking it was Mr. Kane." Veronica's voice was desperate, and a little scared.

"So that's it then? You've chosen." It was all Logan said before walking away to his SUV. Lianne wondered what this would mean. What choosing her father over her friends was going to do to her.

_I tried so hard and got so far  
__But in the end it doesn't even matter  
__I had to fall to lose it all  
__But in the end it doesn't even matter_

A little over two weeks later Keith had been ousted as Sheriff. Boxes of his things sat in the hallway, unpacked. There wasn't a reason to unpack them, they'd be moving soon anyway. They couldn't afford the house with the loss of Keith's job and he had already started looking for apartments.

Lianne tried to convince him to leave. Veronica was miserable, came home crying most days. Her friends had not only turned their backs on her, but they'd taken it upon themselves to torture her. And leading the pack was none other than Logan Echolls, who seemed hell bent on destroying her as some misplaced sense of loyalty. Logan had always been loyal to Duncan, taking his side in everything and this was just one more example. Starting the war against Veronica was his way of proving his loyalty, his way of showing that the ruling class was just that. The ruling class.

They fought constantly. Keith didn't want to turn and run away with his tail tucked between his legs. He knew that Jake was hiding something. So was Celeste. Their stories hadn't matched up at the time of interrogation, but they had supposedly been together.

She didn't want to stay here in Neptune. She'd always loved it here, but now it had become a war zone. There was a war between the classes. The working class and the reigning class, the poor and the wealthy. Those who lived in the 09er zip code and those who worked in it. And the Mars family was on the wrong side. They had no money and no status anymore. With the loss of Keith's job both her and Veronica had lost everything. Their places in society, the thing they could hold over everyone.

They'd lost everything.

* * *

It wasn't until the end of October that Keith's humiliation was complete. They had been in the middle of a fight, yelling at each other while Lianne packed boxes. And Veronica sat in the background watching television and tears in her eyes. 

When the news came on announcing that they'd found the killer. Abel Koontz. A former employee with a grudge against Jake and his billions. Disgruntled and crazy he had bludgeoned the first born of one of the world's richest men in a twisted form of revenge.

Relief washed over Lianne. They had caught the killer and Keith would finally let this go. But he didn't. He still insisted that there was something off about Jake's story. About the whole thing. An anonymous tip, and no one ever picking up the reward money for it. It just started more fights, no matter how many times both of them assured Veronica that they'd work it out.

They moved into the new apartment the day after the Abel Koontz announcement. It was a new place for them, but the apartment was old and run down. It was worse than the first apartment that Keith and Lianne shared when they got married. In the years when they didn't have any money and Keith was just a rookie cop. They had less money now than when they were first starting out.

_I put my trust in you  
__Pushed as far as I can go  
__For all this there's only one thing you should know_

It was the middle of November when she got the first package. A slim manila envelope with no markings, no address on it. Nothing but her name neatly typed on a white label. It was in the mailbox when she got home from the grocery store. She had gotten two bills and the envelope.

She opened the bills first, hesitant to even touch the ominous package. It was something bad, she knew it. Nothing good came in things like this.

After staring at the envelope for what seemed like an hour she finally undid the flap and pulled out a picture. A picture blown up into an 8X10 photo that showed her daughter in her car, talking on her cell phone. Another behind it showed Veronica sitting at a counter talking to someone. Her face looked distressed and if Lianne had to venture a guess she would say it was taken at school while a classmate ridiculed her. Both photos had the crosshairs of a rifle scope drawn over Veronica's head.

It was a message… and a threat.

_I've put my trust in you  
__Pushed as far as I can go  
__For all this there's only one thing you should know_

It was another week before Lianne got another set of photos. One with Veronica leaving her therapists office. And one with her in the school hallway, a book fair banner behind her. The same crosshairs were superimposed over her head. It was the same message and the same threat. This time it came with a note. The word 'leave' was typed out. It was all she needed.

She took the photos to the bank and got a safety deposit box. She placed them safely inside and headed to the school. Getting Veronica out of class had been easy, getting Veronica to leave had been harder.

The drove up to her sister's for the weekend, Veronica skipping Friday in order to spend all three days in Palm Springs with Sheryl. She had complained about missing a History test and a Spanish project on Thursday and skipping a Math test of Friday. But Lianne had ignored her, telling her she was excused and she could make it up on Monday. It was just a little more time to prepare.

When they returned on Sunday Veronica had gone to bed. Lianne had snuck in and placed the unicorn music box on her dresser before picking up the suitcases she'd packed on Thursday morning.

Adrianna had agreed to let her stay. It would only be for a little while. Keith would be looking for her and with him just passing his detective's test he would have the resources to find her. But he couldn't.

She needed to disappear.

I tried so hard and got so far  
But in the end it doesn't even matter  
I had to fall to lose it all  
But in the end it doesn't even matter

* * *

**A/N: **This is the last chapter on Lianne&Jake. The Next chapter will be focusing on Veronica&Logan. It goes straight from Pre-Series to Future Fic, so there is nothing written 'during the series'. This was also conceived and outlined right after 3.17 (Debasement Tapes) so it will be like the last 3 episodes never existed.

Hope you like what is up so far. And thanks for the reviews. The new chapter should be up soon (its already written, I'm just proof reading)


	5. The Lines That Cross PART A

**Title:** Symmetry 4a: The Lines that Cross

**Pairings/Characters:** Logan/Veronica, Veronica/Casey _(mentions of: Logan/Parker, Veronica/Piz)_

**Rating:** R (for mentions of a slap, mentions of alcoholism, mentions of adultery, and almost-sex)

**Spoilers/Warnings:** Everything to 3.17 (Debasement Tapes), especially Season 1

Future Fic

**Disclaimer:** None of it's mine, and if it was it would all be going different right now. So don't sue, because I have nothing and it'd be a waste of both our time. The Song is _I'm Going to Stop Pretending I Didn't Break Your Heart_ by Eels

**A/N:** The POV changes through out the story between Veronica's POV and Logan's POV, but it's mostly Veronica's during the sections that pertain to Freshman and Sophomore years.

**A/N:** It's split into 2 parts, because it got a little long and I didn't want to make it 2 chapters. I have all the chapters all mapped out already and this is 1 chapter, just two different "themes" in the parts.

* * *

Symmetry

4a

The Lines That Cross

_I'm going to tell you what you need to hear  
__I'm a little too late by three or four years  
__It may not make too much sense that we are apart  
__But I'm going to stop pretending that I didn't break your heart_

Freshman year ended in a fight. The biggest fight ever since stopped trying to destroy each other. There was the prerequisite screaming about past mistakes… his, hers, everyone's. Yelling about Parker and Piz and staying out of each other's relationships.

It wasn't until he compared Piz to Duncan that she finally snapped. The moment he accused her of using Piz as just one more pathetic attempt at normal is when she lost her head completely. Veronica ended the fight and crossed a line she hadn't even realized that they'd drawn years ago. The slap across his face echoed through the suite like a gun shot. Like an expensive leather belt slapping against a young boy's back.

Veronica hurriedly made her escape from the hotel room. Left behind was a shocked Logan, standing in the middle of his living room, clutching the side of his face. She made it to the elevator before she let the tears she couldn't hold back anymore fall.

She'd slapped him. Literally raised her hand against him and hit him with a force she'd never shown him. With a violent temper. She never realized that she had promised herself that she'd never hurt him like that. And she hadn't until now.

After all they'd gone through, after all he'd done to her it was this she hit him. He'd spent all but a month and a half of their Sophomore year of high school making a sport of tormenting her. And the better part of Junior year. He'd gone back to doing so Senior year after their break-up, albeit in a slightly less cruel way.

Piz. He wasn't even that much of a big deal to her yet. Certainly not like Duncan had been, and he probably never would be. There was only two men in her life that she would defend to the death other than her dad and Wallace. Duncan and Logan. Duncan was gone, but if he ever came back she go to the mat for him. And even when she and Logan were at each other's throats she'd always had his back. He'd hated her and she'd looked for his mother. He'd been so angry and bitter Senior year and she still spent a good chunk of her time making sure he wouldn't go to prison for murder. She even risked eternal damnation to put surveillance in a confessional booth.

Her hand stung as she leaned against the wall and wrapped her arms around her middle. She bit her lip trying to get the tears to stop. This had felt like such a betrayal, like she had gotten caught cheating on him or something. And remembering the look on his face made her want to throw up.

The elevator made it to the ground floor without stopping and she rushed through the lobby as fast as she could.

She made it to her car before her phone rang. She prayed that it wasn't Logan because she didn't know how to explain herself. She prayed that it was, because she needed to apologize, to beg him for forgiveness. She was scared to look at the caller id, but with a glance she saw that it was Piz. Stupid Piz that was the cause of something so huge and didn't even know about it. She couldn't handle him right now, she couldn't listen to his over eagerness and nervous chuckles. Not while one of the most important relationships in her life went down the drain completely.

She had believed that eventually they would be together again, even after she swore that they wouldn't. She had known that the Madison thing would surpass. Eventually.

He hadn't though, and she'd wanted him to think that they'd never be together again. That he didn't have a chance. She hadn't been worried that he was gone permanently, not after the 'epic' speech. It still stuck in her head that he thought of her that way. Thought of _them_ that way. But after today he might not forgive her.

It could really be over.

* * *

Veronica and Piz went out the night before he was supposed to leave for Beaverton for the summer. He had a job lined up and his old band mates from high school had decided to reunite to play a few gigs around town. He had been excited until he realized that he'd be spending the entire summer away from her. Then he started suggesting that he get an apartment, maybe with Wallace, so he could live off-campus next year.

Veronica had wanted to dig out her taser and use it on him then. They'd only been together for a couple weeks and he was getting clingy. She went for the subtle approach instead.

"Actually Piz, I won't even be here this summer. And I'm pretty sure that Wallace is going to live in the dorms again next year." She looked down at her meal. They were in the food court, always in the food court. He hadn't even taken her on a real date yet and he wanted to scrap his summer plans for her.

"Oh? Where you going this summer? Road trip with Mac? Hanging out with old friends?" She could tell that he was just feigning his innocence, he wasn't that good at it. Veronica knew what he was really asking, what he really wanted to know. _Was she going to be hanging out with Logan?_

"I've got an internship. I'll be spending the entire summer in Virginia, interning at the FBI." She said it smugly, expecting praise like she'd gotten from her father, Wallace and Mac. They'd been just as excited as she was when she got the news.

"Huh, I'd thought you were spending the summer working for your dad since he won't be able to do the PI thing." Piz said, going back to eating his burger.

She just stared. No congratulations on beating out hundreds of other applicants and proving that she was his offspring like her father had said. No remark on how he wasn't shocked because the government either had to employ her or fifty other people to watch her, like Wallace had said. No asking if he was going to get paid for services provided once she was a fed like Mac had joked. Not even a look of awe. Just bland acceptance of the announcement like it wasn't a big deal.

* * *

Piz had asked her to come with him to Oregon as she dropped him off at the airport. Said that she had a week until her summer thing started and why not spend it with him. She could meet his mom.

Veronica had said no, and resisted the urge to yell at him. He didn't get it. Didn't understand that she only had a week to make sure that Weevil wasn't going to get into trouble over the summer. Only had a week to spend with her dad before being gone for three months, the longest she'd been away from him in the last 19 years of her life. A week.

He'd gotten out of the car looking completely rejected, muttering about wanting to spend some study-free time with her. Veronica couldn't help but remember that Logan called this _normal._ If this was normal she could honestly say that Duncan and her had never been normal either. Because she'd never been with anyone so completely oblivious to who she really was.

As she said goodbye to him in front of security she decided that this was a new situation. That she and Duncan had never had to pause their relationship for three months, especially at the beginning. That Piz was just acting like this because of the long separation. That in the fall he would be back to the happy and normal guy she'd started out dating and this needy guy would be gone.

_You see I never thought enough of myself to realize  
__That losing me could mean something like the tears in your eyes  
__I want to tell you I'm sorry and it's too late to start  
__But I'm going to stop pretending that I didn't break your heart_

She was wrong. Needy Piz was back in the fall. Happy and normal was gone and this guy got on her nerves. She tried to stick it out with him, but that only lasted a couple of weeks. She had no real obligation to keep it from getting awkward when Wallace had a new roommate. She wouldn't have to see him at the dorm constantly after the break-up. Wallace could hang with him on his own time, times when she didn't have to be there.

Veronica heard from personally from Parker that she and Logan had broken up early on in the summer. She had stayed in town for summer art classes and was still living in the dorms. Parker had been heartbroken for a month afterwards. She hadn't been eager to share the details with Veronica at the time so Mac filled in the details.

Logan had gotten mean. Like Sophomore and Junior years of high school mean. He'd been sarcastic and bitter, snapping at everyone. Including Parker. He wouldn't do anything she wanted to do and skipped dates and never returned phone calls. They were supposed to have dinner one night and she'd gone to his hotel room when he'd never showed to pick her up. When he'd answered the door he had asked her why she was there, that she should call before she came over.

Parker had reminded him of their date and asked why he hadn't shown up. He simply told her that a bunch of the guys had come over and they had gotten caught up in catching up. That's when she realized there was an room full of people. He introduced her to some of them. Enbom, Luke, Sean, Chris, Casey, and last but not least, Connor Larkin. There had been girls there too. Shelley, Ashley, Carrie, Gia and a couple others who's names were passed over. Parker had taken one look at the keg, a card table, the blaring music and gaping guys and walked out, saying she'd see him tomorrow.

When she'd broken up with him the next morning he'd made a bigger deal of her waking him up.

After hearing this information Veronica had gone home and ripped up the letter she'd written him over the summer.

* * *

It wasn't until they were well into their second semester of their second year at Hearst that they finally spoke again. And it was her father that made it happen.

Logan had been arrested for a drunk and disorderly, but had wasted his one call on Dick Casablancas. Dick was almost too drunk himself to even answer the phone. He had hung up with a "no way dude" as soon as Logan had mentioned jail. Keith apparently couldn't stand to see him sitting there, all alone in the drunk tank. He wouldn't tell Veronica what Logan had done or said to get him to call her. It had to be big though, Keith hated Logan and kept him away from his daughter at all costs.

It took less than an hour to pick Logan up and post his bail But it wasn't until they were half way to the Grand that she realized he didn't live there anymore. And that the key-card she had kept all this time was useless unless.

He seemed to sense her problem—as always—and gave her directions to a small beach house. It looked cozy and even though she had only ever seen him live in grandiose places, it fit him. She like it. It wasn't as pretentious as his old mansion and it wasn't extravagant like the hotel suite.

He reached for the door handle to leave and something inside her broke. She had wanted to say this to him for so long now that she suddenly couldn't hold it in any longer.

"I'm sorry." She said, her voice low and weak. It'd been so long since she'd said sorry to this man for anything. She felt like she could break from that simple fact alone. It'd been almost a year since the event she was apologizing for, and she wasn't sure if he would know. There had been so much she should have said she was sorry for.

"I had said worse things before." He said it knowing what she was talking about. He always was the only one that could follow her thought process. The only one that could keep up with her.

"I know, it's just… It wasn't… I didn't want to hear, couldn't hear, wasn't _ready _to hear. And it was too close to the truth for me to handle." She tried to explain her actions of the previous year and found it was still just as impossible as before.

"I've regretted it since the moment I did it." She continued, her head hung low, an actual feeling of shame washing over her.

"Why didn't you say anything then? Instead of storming out?" Logan countered, and damn him for asking good questions.

"Because I crossed that line. And I couldn't explain myself then. But I am so sorry for it, you have to believe _that_." She was suddenly afraid he might not forgive her.

He had always found a way to forgive her in the past, even if she couldn't do the same for him. But how many times was she allowed to mess up before _he_ finally got sick of forgiving _her_? She had always counted on his forgiveness, always kind of needed it. After all, she did do a lot of unforgivable things in the name of her finding justice. And he knew that firsthand.

"It's okay, you know." His eyes looked a little watery and his crooked smile said he really meant it. Maybe Logan's endless capacity for forgiveness rivaled her seemingly endless capacity to hold something against him.

"I've Done so many things I regret over the years. And you've forgiven me for the biggest ones." This time his voice betrayed the fact that he was lying. He knew she hadn't, not completely.

"My part in your rape. Me making it my mission to destroy you after Lilly. The summer before Senior year. Kendall." He listed some of the things she had held against him for a while, and some she never had. It was true though, she had let them go, hadn't even realized she'd done so.

"Madison." It was one word, one name, but it held so much hurt. She hadn't even realized she'd forgiven him for what would always be referred to as his "Aspen incident" in her mind. But if they were clearing the air it should all be said.

"You said you never would." His voice was hopeful, but she could see the doubt in his eyes. She'd lied about forgiving him before and the pain of that was still clear.

"Well I was wrong."

She held his eyes for a moment before her phone began to ring. Wallace's ringtone, the one he'd downloaded without her knowledge. The one that had taken her a few minutes to realize that that damn music was coming from her bag as she glared at some giggling redhead. _SexyBack _by Justin Timberlake. She had teased him mercilessly for choosing a former boy-bander's Top 40 hit to be his ringtone. She had expected something from Nelly.

"You should hear the one he chose on my phone." Logan said with that same crooked smile before exiting her car.

* * *

It took them less than a month of stilted and awkward conversations to figure out that they really could just be friends. When June rolled around and they weren't making out in the bathrooms and backseats of cars they figured they were home free.

At an end of year kegger Logan even managed to _not_ be one of the guys arrested. Parker had finally started speaking to him again, although she only did so when he asked her a direct questions. Her mono-syllabic answers were what finally did him in and made him quit trying. By mid-summer she had stopped speaking to Veronica as well. According to Mac, Parker didn't understand how they could go from hating each other for nearly a year to being the best of friends in less than a month.

Parker didn't understand how they could be like they were.

_And it's Christmas Eve years down the line  
__Sitting here wishing I had treated you better when you were mine  
__I have no way of knowing where you are  
__But I'm going to stop pretending that I didn't break your heart_

January of Junior year changed things drastically though, changing things between them and between her and her father.

A call from the Community hospital in a small Texas town changed everything. One call informing her that her mother had died of alcohol poisoning the night before, shortly after he new boyfriend had found her and called 911. The ambulance had been too late and it had taken the police several hours to find her next of kin. Daughter, Veronica Mars, and ex-husband, Keith Mars, both of Neptune, California.

It was her refusal to travel to Texas that started the fight between her and her father. After twenty minutes straight of arguing Veronica had slammed out of their apartment yelling as she went that "if she can't be buried here at home then I'm not going". It wasn't until she was halfway across town that she realized where she was going.

She tapped lightly on his front door, but before she could lower her fist Logan had swung the door open. Engulfed in a hug she felt her muscles relax and her fists unclench. This is what she needed. He knew what to do, he always knew what to do in these situations, and she let him lead her inside and to the couch. She took the glass of brandy he offered her and rested her head on his shoulder as he settled next to her. Somehow he had known she'd com and had all her favorite movies ready for her, queued up in the DVD player. She fell asleep, head pillowed on his chest, after the dude speech in "The Big Lebowski".

* * *

Her phone's persistent beeping woke her up roughly nine hours later. One new voicemail, from her dad, probably wondering where she was and who she was with. Twenty-one years old and she still had to check in with her father, who she still lived with. Pathetic. She had always expected to move out right after high school and here she was, three years later and hiding out at Logan's.

The voicemail was short and to the point. He didn't question her whereabouts or her company. Simply informed her of the address of the funeral, the time and the day. At the end of the message his voice faltered a bit when he asked how long she'd be staying with Logan.

She wondered briefly if her dad had called ahead of her and told Logan she was on her way. Probably not. There had to have been a fifty-fifty chance that she'd got to Wallace's last night and her father wouldn't give Logan the upper hand in spending a night with his daughter. And Logan wouldn't have called her dad and let him know she was staying because that would be admitting she stayed over and he was still too afraid of death to do that. No, they both just knew her too well. If she'd gone to Wallace's she wouldn't have stayed over. Not when he moved in with Piz at the end of last school year, albeit off-campus and not in the same room. There was still no way she was sleeping over in the same apartment with _that_ ex.

Veronica ventured out of the guest room to find Logan sitting at his kitchen table. He was reading the paper, drinking coffee and eating toast. The very picture of domestic tranquility. He looked up when she came in and leaned back in his chair, far enough for her to climb onto his lap and lay her head on his shoulder.

"My dad wanted to know how long I was going to stay with you." She stated, better to make it her father's question than her own. Better that than for _her_ to ask him how long she could stay.

"However long you want to stay. If you can't be in that apartment right now it's fine if you want to be here." Of course he still answered like she had made it her question.

He picked her up and placed her on her feet as he stood. He poured her a cup of coffee and handed it to her.

"When's the funeral?"

"Day after tomorrow. In Texas."

* * *

It only took Logan two and a half hours to talk her into what her father had spent the better part of the last week arguing with her about.

Her dad was already on his way, driving. Logan made flight reservations for both himself and her. She refused to spend the night outside of California, so they'd leave early and get back late. Logan didn't mind going with and the long schedule of the day. He refused to put her on the plane by herself and let her do this alone.

The arrangement suited her just fine.

* * *

She officially moved out of her dad's apartment and into Logan's beach house three days after the funeral. She couldn't stay there anymore and the lease was up anyway. He could find a one bedroom in a better part of town.

The first night after moving all her things in she cried. Breaking down in Logan's arms, sobbing. Afterwards, when she had cried herself to sleep, he didn't have the heart to take her to her own bedroom. He slept with her cuddled up to his side that night.

The second night she had burst into his room without knocking, too angry to hold it in. as he set his book aside, carefully marking the page, she began the rant he knew had been coming. He watched her from bed as she paced, hands gesturing wildly in her fury.

"He had no right to be there. No right. What was he thinking? Coming to her funeral when he knew damn well that both my dad and I would be there? Jake Kane has never thought about anyone but himself. Just like her. They should have been together. The most selfish, oblivious couple in the world…" and so she went on, her anger building until she was in tears again, shaking. She fell asleep clutching his shirt that night, nose buried in his chest, arms wrapped around her.

It had continued on for several more nights, alternating between depression and anger. Some nights she hated herself for kicking her mother out over four years ago after Aaron's attack. Other nights she raged on about her mother's betrayal with Jake Kane. How she was so quick to abandon her. How she didn't think twice about taking that fifty grand that her father had gotten for finding Duncan when he fled the country the first time. The only thing that stayed the same was Veronica always ended up in tears clutching at Logan.

One night Veronica had sat perched at the edge of his bed, chatting calmly. It was the first night she hadn't fallen asleep after dissolving into tears. Instead she had slowly drifted off while talking about the difference between something and something else. In the end she ended up curled on the far side of the bed, a foot and half away. Logan had laid there, awake, for another hour resisting the urge to pull her closer.

* * *

Three weeks after she moved in she brought home the "mystery boyfriend". Logan had almost gagged when he learned it was Casey Gant. And that had mostly to do with how he found out and a little bit to find out that she really was dating someone.

Logan had come home early to fid them there, sucking face on the couch… and he instantly wished he had taken Dick up on his party offer. But he'd been anxious to get home to check on Veronica. Stupid, stupid Logan. She was obviously fine, pressed between his suede couch and a guy he had kind of hated in high school. Casey had seemed shocked to see him too.

"Hi–heh… hey man," Casey stumbled over the words—and his feet—in his haste to get up from the couch and off of Veronica.

Veronica was beat red and looking like she wanted to die at the moment. Especially when Casey told him that they were going to watch a movie then asked he wanted to join him. Logan didn't even have time to answer before Casey said it was cool and then excused himself to make a phone call.

"So, Casey Gant?" He was relieved to find that his voice didn't crack over the words. He hadn't realized that he had been hoping for a reunion these last couple of weeks. The protectiveness had always been such a familiar feeling to him. After all he had been protective of her when they were younger and she was his girlfriend's best friend and his best friend's girlfriend. But this jealous feeling coupled with the dull ache of hurt in his chest was something he didn't feel back then. It was something he felt Senior year when he'd watched her with Duncan. Or the end of Freshman year of college when he'd had to see her with Piz.

"Yeah. I was going to tell you, but things were just so emotional for a while and the move and everything it just kind of got pushed into the background." Her eyes were downcast, she couldn't make eye contact and that bothered her more than getting caught making out on the couch with her secret boyfriend… again.

"It's okay, it was just unexpected. You hadn't mentioned your boyfriend… Casey, in a while." He couldn't quite get her to meet his eyes, and he had to stop himself from reaching out and putting his hand under her chin.

"So, what do you want to watch first V? The comedy or the murder mystery?" Casey came bursting back into the room before Veronica could tell Logan why she hadn't mentioned Casey in a while. He'd been on a business thing for his publishing company, trying to learn how to run the company that his grandmother had left him when she died back in 2005. He planned to start taking an active part in running it when he graduated and wanted to know as much as possible about how to do it before then.

"See, all I heard was do you want to watch the comedy or the comedy. So I'll go with the second comedy selection if you don't mind." Veronica made an attempt at a joke, an attempt at covering up the awkwardness between herself and both of them men in the room. Logan smiled at the remark, understanding exactly what she meant. Casey just furrowed his brow in bewilderment as he put in the mystery.

Logan's steps faltered when he realized that Casey was taking his seat on Veronica's right side. The side he always sat on, the side she always leaned to. He took the recliner that was separate from the couch she was on. Her look of disappointment and hurt was only a brief flash but he caught it. Just like he caught the way Casey slipped his arm around Veronica's shoulder and pulled her closer into his chest at an awkward angle. Just like he caught the possessiveness of Casey's move.

* * *

It was at 4am that Logan realized two things.

The first was that Veronica planned to sleep in her own bed that night. The second was that she didn't intend to do so alone.

_I didn't mean to hurt you  
__I didn't know what I was doing_

Her relationship with Casey last until the end of October Senior year. Logan realized that he didn't just _kind of_ hate Casey, he _really_ hated Casey. He hated the way Casey made everyone coffee in the morning. He hated the way he made Veronica laugh a laugh he never heard before. He hated the way Casey snuggled with her while watching a movie and ignored the fact that Logan was even in the house. He hated how Casey was basketball buddies with Wallace and talked to Mac like they'd always been friends. He hated the way Casey would always seem to be there for a week then basically disappear for the next one. But most of all, he hated the way Casey kissed her… and touched her. Like he had some kind of claim to her, some kind of right.

When he came home to find Veronica throwing things in a cardboard box he had immediately panicked. The thought that she could be moving out sent him reeling and searching for possible reasons for her to stay. Because the only option to living with him would be her living with Casey.

"What are you doing?" Logan was surprised that his voice didn't squeak the way it had when he was little and afraid. He hadn't been truly afraid since he was little. There had been times when instead of letting fear take over he pushed it away in order to do what needed to be done. Most of these times consisted of Veronica being in trouble and him having to put her safety first.

"Packing up Casey's things, he's going to pick them up tomorrow and I don't want him to have to be here looking for them. I'd rather he just pick up the box and leave." Her voice was casual and didn't sound overly hurt. It sounded like she was talking about Wallace coming by to grab the jacket that had been laying over the back of the couch that for the last two weeks.

"You and Casey broke up?" Logan tried to not let the joy he was feeling seep into his voice. Casey was gone. No more Casey. Why weren't they celebrating? Oh yeah, she'd actually like the guy.

"Yeah, we had a big fight and I realized that I just didn't care enough to fix it." Veronica glanced up at him before grabbing something off the table and tossing it in the box. He heard something shatter at the same time he realized that she really wasn't upset.

"I've got to go have dinner with my dad tonight and I promised Wallace and Mac that I'd meet them downtown afterwards. See you later?" She closed up the box and grabbed her sweater, her eyes searching his for confirmation.

"Yeah, I'll be home." Her hand skimmed over his as she said goodbye and it wasn't until she was out the door and he could think again that he remembered Wallace's jacket on the couch.

* * *

He finally went to bed at 1am, too tired to wait up for her anymore. He'd been up since five thirty that morning, a surfing man-date with Dick. Something they tried to do every Saturday, and it was probably the last time they'd be able to do it this year. The water was getting colder and he'd be lucky if he didn't have a cold tomorrow morning.

Veronica came in at 3am, exhausted from dodging her dad's questions about her and Casey, monitoring how much Mac and Wallace were drinking. But what really drained her was talking them out of their keys and driving them home. She wished for probably the millionth time that she'd dropped Wallace off first and it'd been I-don't-dig-into-your-personal-life-without-you-asking-me-to Mac that she'd been stuck in the car with.

But no, she'd wanted a little alone time with her BFF so Mac got dropped off first. Mac complained that she had an early morning meeting Parker for breakfast and how she was going to kill the both of them in the morning if she threw up. As soon as she disappeared into her dorm building Wallace turned his all-knowing gaze on her and did his nosy-ass best friend thing.

"So what's the real reason you broke up with Casey? And don't give me that shit about the two of you not working anymore." He knew always knew when she was lying and how to cut to the point. She could never understand how he did that. How he managed to be one of three people in the world who could see past the bullshit she presented to the world and into the truth of the matter. That could see her.

"It really just didn't work anymore."

He accepted it for tonight, he was drunk and probably figured that he'd have better luck tomorrow when he finally came over to get that jacket he left two weeks ago during movie night with her and Logan.

He passed out a block and a half away from his apartment and she'd had to call up to Piz to come help her.

"Why don't you stay on the couch? It's late." Piz asked her as soon as Wallace was tucked safely into his own bed, mumbling about being dizzy and never drinking again.

"I can't. I kind of told Logan I'd be home earlier than this and he'll worry if I don't come home at all. The next thing you know he's calling the station and the hospitals." She grabbed her keys off the living room floor where they'd dropped during the struggle with Wallace.

With that she had gotten in her car and driven home.

* * *

It was at 4am and she couldn't sleep that got up and decided on a course that had always helped her before.

She tip-toed down the hall to Logan's room and pushed open the door. He woke just as she was sliding in next to him.

"You're home late. Have fun?" He stretched and then shifted onto his right side so he could face her.

"I've been home for about an hour, but I couldn't sleep so…" She let her words trail off, knew she didn't have to explain the rest. She always came in here when she couldn't sleep. And he never cared, always just let her curl up on the other side of the bed and sleep.

"Why not? Rough day? Upset about the break up?" He rattled off the questions in quick succession, with a big yawn at the finish.

"Just couldn't, and it wasn't rough exactly. Just dad wanted to know what happened between Casey and me and Wallace didn't accept the reason I gave." She scooted her body a little closer to his without thinking about it. The sheets were still pretty cool on her side and she was getting a chill.

"And what reason did you give him?" Logan pulled up the blanket at their feet and tucked it around her back.

"That it wasn't working anymore and I couldn't see us going to the place that Casey wanted us to go." Veronica's voice wasn't as tense this time as it had been when Wallace and her dad had questioned her about it. But Logan's voice didn't sound so disappointed as her dad's had been. Or suspicious as Wallace's had been for some reason.

"It's true. It wasn't working and I didn't want what Casey wanted. Marriage and kids. But that wasn't exactly the _whole_ truth." She could see the shock in Logan's face when she mentioned the marriage and kids part.

"So what is the whole truth?" He asked, hoping that it wasn't that she was scared and couldn't deal with it. That was classic Veronica and just meant that eventually she'd come around.

"I realized I just didn't want him. Not that much and not in that way, and honestly it's _not_ fair to keep him in a relationship like that when he deserved a better one with someone that does want him. Although I couldn't really care less whether it'd fair or not, I just couldn't move in with him like he wanted."

"Did you give him the it's-not-fair-you-deserve-more speech?" At her nod he continued, "And his response to that was…?"

"That I didn't want to move in with him because I didn't want to move out of here. That I was too dependant on you and I was emotionally unavailable." Her voice was getting irritated and rising a little.

"Emotionally unavailable? Can you believe that? Emotionally unavailable, seriously? I felt like I was on Dr. Phil or Oprah or something." She glanced up into his eyes before furrowing her brow staring at his chest. _Emotionally unavailable? Seriously?_

"Why are you here Veronica?" Logan asked the question that he'd never asked before. She'd crawled in bed with him hundreds of times. After a nightmare about Cassidy or Aaron, after a fight with her dad. Hell, she'd practically camped out in his room after her mom died.

"I couldn't sleep." Veronica knew what he was really asking, but if she could avoid it for a little longer she could fall asleep and evade the real question altogether.

"So you're so upset about breaking up with your boyfriend of a year that it's induced insomnia?" His voice was sarcastic and doubtful. He knew she wasn't upset about it.

"Ten months, boyfriend of ten months. And not upset in a heartbroken, wish it would have worked out and I'm really going to regret this. Upset in a can't believe he said that to me way. It's the things he said that bother me. That I shut him out emotionally. That I wasn't really in the relationship."

"So why are you in _here_? Isn't Mac more qualified for this girl talk thing?" He knew the answer to that question, just wanted her to say it.

"You know me better, and who's more qualified for girl talk than you? Aren't you the expert?" She was started to get annoyed with his question. It was the same one, and usually he moved on after a question went unanswered once.

"I am in the expert in _girls_, but not the _talk_ part. And I want to know why you're in here Veronica, quit avoiding." Logan didn't usually take such a direct approach with her when she was being skittish, but the occasion called for it. He didn't want to keep running in the same circle that they'd been running in since their make up Sophomore year. Since their break up Freshman year, and before Senior year of high school. Since he turned on her when Lilly died. Since Lilly died and before. The same circles they'd run around each other when she was twelve and in a pigtails and a soccer uniform and he was the new kid.

"If you don't want me in here just say so Logan and I'll get out." There was the hurt. The hurt that she should have felt earlier with Casey, but didn't feel until now when Logan was possibly rejecting her. She made a move to get out of bed.

"I didn't say that I _didn't_ want you in here Veronica. I just want to know why _you_ want to be in here." Logan's hand snaked out to catch her wrist and keep her in bed. His heart raced at the hurt in her voice.

"Because _in here_ was where you were Logan. If you'd been on the couch I'd be in the living room right now." She said it before she'd fully thought about it, before she thought about the consequences of saying it.

"Why?" His voice did cracked this time, the burst of hope in his chest nearly strangling him.

"Because you've become this person that I go to. This person that I trust." With that she flew at him, her lips crushing his, bruising his and her own in the process.

His arms wrapped around her waist and rolled her underneath him, pressing her to the mattress and to him. He pulled back and kissed her chin, then trailed kisses down her throat before moving his mouth back to hers. She gasped and let his tongue slide inside as she hooked one leg behind his knees and wrapped her arms around his neck and shoulders.

Logan's hands gripped her waist for a second, then slid up to her breasts before trailing back down to her stomach. His thumbs rubbed circular patterns for a moment and then they were running up her back and cupping her shoulders, diving into her hair. They gripped at her hips and hitched her leg higher. One ran down to her ankle where he squeezed. In the end one hand was at the small of her back, pressing her body closer. And one was in her hair, holding her head in place.

He rolled over on his back and detached his lips from hers, a wide grin growing wider on his face.

"Seriously though, you just broke up with Casey. You dated him for almost a year, are you sure this isn't a rebound thing? Because I don't think I could handle that. Because it'd be easy to rebound here. We're roommates and we have a history." His voice hitched at the possibility that this wasn't a him and her thing. That this could be a comfort thing. He'd take it though, he just dreaded the thought that she might regret this in the end.

"We've always been more than roommates. And I never wanted Casey the way I want you. Never cared about him the way I do about you." Veronica slid from above him to his side, cuddled in. She kissed his chest and continued, "You've always been what I wanted in the end Logan, and you're what I want now."

His arms tightened around her as she snuggled in deeper, closing her eyes and drifting off to sleep with her head laying in the crook of his shoulder. He let his head fall back and his muscles relax.

The rest would have to wait till morning.

* * *

The morning light drifted across the bed and Logan woke up to find himself alone. The panic made his heart skip a beat. She wasn't in bed with him. Either it had been a particularly vivid dream or she was already regretting it. Maybe she had been drunk, after all she'd gotten in at three or four that morning.

Logan swung back the covers at the same instant that his bedroom door flew open. There she stood, wearing a tiny tank top and itty-bitty shorts, hair mussed and holding two cups of steaming coffee. But it was the joyous grin on her face that eased his anxiety, that made a smile of his own slip onto his face.

"What are you looking so relieved about mister? I made the coffee and as you always put it, that's a dangerous offer." Her voice was musical this morning. Sounding like she'd slept well, and with a glance to the clock he understood why. It was three in the afternoon.

"How is it that I slept about fourteen hours?" Logan went to stand and retrieve his coffee only to be shoved back down on to the bed and given his cup. Holding her own she settled herself over him, straddling his lap. This was something he could really get used to every morning. She was living with him now so there'd be none of her running back to her dad's place. And her dad wouldn't be harming him anytime soon since they'd been living like this for almost a year now.

"I don't know, but it was about ten for me, and the best I've slept in months. In fact, I usually get a maximum of five hours so…" Veronica stretched out her neck so her lips could meet his. She'd been up for an hour and was getting antsy for him to finally wake up. She had so many things she wanted to do with him today. And number was this.

Logan set their coffee mugs aside without breaking off the kiss, nearly missing the table and dropping her cup when her fingers began a slow tease of his nipples. He jumped at the sensation and felt her smile against his mouth. He only prepared himself for a moment before he gripped her hips and flipped her onto her back.

It was so quick she hadn't expected it. He'd always been like that, quick and unpredictable… like some kind of wild animal. It had scared her in high school, and terrified her freshman year, even though she'd been attracted to it—and him—all the while. Now it was amazing, and she couldn't get enough of it.

His mouth trailed kisses down her throat like the night before, but this time he didn't stop when he got to hollow at the base. He kept going, peppering happy kisses across the tops of her breasts. In an attempt to free his targets he reached down and gave the bottom hem of her tank top a firm tug. Her breasts popped out of the top and she laughed at as he grinned.

"Boobs!" He yelled it like the decree of a thirteen year old boy who had just seen his first pair. His adorably juvenile mood was contagious and she couldn't help but giggle in response. Instead of going to work on the newly exposed skin, gripped the hem again and tugged it upwards and over her head. She saw the brief flash of pink as he did a little stripper twirl and tossed in the direction of his dresser. He missed by a mile and it landed on a lamp, knocking it to the floor.

"You're such a dork." She said jovially, rolling her eyes in mock annoyance that was forgotten as his mouth latched on one nipple. "Mmmm…"

He was working off her panties before she even noticed he had gotten her shorts off. The white cotton slipped by her knees, past her ankles and over her feet with a speed she didn't think possible.

"Your turn." She bucked her hips against him and flipped him on his back. He laughed and wiggled his hips, folding his arms behind his head.

"I like this view, it's a good one." He looked up at her, hovering over his body completely naked. She sat back on her heels, hands on her hips and arched an eyebrow at him.

Logan smirked and lifted his hips up against her, pressing his more than obvious erection into her.

Smiling she bit her lip and bent to divest him of his boxers. She grabbed hold of the band, slipping her fingers just inside and brushing his hips with them. His eyes shut and his smirk faded into a soft smile.

The knock at the front door echoed like a shot through the bedroom. The looked at each other and sighed, Veronica's head hanging low in disappointment.

She stood and he groaned while she picked up her discarded clothes and pulled them back on. She left off her underwear and smiled at him as she tucked them into his own underwear drawer.

"Coming?" She whispered as she leaned down and pecked him on the lips.

"I thought I would, but alas… no." He said it in an overly-dramatic tone as he lifted himself from the bed and grabbed his sweats off the floor.

"Do you think they'll notice?" Logan gestured down at the front of his pants, his erection still obvious. She smiled and shook her head the negative, inwardly praying it wasn't her father.


	6. The Lines That Cross PART B

**Title:** Symmetry 4b: The Lines that Cross

**Pairings/Characters:** Logan/Veronica, _(mentions of: Veronica/Casey, Logan/OFC, Keith/OFC, Wallace/OFC, Piz/OFC, Mac/Dick)_

**Rating:** NC-17 (for language and sex)

**Spoilers/Warnings:** Everything to 3.17 (Debasement Tapes), especially Season 1

Future Fic

**Disclaimer:** None of it's mine, and if it was it would all be going different right now. So don't sue, because I have nothing and it'd be a waste of both our time. The Song is _I'm Going to Stop Pretending I Didn't Break Your Heart_ by Eels

**A/N:** The POV changes through out the story between Veronica's POV and Logan's POV.

**A/N:** I split this up between when they weren't together and when they were. It was a little longer than I planned, but oh well, I think it turned out okay.

* * *

Symmetry

4b

The Lines That Cross

Casey.

It had been Casey's eyes that Veronica looked into when she and Logan finally made it to the door. She knew how they must look, hair mussed from rolling around in bed and clothes rumpled beyond denial. She prayed he wouldn't make a big deal of this, that he would show the same casualness he had displayed all those months of her living with Logan. She wanted to stay in their blissful, reunited reality for a little while longer and she couldn't do that if Casey threw a fit.

"So how long has this been going on behind my back?" His voice was bitter and hurt.

"Casey—" She tried to stop him but he interrupted, hell bent on destroying her happy mood.

"I mean, I've always known that Logan was pining after you. Just waiting to pounce, but I didn't think that you would just jump right in the sack with him. With all your talk of the two of you being just friends, just really good friends I didn't know you meant _really_ good friends." He paused for a breath and to shoot a glare at Logan, who had started to open his mouth to say something. "Did Kylie know about the two of you? Is that why you only lasted a month Logan? Is that why _none_ of your relationships worked out past a couple of weeks?

"I should have known something was wrong with this picture. After all, if you're not dating you're at each other's throats. You don't get along unless you're screwing and you've been getting along pretty well this last year. It should have—"

"Hey!" Logan cut Casey's rant short, unable to take his snide remarks on their relationship any longer. "That's enough. She didn't fuck around on you with me, or with anyone else for that matter. And the last year has been nothing but friendship, and I haven't been fucking pining away for her. It's none of your damn business why none of _my_ relationships worked out. And we haven't _jumped in the sack_ since Freshman year, so shut the fuck up."

Logan's fists were clenched at his side and his chest was heaving. His face was flushed with anger and Veronica had the distinct feeling that if she didn't get Casey out of here she'd be making a trip to the hospital with one or both of them.

"Logan? Will you grab that box for me? It's a little heavier than I can lift." She made the request with a soft voice. He glanced at her before he headed for the living room. She only had a few moments to make this clear to Casey without Logan hearing.

"Don't ruin your good boyfriend record now Case, it'd be such a shame since I intended to look back on our time fondly. Logan and I are none of your business now, but when I was with you I was _with you_. I don't cheat. You'd know that if you knew me at all. And you shouldn't be with someone you don't know. Logan knows me, knows how to be with me and not want me to be someone else. Something else. Everything seemed easy with you Casey, but I've spent the last ten months not being able to really relax into who I am. And I can't do that anymore. I have to be with someone I can _be_ with."

Logan shoved the box at Casey without letting him cross the threshold into the house. Veronica didn't know how long he'd been there or how much he'd heard, but she was a little nervous as Logan and Casey shared a harsher glare than before. She should have noticed when Casey stopped focusing on _her_ and started focusing on her what was _behind_ her. Dammit.

"Later Gant." Logan said it with a smug voice and swung the door shut. He'd heard, probably a good majority of her speech. There'd be no living with him now.

She probably should be angry with Logan for the cocky way he'd just dismissed Casey. The arrogant and possessive display would normally piss her off, but he'd cut off whatever Casey had been opening his mouth to say and for that she was glad.

"Exactly how much of that did you hear?" She refused to turn around and look at him, to acknowledge his smug attitude.

"I came in at your declaration of the fact that you." His hands settled at her hips to spin her. "Don't." He gave her a little push until her back hit the door gently. "Cheat." He fastened his lips to her neck, just beneath her ear. A spot they both seemed to enjoy. He pulled back a little and let his tongue run around the outer rim of her ear.

"I could never want you to be someone else. Not when I want who you _are_ so much." Logan whispered the words into her ear as he reached down and pulled off her shorts, pleased when he remembered that she hadn't put her underwear back on.

He pulled off her top next and then dropped his sweats and boxers, letting them collect around his ankles. It was then he looked into her eyes. He saw the tears pooling in them, noticed the tender look on her face as he hitched her legs up onto his hips.

Veronica wrapped her legs around his waist and commanded herself not to cry. She would not be that mushy girl that cried before, during or after sex. Pulling her bottom lip in between her teeth as he slid into her she inhaled sharply.

Logan expelled a breath and pushed her harder into the door, pulling out and thrusting back in. This time he got a stuttered gasp out of her, followed by a tiny whimper.

Her eyes shut as she pressed her lips to the crook of his neck, making him shudder as he pushed in again, picking up his speed. Her moan was soft.

Logan thrust harder and faster, shifting his grip from her hips to her thighs, pulling her towards him every time he drove into her. He was trying to keep a steady pace, measured thrusts, but it'd been so long since he felt like this, since he'd felt the exhilaration he felt when he was with someone he loved. So long since he'd been with the girl he loved. His heart felt like it was going to beat right out of his chest and his lungs burned from the exertion. His legs ached with the weight of holding the both of them up while being so tense. His back stung a little where her nails dug in, and a little more when she dragged them forward and didn't ease up off the pressure.

"Oh God, Logan!"

That made any little bit of pain worth it, turned it into pleasure. That made the experience that much better.

Satisfied that she'd called out his name, that she was completely invested in their current activity, he captured her mouth in a rough, passionate kiss. His tongue thrust in and ran along the roof of her mouth before hers pushed against it. They were locked in together in every intimate way possible.

Logan felt the tremors in start in her, the same tremors that made his knees start to really weaken. She hit her orgasm sooner than he expected, and her tightening around him combined with her screaming his name sent him over the edge a lot harder than he anticipated.

"Veroni—"

With one last awkward thrust he drove into her and came, letting out a raw shout, unable to finish her name. In that same instant his knees finally gave out, and they slipped to the floor.

Logan laid back on the cool tile of the foyer, bringing Veronica down with him. She was still wrapped tightly in his arms and sighed as she snuggled her face into his neck. She didn't move off of him, to his side. She stayed straddling him and the vision she made started a new feeling of arousal low in his stomach.

He kissed her shoulder reverently. She slid to his side, and cuddled into it now. Looking up at him Veronica stretched to kiss him gently.

"It's better than I remember. Or maybe it's better because I remember, but I feel like I just literally exploded." Her voice was raspy the way it always was after sex and it was probably the sexiest thing he'd ever heard.

"I know what you mean. I feel like I'm boneless. Like I just took, like, fifty muscle relaxers and can't move."

They laid there for another hour before he scooped her up and carried her to the couch after feeling her shiver. They made love slowly there, and softly they fell asleep.

* * *

Things got serious right away. She moved out of her bedroom and into his. She cooked Thanksgiving dinner at their house in November and invited their friends and her dad. The guys had watched football while Mac had sat in the kitchen tying to talk Veronica into making a Tofurkey instead.

Things had gone well until her dad had headed home. Dick took the opportunity to break out the beer and make rude comments to her. Logan was on the verge blowing up when Mac stepped in. She drug him out to her car by his ear and told Veronica that she'd bring him by to pick up his car in the morning. Or she'd make him take a cab. Which ever worked without her having to speak to him in the morning.

In December Veronica went crazy decorating the house. There were times that Logan got a little scared at her enthusiasm for tinsel and garland. He drew the line when she tried to make him string cranberries and popcorn while watching _It's A Wonderful Life_. But when her lip quivered and she mumbled something about doing it by herself he gave in. He lasted all of fifteen minutes before he had to just sit there and watch the movie, band-aids wrapped around six of his ten fingers.

They'd had a small get together at their apartment Christmas Eve and then ended up sleeping on the hide-a-bed couch at Keith's apartment. They'd opened presents the next morning and then Veronica and him drove home so she could start cooking another meal. She had almost everything but the mashed potatoes and cranberries done by time Wallace and Piz showed up at four.

Wallace's mom and little brother had gone to Alicia's mother's for a week and a half and Wallace had opted to stay in Neptune. Piz couldn't get the time off to go up to Beaverton. Mac couldn't stand the idea of staying with her family all day and agreed to come if Veronica made something vegan friendly too. Dick had no where else go, no other family so he promised to behave himself in order to get an invite. Keith was bringing his girlfriend of six months, Kate. She was a pretty redhead with hair just below her shoulders and green eyes, just a little taller than Veronica was. Veronica hated her, but pretended to like her for her dad.

It was the best Christmas Logan had ever had, the most loving. He nearly cried when Veronica gave him the engraved watch that night.

"One last present, to end the day." She had said as she pulled the small package wrapped in a jade green paper, a shiny silver bow nearly engulfing it's size out from a drawer next to her side of the bed.

He'd ripped into it with an excitement that rivaled the one he'd had that morning. But halted his movements when he opened the box. The shiny watch looked expensive, more expensive than anything he'd ever gotten from her before. And his heart nearly leapt out of his chest when he read what she had engraved on the back.

Trust. Need. Love. Hero.

Four words that would forever be branded into his mind. He couldn't believe how far they'd come since their Freshman year, since high school. Apparently time really did heal all wounds and all the crap he'd thought was bullshit when people had said it to him.

He paid extra attention to the third word. Love. It was the closest she'd ever come to actually saying the words. The first time he said he loved her before Senior year of high school she'd made a joke, playing it off. When he'd said it to her again three years ago they'd been arguing. She just agreed that she felt the same way instead of actually saying the words. And when he said it now she either said "me too" or she kissed him.

That third word was his favorite gift.

* * *

They had another party New Year's Eve, but this time Keith was not invited. Mac had convinced Parker to come with her. They'd decided to get an apartment together at the beginning of the new year. Mac's lease was up and Parker's current roommate wanted to move out, but needed someone to take over her part of the lease. Parker jumped at the chance of living with Mac again. She complained that her present roommate was she was too perky. The irony was not lost on them.

Mac told Parker that she had to get over her issues with Veronica and Logan, because they were going to be around. Parker agreed, as long as she found a guy at the party tonight.

Piz brought a girl that he'd met in one of his classes. He'd called earlier, before the party to ask Veronica to not mention that they had dated. He hadn't told Ashley that it was an ex-girlfriend's party and didn't want her to get upset.

Wallace brought a girl too, a petite little brunette with brown eyes named Cassie. Logan made a joke about Wallace being drawn to the petite girls. Cassie countered it with the sarcastic observation that Logan seemed to be drawn to them as well.

By ten there were at least fifty people in the house, most of them tipsy, some of them drunk and two passed out on lounge chairs on the back porch. Parker had actually had a conversation with Veronica and thanked her for the invite. She was having more fun than she'd had in a while.

At eleven Veronica had passed by the guestroom and seen Dick on top of some brunette. When she'd gone in to yell at him for "defiling her old room" she'd frozen in shock. He was on top of Mac who didn't _seem_ to be unconscious. In fact, she seemed to be an active participant in their goings-on. Veronica backed out of the room and shut the door silently. They were probably drunk and would regret it in the morning. But Mac would be even more mortified if she knew that Veronica or the any of the others knew about it. And if they weren't drunk they'd have to explain it sometime.

At five to twelve everyone was in the living room, filling their little plastic champagne flutes with champagne and waiting for the countdown. Mac and Dick were tucked away in a corner, looking like they were practicing for the moment the ball dropped. Parker was talking excitedly to a group of guys who looked like they were going to be fighting over who got to kiss her at midnight. Piz was sitting at a table talking animatedly to Ashley, who looked completely enthralled in whatever it was he was saying. And Veronica had to look away when she saw Wallace making out with Cassie on the couch.

Logan wouldn't stray more than two feet away from her until the ball dropped, too afraid to miss his midnight kiss. And when the countdown started he wrapped his arms around her waist and mouthed the words from ten to one.

"Happy New Year!" The collective shout was drowned out as Logan crushed his mouth to hers. The rest of the world faded away as the kiss went on.

"Happy new year, baby." He whispered when he finally pulled away, pressing his forehead to hers.

Veronica grinned up at him as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and hugged him.

"Happy new year." She whispered it back, her grin faded when she looked off to the side and saw another familiar face.

Duncan Kane stood in the middle of their living room.

* * *

It took about forty-five minutes to get everyone out of the house. Duncan was settling into the guestroom as Logan and Veronica saw their guests out.

Veronica overheard Dick tell Mac he'd call her around ten so they could get brunch. Parker asked who Duncan was and Mac said she'd tell her in the car. Piz didn't even get the chance to ask before Wallace cut him off, saying he'd explain another time.

It was one-thirty by time they got Dick to leave, the last party guest. Logan was exhausted and wanted to go to bed, leave the clean up for the morning.

"I thought you were hiring a maid service to clean it up while we're gone." Veronica looked around the house. It was the first time they'd had a party like this and it was the first time it had gotten this trashed. There was no way she wanted to clean this up in the morning.

"I didn't mean that clean up. I meant the Duncan mess, we'll clean it up, talk it out, it the morning." He was already shuffling off to the room he'd directed Duncan to during their brief conversation earlier. Veronica watched him poke his head and tell Duncan that they were going to bed.

She heard the low mumble of Duncan's voice and then Logan stepped further into the room, his hand still visible on the door knob. He was only in there a moment, but it was a moment that sent Veronica into a panic for some reason. He came right back out, followed by Duncan who stayed standing in the doorway.

Logan wrapped an arm around her when he reached her. She turned and laid her head on his shoulder as they walked the seven feet to their own bedroom door and went in.

* * *

Veronica woke up with Logan on top of her, kissing her neck. Smiling she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and sighed.

"First time this year, we should let it take a while." She said, moaning a little as he took her earlobe into his mouth and tugged. "Like all day."

She felt him grin against her as he went back to her neck. He was already starting to work her top off and her legs had wrapped around his hips. _When had that happened?_ Suddenly Logan pulled back, a confused look on his face.

She looked up at him, rather confused herself. She lifted up off the bed in an attempt to kiss him but fell back again when she heard it too.

"Do you hear somebody talking?" Logan asked, his brow furrowed and looking more than a little annoyed now. "Did someone not leave last night?"

"Duncan."

Logan rolled off Veronica, apparently he would not be getting laid this morning. He hadn't really forgotten about his best friend of yester years being in the other room. He'd just hoped he could ignore it for a while longer.

"We should get up then, maybe go out for breakfast or something." Veronica got out of bed and reached for her dresser. Logan got out of bed as well.

The both pulled on jeans, staring at each other. They had been planning a trip up to Napa, a romantic little excursion that Logan had suggested at Christmas. Something to help them relax before they started their final semester of college. As Veronica pulled on a T-shirt with a shrimp and the words "I ain't no shrimp" emblazoned on it, she realized they probably weren't going to be able to go now. She'd really been looking forward to it.

"So maybe we should figure something out with Duncan. Like he can watch the house instead of Wallace while we're gone this week?" Logan was afraid she was going to cancel their trip. He had plans for that trip, devious plans that her father would kill him for. They weren't going to be able to relax for the next four and half months, finishing up college and preparing for graduation and life afterwards. He just needed a little time for it to be the two of them.

"That sounds like a great a idea, we should ask at breakfast. If he's in town it must mean the charges were dropped. Otherwise he'd already have been arrested." Veronica pulled off her shirt, she couldn't talk seriously to Duncan while wearing a shrimp on her chest.

"Decide that we should stay in bed after all?" Logan reached for the hem of his own shirt as she reached for another shirt.

"No. Just decided on a less comedic look." She pulled on the hot pink tank top, a boy-beater. Logan rolled his eyes and waited for the inevitable remark. The one she said every time she wore that shirt.

"Wanna wear you're wife-beater and we can pretend to be Britney and Kevin part deux?" She waggled her eyebrows as she approached him, going up on her tip toes to kiss him.

"Pass. I like my green one, but I'll wear matching trucker hats with you later if you want." She giggled and he kissed her back.

There was a knock on their bedroom door and they pulled apart.

"Guys? I was thinking about getting breakfast. You wanna come?" Duncan's voice came from the other side of the door, he sounded strained.

"Yeah, we were thinking the same thing." Veronica answered as she swung open the door. She slipped into her flip-flops and left the room.

Logan silently prayed that everything would be okay, that Duncan would screw with the happiness they'd found.

* * *

They'd gone to Napa and spent most of the time in bed. Duncan had stayed at the house, making sure Dick didn't sneak in and throw another party before they got back.

When they'd returned they found that Duncan had gotten Lilly back, who had been kept at the airport by child protective services. Jake and Celeste had finally taken care of the kidnapping charges and the Mannings. Duncan said that his parents lawyers had worked it out. Veronica suspected that there'd been an exchange of money.

Duncan settled into the guestroom for the time being. He was making arrangements with Neptune High to take the finals he'd missed in the classes he ditched after fleeing the country. Afterwards they agreed to give him a diploma instead of a GED, he'd be able to apply at Hearst after that. He planned to take an extra two courses every semester instead of just the regular four. If he could work it out to taking twenty credits per semester, and take summer classes, he should be able to graduate in two years, maybe two and half. It would be hard work and he'd have to hire a nanny to take care of Lilly, but he didn't want to be too far behind Logan and Veronica and the rest of his friends.

He wasn't looking for a house though, and that worried Logan.

"He can't stay here with a baby, Veronica. We can't have a _baby_ in the house." His voice hitched in panic. Valentine's Day was a week away and he'd wanted have the house to themselves so they could celebrate properly. It'd be their first one together. They'd been broken up by Valentine's Day freshman year, and he'd never got to be with her the way he'd wanted back then.

"She's four Logan, hardly a baby. Or so she's told me, a few times. And it's only been a month, he's been getting everything else lined up. Maybe a new house didn't occur to him yet. I'll talk to him if it makes you feel better, although I don't know why you can't do it yourself." She was being more indulgent with him than she normally would be. Normally she'd make him go ask Duncan himself instead of making her do it. But he'd been more nervous lately, and she could see that he was scared that Duncan was going to take her away again.

"It's better when you play the bad cop and I play the prisoner, remember?" his voice dropped low and seductive as he advanced on her.

"Well, we'll role-play that another day. How about I play you and go talk to your best friend. And you can pretend to be a maid and clean up your clothes on the floor in here." She slipped out of his arms and walked out of the bedroom.

* * *

Duncan finally moved out in March, right before Logan's St. Patrick's Day party. He moved into the next house over, placed to their right and still far too close for Logan's comfort. For some reason he'd expected him to move into something in a more 09er area, closer to where he'd grown up. But when he'd come in a week ago and announced that he'd bought the beach house next door Logan's stomach had dropped.

It was nearly the exact same floor plan as Logan and Veronica's house. And when Duncan asked Veronica to help him decorate it, he'd gotten a little sicker. He didn't know what Duncan was trying to do, but he didn't like it. Veronica and Logan had redecorated the house in their style last summer, made it really their place. And when they'd gotten back together in October she'd redone their bedroom and the guestroom.

It was a three bedroom house, but she'd let Logan turn the third room into a game room, where the X-Box and other consoles were permanently set-up. She said that as long as she didn't have to hear the beeping she didn't care if he played. And it made it that much more fun when Heather came over for their "game dates". She was thirteen now, and probably would stop coming soon. She liked to come over and hang out with him, Veronica would make cookies and play housewife. Heather would sit at the kitchen table and talk to Veronica about girlie stuff that Logan wasn't allowed to hear. She had her own big sister but she like to pretend that Veronica was her sister too.

Duncan would be turning the third room into the nanny's room. And Veronica had already agreed to help interview nannies. Veronica said it was just so she didn't have to babysit, but Logan had a sneaking suspicion that she'd gotten attached to Lilly. Sometimes when Duncan was gone and Lilly was home with Veronica Logan would come home and catch Veronica with her. Once he'd found her in Duncan's room leaning over her as she napped, staring at her face with concentration. He'd backed out of the doorway and gone through the house to slam the front door, let her know he was home. When he'd gone back through she'd been in the hall and promptly dragged him to the couch to make out, informing him that they were on Lilly duty for another hour.

They'd fought a few times about whether or not they were obligated to watch the four year old while Duncan was out making his life perfect again. Veronica always argued that he needed a little support from them, that'd he'd been all alone with Lilly for a long time. Logan's argument was that Duncan was taking advantage, pushing Lilly at them too much.

It wasn't that he didn't like the little girl. He thought she was cute, a sweet girl that would probably only get sweeter when she grew up. Like her mom. The problem was he could see how Duncan used her as a tool to convince Veronica to do things, swayed her to his side. Veronica didn't spend hang out with Wallace and Mac anymore unless they came to the house. Parker was coming over with Mac a lot and getting left behind when Dick came over and talked Mac into a movie. Logan saw how Parker leaned closer to Duncan, recognized her "flirt giggle". He was intimately familiar with all the signs of Parker's interest. He wasn't the least bit surprised when he'd overheard her asking Veronica if Duncan had ever mentioned her. If there was any way Veronica could ask him. Veronica's groan belied her agreement to do so, she hated playing love connection.

Logan couldn't help but wonder why Parker always seemed to go after the guys in Veronica's life. She'd liked Piz at first, asked Veronica to hook them up. Then she'd dated Logan. Then, the end of Sophomore year she finally started dating Piz. They didn't last much longer than she and Logan had, breaking up with him for still being hung up on Veronica. That'd been beginning of Junior year and he didn't think she'd seriously dated anyone since. He wondered if he should warn her against Duncan for that same reason. Duncan tried to hide it, and he seemed to be fooling everyone. Including Veronica. But it was obvious to Logan he still had a thing for her. After all, he did all the same things Logan himself had done when he'd seen Duncan with her Senior year of high school. Everything but the be really mean to her and call her a ho part. That was, in spite of everything, Logan's trademark pining move.

* * *

Veronica made another big dinner for Easter, inviting everyone over. Piz couldn't make it because him and Ashley were flying up to visit his parents. Keith and Kate had broken up a month earlier, much to Veronica's glee. She'd been even happier to find out that he'd gotten back together with Wallace's mom. Wallace would be there no matter what since his mom and brother would be there with Keith. Wallace said that Cassie would be coming later in the night, since she was having dinner with her parents. He told Veronica to make extra dessert, just in case.

Mac agreed to come if Dick was invited, even though she was making an appearance at both her parent's house and the Sinclairs. Mrs. Sinclair had called her during Sophomore year and they'd started having weekly lunches together. This would be the first holiday that she'd been dropping by for, and Dick was going for emotional support. Though neither Veronica nor Logan could figure out how that worked. Still, Mac promised to get pictures of Madison's face when she showed up. Veronica still had the camera-phone-photo of her face when they'd sat down and informed Madison that she was not, in fact, a real 09er.

Parker decided to attend due to the fact that she refused to go home to her parents. She'd been reluctant at first, thinking that it was just family, but agreed when Mac said she was going. She'd been even more excited when Veronica had agreed to Parker coming over early to help cook. She'd gushed when she'd gotten there at ten that morning. Saying something about the group being like a real family, coming together for holiday dinners. Veronica just rolled her eyes and handed her a potato peeler.

Duncan had been the last to arrive, and when Parker had seen him arrive she'd rushed right over and lifted Lilly out of his arms. Duncan gladly handed her off and went to the kitchen to steal food. Logan was feeling at ease for the first time since Duncan had shown up on New Year's.

After dinner Duncan had taken Parker out back, sitting on the back porch for nearly fifteen minutes. Logan had thought that maybe Duncan was interested after all. He hadn't acted like he was interested in her, but Logan hadn't been until it'd been thrust upon him. Until he truly thought things were over with Veronica.

But Parker came in after that fifteen minutes and asked Mac for her keys. Mac handed them over saying Dick would drive her home.

Duncan stayed out there a few more minutes before he came back in. Everyone looked at him expectantly but it was Veronica he ushered into the kitchen for a private talk. They'd come back out a scant ten minutes later, but to Logan it had felt longer. He was back to feeling tense again and had to restrain himself from going in there at least three times. When they came back though, he mentioned Lilly's bedtime and then left.

Keith and Alicia left a little while after Parker and Duncan, taking Darryl with them. Mac yawned loudly a few times, but it was when her eyes started drifting shut that Dick picked her up and took her to his car. Wallace and Cassie were already half way to their own cars before Dick's tail-lights had disappeared. They had the apartment all to themselves for another night and wanted to take advantage.

Going back into the house, Logan finally asked the question he'd been dying to ask for the last hour.

"What happened between Duncan and Parker?"

"Duncan said he tried to let her down gently. Told her that he couldn't be in a relationship right now. That he had to focus on Lilly and his future, their future." Veronica was walking in front of him, stretching. He could tell she was tired and wanted to go to bed, but he didn't want to let this go yet.

"Why?"

"Probably because he doesn't want a relationship right now and wants to focus on Lilly and the future." Veronica's voice was annoyed now. "God Logan."

"Wouldn't finding somebody to be in a relationship with be including in the 'focusing on the future' thing? Most people see relationships in their futures, and I _know _that Duncan isn't the 'I never wanna get married' type. He's a relationship guy." Logan needed to know, _had_ to know what Duncan's end-game was. Things were getting risky with Veronica, their relationship was on shaky ground with Duncan _always_ there.

"I don't know Logan. Maybe he sees a relationship in the future, just not with Parker. It's too bad though, Parker does seem like Duncan's type."

"Why does she seem like Duncan's type? Because she was my type?"

"What? That's not what I meant. You and Duncan have the same physical type, yeah. But when it comes to the emotional stuff it's different." Veronica sounded pissed off now. Pissed and defensive.

"You know why he's not interested in her right?" Veronica raised an eyebrow at him, daring him to continue. "He's still in love with you. He's in love with you and you either don't see it or pretend not to see it."

"You're being stupid and insecure, Logan. Do you even hear yourself? Paranoid that your best friend is after your girlfriend." She had been sitting at the edge of the bed before, now she was standing next to their bathroom door. She had her arms crossed in front of her chest, one hip cocked and her right foot tapping. It was a pose she effected when she was getting really angry.

"Don't call me stupid, Veronica. I know what I'm saying and I know what I see him doing. He's around all the time, just like he was that summer, stalking you at work. Now he's stalking you at home and using Lilly to help him out. You look at Lilly and you see _our _Lilly. You see Meg. You lost them both and now you feel like you've gotten them back in a way. She's your weak spot and he knows it."

Logan was staring her down now, wouldn't compromise this time. Wouldn't let her keep pretending that Duncan was there as a just a friend and he wouldn't keep pretending it didn't bother him. He could see her thinking it over, looking at the facts. She usually had a hard time seeing the facts when they pertained to her. But when pointed out to her she could look back and see them more clearly. She could actually see them.

He saw the shift in her posture, slight but still visible. She was going to concede to his point this time. Let him win the fight.

"I didn't mean to call you stupid. And maybe I have kind of been looking at Lilly as a replacement for Meg and our Lilly. I miss them both I guess, and when I look at Lilly she's just… Sometimes when I babysit I watch her as she sleeps and try to find the Lilly parts and the Meg parts. I know she's Duncan's, but she seems more Meg's to me. And she looks so much like our Lilly it's a little scary sometimes." Veronica looked on the verge of tears, and when Logan held his arms open to her she rushed to him. Buried her face in his chest and sighed.

"I didn't see the way he was with me, didn't see it. I'm sorry." Logan held onto her tighter.

They'd get through Duncan this time. They had to.

* * *

The fight had started out small, seemingly harmless. But it grew to the point where Logan actually found himself banned from his own bedroom, restricted to the couch. He couldn't even remember what he had said to her, but he could remember the look on her face. The look that usually meant that she was going to be getting revenge soon. The look that said you were going to find a bong in your locker later.

They had been arguing a little more since the Easter fight almost a month ago. Veronica had stopped spending time with Duncan and slipped back into their old routine. They had less sex though. Logan noticed that change.

He hadn't expected to become the cliché, making a bed up on the couch after being kicked out of his own bed. He stood there staring at the couch and his pathetic little pillow and blanket. _Why wasn't he in the guestroom?_

It never occurred to him to go in there, but it seemed too permanent, like he didn't intend to come back. Too comfortable to be punishment for whatever it was that he said. What if Veronica changed her mind and came out to find him. If he was in the guestroom she wouldn't worry about him being uncomfortable and just let him sleep in there. So he crawled into his make-shift bed and stared up at the ceiling, trying to get into a comfortable position he knew didn't exist.

Like he'd be doing any sleeping anyway. It'd been so long since he slept alone that he wasn't sure he'd be able to. Usually he had Veronica's tiny little body curled into his, or he was spooned up behind her. He always fell asleep with her in his arms and woke up the same way.

"Logan?" Her voice sounded so little and she looked contrite when she appeared in the doorway.

"Yeah?" He leaned his head to the side to get a better view of her. She looked nervous standing in the doorway. She'd never been nervous with him before. Not even in high school when they hated each other. It was just one more recent development that made him hate Duncan a little more.

"I don't want to sleep alone. Come back to bed." Her voice sounded more tired than she had been before, and when he looked at her slumped shoulders he realized how tired she'd been looking lately.

He'd been focused on school and graduation lately, but he hadn't realized how hard she was trying. She'd really been putting in an effort this time, really trying to be what he wanted. Cutting Duncan out was hard on her. It was hard on him too, but he couldn't be around him without wanting to hit him. Veronica was doing it for him and he could see how much it strained her. It was straining their relationship and tonight's fight proved it.

They'd been working out so well before Duncan came back, he didn't want to let that go. But something wasn't working now, and it had to do with Duncan. They never could find a way to be together when he was around. And it looked like they still couldn't. They couldn't seem to the flow of it.

Logan grabbed his pillow back up again and headed for the bedroom. He reached for Veronica, but she was just beyond his grasp, didn't let him catch her. His heart dropped at that. She really just didn't want to be alone. It had nothing to do with being without him.

He caught a glimpse of the watch she'd given him as he settled back into bed. It sat on his bedside table, shiny and mocking. Those words on the back might still be true, but he was feeling them less and less lately.

And that scared him.

* * *

She got accepted to the FBI academy two days before their graduation ceremony. Screamed when she'd read the letter and yelled for Logan. He didn't come. He'd gone surfing with Dick further up shore today. There was no one around to hear her news. She tried her dad's cell before she remembered his no contact rule for the time being. He and Alicia were staying at a hotel in San Diego and were incommunicado until Saturday when they returned for graduation. Wallace and Cassie had a whole romantic day planned. Mac was with Parker in LA, shopping for the perfect graduation dress. But she could see Duncan in his yard. He was home.

"Duncan!" She yelled from the back porch, getting his attention as she ran down the steps and across to his fence.

"Hey! It's been a while. Guess you've been busy with finals and stuff huh?" he was looking at her expectantly. That's when she knew he knew what was really going on. He knew that she had been avoiding him for Logan.

"Yeah, it's been pretty hectic. In fact, this is the first time Logan's been able to go surfing with Dick since it got warm enough." She dug pulled the letter out of her back pocket, holding it up like a trophy. "I probably should have told Logan about this first, but I was just so excited and I can't get him on his cell. I had to tell someone."

Duncan reached for the letter as she pushed it forward, their hands brushed. They covered hers and held on a moment too long before he finally took the piece of paper. He unfolded it quickly and read over it. He smiled as his eyes darted back and forth over the paper.

"You're going to be a fed huh? Congrats!" He looked up at her with that awe she had once wanted from Piz. But this time she just wanted the look of knowing she'd always get in, the look Logan would give her.

"Yep. Those commercials about the government wanting _you_, they were aimed at me. Uncle Sam wants me, and he wants to train me." She joked lightly, a cold feeling in her stomach at the realization of what she was doing. Logan was going to be excited for her, and as long as he never found out she'd told Duncan first he wouldn't be upset. He was still so sensitive about the Duncan issue. She couldn't figure out how to prove to him that she didn't want Duncan. He just seemed so insecure about it.

The phone was ringing back in the house.

"That's our phone. Nobody ever calls it unless they've already called the cell…" She backed away and waved goodbye.

It was Mac and Parker. They'd been deep in conversation and locked the car keys in the trunk. Mac didn't want to call anyone because she hadn't renewed Triple A on her insurance yet. So Veronica grabbed her keys and drove to their apartment first. It was a good thing she had a key so she could get Mac's spare car key.

She called and left Logan a voicemail. "Hey baby, I have to run up to LA and meet Parker and Mac. They locked the keys in the car. I probably won't be back until late because we'll probably get dinner before heading back. I'll call you if I'm going to be any later than ten."

With that she hung up and headed out of town.

* * *

Logan walked up the steps of the back porch, propping his surf board up against the house. He was hungry and Veronica wasn't going to be home for dinner, so apparently it was pizza night.

"Hey Logan."

He looked up to find Duncan standing at his fence, waving a little. He considered just waving back and going into the house. But he hadn't talked to Duncan in a while, and maybe things were better now. Maybe Logan had been overreacting. He walked over to lean against Duncan's fence.

"Hey man, how's it going?" He tried to ignore how awkward this was. He knew Duncan was aware of the reason why they weren't hanging out.

They made small talk for a while. Chatting about Lilly and finals and whether or not Logan was going to be able to take a job seriously.

"So are you going to follow Veronica to training? Or are you going to stay here? After all, it's only four months." Duncan said it casually, but Logan could hear something else in his voice. Something quite similar to arrogance.

"What are you talking about? Training?" Logan asked, thoroughly confused by Duncan's questions. _What was he talking about, four months?_

"She got into the FBI academy, she's going to be training in Virginia for four months." Duncan said it so matter-of-factly that Logan couldn't argue it. Couldn't deny that it was most likely the truth. He couldn't be lying, he was too confident.

"I didn't… She didn't tell me." Logan tried not to let the hurt and disappointment seep into his voice. She hadn't come to him first and that hurt. Hurt like she'd taken a knife to his gut. An ashtray to his head.

"Oh, well. Maybe she was just so excited, I mean she did just tell me today. But I figured she would have told you first." Duncan said it as he looked back at his own house. "I think I hear Lilly. If you want to wait a minute…"

Logan shook his head, told him to go and that he'd seem him later. His head felt like it was spinning, he felt like he was going to throw up. She'd gone to Duncan and told him first. She'd been waiting to hear back on her application for a month now, and she'd gone to Duncan first instead of waiting for him to get home.

Duncan had been first, like always.

* * *

She found him sitting on the couch. No television, no stereo, no iPod. Just sitting there in the quiet with only one lamp in the corner on.

"Hey, what's going on?" She asked him in a slightly scared voice. He was always melodramatic, but this was a little more dramatic than a bad surf day usually warranted.

"You got into the Academy." He said it as a statement, no question about it. He knew it for a fact.

"How'd you know? I didn't leave the letter, it's in my purse…" When realization dawned on her it felt like she'd been punched in the face.

"Duncan." The one word that always seemed to come between them.

They'd been able to get through everything else. Destroyed lives, murder accusations, rape, arson, abandonment, adultery, drunken decisions, Madison, slaps… Their past problems read like a list of sins. But it was his former best friend that did them in.

Veronica opened her mouth, but he cut her off.

"I'm going to stay in the guestroom tonight. When I get back." He said the words as he stood from the couch.

"Where are you going?" Her voice was panicked and he could hear the tears coming. Felt them welling up in his own eyes.

"Out."

* * *

He got back at one thirty, roughly four and a half hours after he left and smelling of tequila. A black eye was forming and his lip was fat and bleeding.

"What happened?" Veronica asked as she rushed towards him. She'd been waiting up on the couch. Her hands were on his face in an instant, but he jerk away from her.

"Got drunk. Got in a fight. What does it look like?" He tried not to let his voice be so harsh, tried not to be so angry with her. He was hurting and it was her fault. He'd hoped that they wouldn't hurt each other this time, that they were done with that. But it seemed they couldn't get away from it, they'd always hurt each other.

"A fight with who? Where _were_ you?" She followed him down the hall to the guestroom.

"Duncan's." With that he shut the door to the room, leaving her out in the hall. She stood there for a moment, until she heard the click of the lock.

* * *

He didn't emerge until around one the next afternoon. Nursing a hangover and the achy body one felt when they were in a fight that had him rolling around on the floor. He could have been up at eleven, but instead he'd lain in bed and remembered all the things Duncan had said to him last night. The words that had lead to the first punch.

* * *

_Flashback_

"When did you stop being my best friend?" Logan asked from the front door. It was late, but Duncan was still up, reading on the couch.

"What?" He knew he should've locked the door, but he usually didn't do it until he went to bed. Now he wished he'd locked the door after Lizzie had picked Lilly up. Then nanny was gone for a couple days since Lilly wasn't going to be there.

"I said, when did you stop being my best friend? It wasn't when you found out about me in Veronica. We were barely speaking, even then. Was it when Lilly died? Or was it before then? We'd been best friends since summer camp when we were eight, I can remember that clearly. When it started. I just can't remember when it ended, so I was hoping you could fill me in."

"It ended when you got drunk and told me that you wanted her. That you'd wanted to ask her out instead of Lilly. But she'd been too perfect for you, she'd never say yes so you asked Lilly instead. We were fourteen, maybe fifteen. I can't remember, but it was about a month into my relationship with Veronica." Duncan answered without hesitation.

"So you just stopped? You stopped being my friend because I got drunk and stupid?" Logan was floored by the realization that the person he'd thought of as a brother had written him off so long ago.

"No I stopped because you got drunk and _honest_. It was only a matter of time before you made a play for her, before you and Lilly's relationship imploded completely and you set your sights on Veronica again." Duncan was still bitter about it, he could still remember the feeling of hearing that his best friend wanted his girlfriend.

"So you just shut down on me? Over something that might never have happened?" Logan shook his head in disbelief.

"It did happen though. And now you're living with her and thinking that you're what? Going to be together forever? That you're not holding her back? You think you never ask her to be anyone but herself. But in the past month you've basically forbidden her to talk to me. And she did it for you, she's become the girl you wanted back then. Docile and obedient. Good job." Duncan's comments were malicious and spiteful. And they hit there mark.

Logan felt the words hit him. It felt like shards of broken glass being lodged into his heart, a sharp pain. And he did what he always did when attacked like this. He pulled his right arm back, made a fist and launched it at Duncan's face.

He hit him in the side of the face, connecting with his cheekbone.

Duncan stumbled back before launching at him, knocking him to the floor.

_End of Flashback_

* * *

Veronica was waiting in the kitchen, looking like she hadn't slept at all. 

"Afternoon." She said it apologetically, reaching out for him. He dodged her arms and went for the coffee.

"This isn't working. Not anymore, and you'll be gone soon. For four months. I was thinking I'd shut down the house, lock it up and travel a bit before I settled down in a career." He was rushing through the words he'd practiced in his head last night before she'd gotten home. "It'll be good for the both of us. Get some distance."

"I don't want distance." She said it pleadingly, tears already falling.

"I think we need it. _I_ need it. Maybe were never supposed to last past college. Maybe we weren't even supposed to make it after high school. But I can't stay with you, wondering if you should be with Duncan, if you'd rather be with him. I love you, always will. I just can't be with you. I have to stop being _in_ love with you."

He felt like he was choking. The words were literally choking him and he couldn't breathe. This was the last thing he'd ever wanted. He needed her, always had and probably always will. But he needed to stop feeling like he wasn't enough, and he needed to stop feeling this way. Needed to stop hurting.

"Is that really how you feel? Are you sure? Because there's no more school after this. And when I leave for training and you go wherever it is that you're going to go we won't see each other. When you get arrested for drunk and disorderly my dad won't be there to call me. So, are you sure?" Her voice broke over the words several times, and she barely got it all out. She couldn't look at him now, couldn't see the decision in his eyes. If he walked away now, if that was his decision, she'd break. She fall apart completely if she saw that in his eyes.

"Yes, this is what I want. How I feel." He wanted to take the words back before he had even said them. It wasn't what he wanted, wasn't how he felt.

"Okay then." She turned and walked out of the kitchen and he had to grab onto the counter top in order to stop himself from going after her. He heard the jingle of her keys and the front door slam.

The sobs came quickly, and he leaned against the counter, head between his outstretched arms. She was gone. Even though he knew she'd be back tonight to sleep. She'd be back for her stuff. But she was gone.

* * *

Logan missed her the morning of graduation. She'd somehow snuck in without him knowing last night. He'd been asleep on the couch, waiting for her when he noticed the light under her door was on. When he'd gone to the door he found it locked. She didn't say anything when he tried to turn it, he assumed she was listening to her iPod.

He'd gone to his room to find the clothes she'd helped him pick out for graduation and a pair of boxers to sleep in. His toothbrush and couple other things he used in the morning were set on the dresser. He obviously wouldn't be getting into their bedroom in the morning.

He caught a glimpse of her before graduation and then again when her name was called and she received her diploma. He didn't stand and yell for her like he'd been planning on. He just sat there clapped while he watching their friends stand and her dad yell from the seats.

He looked for her in the crowd outside, but Dick kept pulling him away. Mac was glaring at him, he could see the disappointment on her face. Veronica must have gone over to Mac and Parker's place yesterday.

His theory was confirmed when he caught the glare Parker was giving him. She was standing next to Cassie, not paying attention to what the little brunette was saying.

He avoided going home afterwards, but refused to go to any parties. Dick was a little more considerate of this break-up than he had been Freshman year. He'd grown up a lot this last year, and that probably had something to do with Mac.

When Logan walked into the house that night he felt it immediately. She was gone. Completely gone.

He ran to their bedroom. _His_ bedroom. Her side of the bed was cleared off. Her dresser drawers were open slightly and empty. Her side of the bathroom counter looked so bare it made his heart clench even tighter. And there, in the center of the bed was her key.

She was really gone.

_But I know what I have done_

**A/N:** There should be about 7 chapters in the end, they're all mapped out so it shouldn't be too long.


	7. Everything Youre Running From

**Title:** Symmetry 5: Everything You're Running From

**Pairings/Characters:** Veronica/OC, Logan/OC, Duncan/OC, Mac/Dick, slight Logan/Veronica _(mentions of: Keith/Alicia, Wallace/OFC, Piz/OC, Parker/OC)_

**Rating:** PG-13 (for slight language)

**Spoilers/Warnings:** Everything to 3.17 (Debasement Tapes), especially Season 1

Future Fic

**A/N:** In the last chapter I said there would be about 7 chapters, and that may or may not change... I haven't decided completely on a couple details that may cause there to be more.

* * *

Symmetry

5

Everything You're Running From

_And just like ships we float through each other's lives  
__Through the waters of beauty and grace  
__We will one day dock at the same port  
__And give rest to our weary legs_

She thought she'd have another two years. Two more years until she had to face the man she'd been avoiding for the last four. Maybe even longer than two years, because she still wasn't sure if she was going to attend the ten year reunion of a class she hated. The only reason she'd ever go would be to see her friends, to catch up. And she didn't have to go to a reunion to do that. She was still in contact with everyone from that time in her life that she'd ever want to catch up with. All but one.

Veronica tapped her pen against the marble counter top of the apartment she shared with her boyfriend of three years. Her fiancé of four months. Max didn't know these people and was actually excited to attend the weddings. She dreaded them already.

She had been excited when Mac had told her that Dick had finally proposed a year ago. They'd been together over four years now, shared a house and living expenses, practically married already. But Dick had gotten down on one knee and asked her to marry him properly, make an honest woman out of herself. Mac said yes and immediately started planning a low-key ceremony and reception. They'd be married at the Neptune Grand, and have the reception there as well. Even though the location was more elaborate than she wanted, she'd still managed to keep it unfussy, and gave it that funky style she'd had in high school.

Veronica had been even more excited when Mac had called and asked her to be the maid-of-honor, even though she wouldn't be able to make it back from New York for anything but the week before the wedding. To make up for the fact that Parker, pregnant and overly-giddy, was throwing the bridal shower, Veronica had planned a "kick ass" bachlorette party.

It'd been today, when she'd finally gotten the invitation along with the invitation to Duncan's wedding that it hit her. There was only one choice for best man. For both ceremonies. She'd called Duncan immediately, and when he'd answered she skipped over the pleasantries.

"Who's your best man?"

"Who do you think?" Duncan's voice was annoyed, she rarely called him anymore and he was already dealing with a unpleasant eight year old. He didn't need the added stress of dealing with an whiny twenty-six year old as well.

"Santa? He's always been good to you." She tried a joke, anything to keep this cold feeling of dread from pulling her under. There was no way she was going to be able to see Logan in less than a month.

"Veronica, you know damn well that it's Logan. I swear I mentioned this to you when we spoke last time. He was the obvious choice, I explained this." She could hear him struggling with something on the other end. He never explained this. He never told her about this at all.

"You never mentioned it. And why was he the obvious choice. The last I heard the two of you weren't speaking."

"Last you heard was four years ago when he barged into my house and started hitting me. I try not to talk about Logan to you, you were so hurt after the break up that I figured I shouldn't. Besides, he's out of your life and you're out of his. You're both engaged to other people now—"

"What?" She interrupted him then, unable to believe what he was saying.

"Oh yeah, Logan got engaged last week. Asked Nicole out of the blue, didn't even have a ring with him. They had to go to a jewelers and pick one out afterwards."

"Really?" She felt like she couldn't breathe. Like someone had come out of nowhere and punched her in the gut. _Engaged? How can he marry someone else?_

The same way she could. She'd accepted Max's proposal four months ago, but never really thought she'd ever actually marry him. She was still waiting for Logan to change his mind and come after her with one of those grand gestures of his. She was still waiting for him to love her again.

Now it seemed that it would never happen. He was gone.

Duncan went on, talking about how Logan and Nicole planned on a short engagement. Were planning a wedding for six months from now. He seemed happy with her, they were talking about children. Nicole wanted to live on the east coast and they were looking into houses in Maine or Massachusetts.

All Veronica could think about was how they had been happy once. They had planned on living in their beach house in Neptune. She had secretly planned their wedding and how many kids they have and what she'd cook for dinner on Friday nights. She'd planned on them always having friends and family over for holiday dinners like they had that year they were together. She always thought that it would become a tradition.

Of course, she'd always thought that he would eventually find her again. It turned out that she was a lot more optimistic than she thought, thinking her dreams might actually come true.

* * *

Mac confirmed what she had feared. Logan was Dick's best man too. That meant she'd be walking down the aisle with him. Perfect. She'd be staring at him across the altar as well. This was great. All the feel of the dream without that pesky reality that you actually got to be happy in. She'd get the almost look, almost feel of her fantasy without being able to even _almost_ touch it. 

Mac apologized profusely for it.

"I'm so sorry, I should have mentioned it. But at first I didn't know how, and then I couldn't. I let it go for too long and now here it is, a little under two months from the wedding and I still hadn't told you."

"It's okay, Mac."

"No it's not. I'm lucky it came up now, instead of you finding out at the rehearsal."

Mac went on apologizing, but Veronica tuned her out. If Logan was the best man then they'd be thrown together a lot. Walking down the aisle at the rehearsal, the ceremony. They'd be sitting next to each other at dinner, across from Dick and Mac. They'd be collaborating over speeches and other things.

She almost felt like telling Mac she couldn't get the time off work. She felt like bailing.

_There is a light  
__Placed up in the sky  
__Like the stained glass  
__Time slows down  
__Supposed to hide  
__I wish I could sleep  
__I wish I could dream_

Veronica and Max arrived in Neptune on a hot and sunny day, like there was any other kind. Wallace was supposed to be here to pick them up. Him and Samuel. But she couldn't see him in the crowd and she was tired. Max kept shifting from foot to foot, alert and annoying. He'd finally stopped asking questions about Duncan. They'd met before, on a few occasions, but they'd never really chatted. Max like to have details and Veronica hated to give them. It made for a particularly grating flight.

"Veronica?" She knew that voice, and she knew that when she turned around it was going to belong to a tall man that she had wanted to avoid as much as possible.

Sure enough, when she turned—fake smile in place—Logan had been standing there. Gripping the hand of a beautiful brunette just a little shorter than he was. The woman's smile was tense and she looked like she already hated Veronica. Just as well, Veronica already hated her.

"Logan. I would have thought that you would already be here." She tried to keep her voice light, even though she was willing tears to stay out of her eyes.

"_We_ were here last week. But _we_ had to check on a house, _we're_ moving." Nicole answered for him, stressing the word "we" whenever she used it. "After the wedding."

Veronica barely spared a glance at the woman, her eyes running over Logan. Cataloguing him, looking for any differences. He looked the same, except for maybe a little older.

"Baby? I think I see your brother." Max reached down and tugged her hand, pulling her away from Logan and Nicole.

She'd been about to chastise him for his rudeness, until she'd seen Wallace with little Sammy in the stroller. She forgot about Max for a second and dropped his hand. Running for Wallace she leapt at him, letting him catch her in a hug, lifting her legs from the ground for a second.

"Sorry I'm late, I had to pull over and then call Cassie and ask if she'd put the diaper rash stuff in the diaper bag." Wallace explained, setting her down as Max pulled Sammy from his seat.

Veronica turned her attention to the shouting child to her right.

"Raw-ee!"

Veronica cringed at the name. He was going for Ronnie, and it just proved that Cassie and Wallace spent too much time with Mac and Dick.

Max lifted Sammy out of his stroller and handed him to her, and as he snuggled into her shoulder Max wrapped and arm around her.

"Hey Logan." Wallace greeted Logan as he came up behind her. His shoulder brushed her for a moment. She almost dropped Sammy at the sudden electrical jolt it sent down her spine.

Veronica ignored whatever it was Logan and Wallace were chatting about. Her focus on his profile, willing him not to catch her staring.

* * *

She'd gotten a call from Lindsay twenty minutes before the rehearsal. 

"So my sister's flight was delayed and she won't be in until late tonight. But she's my maid of honor and I need a stand in. Now I know that you're going to say that you can't and we should just do it without one. But I'd rather someone be there in her place, so we all know our _exact_ places."

Veronica couldn't say no, not when Lindsay was so obviously stressed.

* * *

She'd been standing next to Logan for the last ten minutes, praying he wouldn't speak. 

"So this is like, practice for Mac and Dick's wedding… you know, when we have to do this then too?" He broke into her silence, leaning in close. Whispering into her ear, sending hot breath against it and making her shiver.

"I guess, although I won't be the one you'll be walking with tomorrow." She reached up to take his elbow when the music started. He was wearing a long-sleeve shirt, and she was in no danger of touching skin. She wasn't sure she could handle it if they touched skin.

* * *

They'd only run through the rehearsal once. Afterwards they'd all gone to the dinner, a sit down where she had to sit next to Logan and across from Max, who was sitting next to Nicole. She kept getting sympathetic looks from Mac, who sat next to Nicole and across from Dick, who was a groomsmen. 

She'd shifted to her left earlier and felt her thigh brush Logan's. He'd tensed, stopped chewing and stared at his plate with renewed vigor. She'd visibly jumped, hitting the table with her knee and making a glass of water slosh over. Nicole had glared and Max looked at her in confusion.

This was going to be the night that killed her. This was it. She'd either die from embarrassment or Nicole was going to lunge forward and stab her with her butter knife.

* * *

Logan's hand settled at the small of Veronica's back as he tried to grab her attention. She was talking to Lindsay. The feeling of it made her fill with warmth, and she leaned into it for a split second. 

"I'll see you tomorrow. We should talk, catch up." He'd leaned in and whispered into her ear again. She nodded, unable to speak. He just walked off, meeting Nicole at the door, and left.

If she didn't know better, she'd swear he'd been flirting. Just a little.

* * *

Lindsay was going to be staying at a hotel tonight. She was traditional and superstitious and thought it was bad luck to see the bride before the wedding. She'd kissed Duncan goodbye at five to midnight and loaded Lilly up in the car. 

"Lilly is staying with her tonight. That way they don't have to come to the house to get her to have her hair done. Don't want to risk me seeing her." Duncan had come up behind her.

Max had left an hour ago. He was staying at a hotel while she was staying with her dad and Alicia. They might be engaged but according to her father that still didn't allow him the right to be in the same house with his daughter at night.

Veronica couldn't help but remember that he didn't have a problem with her and Logan sharing the sofa-bed that one Christmas.

"You wanna go for a walk?" Duncan asked, holding out his hand for her to take. She did, and then she followed him as he pulled her out the door.

* * *

They didn't talk about it. She just left immediately after the ceremony with Max. She refused to stay for the reception. Logan had hugged her during the receiving line, said that he would talk to her after dinner was served. Asked her to save him a dance. 

She nodded and agreed. She wouldn't be going anyway, couldn't now. She hadn't hugged Duncan or Lindsay. Just congratulated them and moved on. After she was done with the line she and Max had gotten into the car with Wallace. He drove them to the house to grab their bags and then took them to the airport.

_I love the sound of my feet against these empty streets  
__Saw the whole town burn down, I was walking away  
__Nothing stays these feelings, I have wings  
__Arms outstretched  
__We're soaring_

Six weeks later Veronica was stepping off a plane in Neptune, this time a week before the wedding and without Max. She picked her bags up off the conveyor belt and headed for the big open area where she be picked up.

She was arriving early on a Friday this time so Wallace was at work. As was Cassie, Keith, and Alicia. She'd worked it out so either Mac or Dick would pick her up. She assumed Mac was busy and had given the task to Dick, who'd pass it off to someone else. And obviously it was his best man, because there stood the tall brunet figure of Logan Echolls. Waving her down.

"Mars!" He looked a little nervous, shifting back and forth in a rocking motion.

"Hey, um… what's going on? Where's Mac? Where's Dick?" She didn't want to sound like she didn't want to see him, but she really didn't want to see him. She was going to kill Dick Casablancas, and she kinda liked him now.

"Mac got this call from the florist or something about her flowers and freaked. She, Mrs. Mackenzie and Mrs. Sinclair all went down there to straighten it out. They're scary you know, the three of them together. And so Dick was supposed to get you, but the Grand called and they ordered the wrong napkins. Or maybe it was tablecloths. Anyway, he had to go down there and yell at them because he doesn't want Mac upset, and then he's got to see about getting the right ones in time. He wanted to send you a limo with a drive and a sign, but knew that would probably piss you off so he sent me." Logan paused to take a breath. "He threatened me, said if we got back and you were upset there'd be hell to pay and they'd never find my body. I thought that was funny, Dick defending you against _me_."

"He probably didn't mean he'd be doing the hurting. Mac's a force to be reckoned with when wronged. And we both know my proficiency with revenge." Logan smiled and nodded at this.

"So where's your boyfriend? Last one off the plane and you didn't want to wait?" His voice sounded bitter and a little jealous.

"He's not going to be here for another week, couldn't get off work that long." She was struggling to keep her carry-on strap on her shoulder and pull her bags all at once.

Logan produced a luggage cart, from somewhere, and loaded all four of her bags onto it. He reached for her carry-on and his hand grazed her shoulder. She jumped in shock as the electric jolt went down her spine.

"Wow. Bad flight or something? You're all jumpy." His voice sounded like he knew what was wrong, but he laid a 'comforting' hand on her shoulder nevertheless. The warmth spread through her and she resisted the urge to jerk away.

"I was up late last night and awake early this morning for the flight. I didn't get much sleep the last couple of nights before that either. Max has been worried about one of his cases and kept me up." It wasn't completely untrue. She hadn't been sleeping well, but it had nothing to do with Max and his current round of 'open and shut' cases.

Veronica noticed his hair as he pushed the cart out of the airport, she noticed the highlights. He'd been his natural brunet while they dated, always more conservative. And when she saw his new jackass yellow SUV she was reminded of the X-Terra. He'd bought the Range Rover while they were together. Even though it was expensive it was black and more subdued, nice without the added egotism that the X-Terra had had, or this one did. It seemed that old habits really did die hard and she hoped that he hadn't digressed as a person too and started calling her a slut.

"So what does he have to do with cases? Lawyer? Does he defend the rich or the poor? Probably the poor, he'd have to have an altruistic streak to keep you around this long." There was the bitter jealousy again, but Veronica couldn't figure out why. He'd broken up with her.

"He's a criminal lawyer. Basically I catch the bad guys and he brings them to justice. It works pretty well and he has a lot of cases. He does a lot of pro bono stuff too. He's real giving like that, goes down and volunteers and stuff on the weekends." She was gushing and didn't know why. She never gushes, especially about Max and his 'altruism'. Usually she's complaining to her dad that he's never home or to Wallace that he's just too _good_.

"Sounds _perfect_, like you found your match." His voice sounded hurt, and he looked tense. It made her want to tell him that Max annoyed the shit out of her sometimes. That sometimes he made her want to kick a puppy because he was too nice. Too much like a martyr.

"What about your fiancée? What she do? Where'd you meet her?" She didn't really want to know and judging by the look on his face he really didn't want to tell her.

"Lindsay hooked us up, about a year ago. Nicole saw me and begged Linds to ask me out for her. Finally she gave in and we went out. They're friends you know, both of their dads work for Duncan's." His voice was tense, and he sounded like he just wanted the conversation to end. But he'd asked her all about Max and now she had some perverse need to know all about Nicole.

"Where's she at? She going to be in the wedding? I don't really know any of Mac's bridesmaids except for Lauren and Parker." Veronica shifted in her seat to look at Logan as he turned the ignition.

"Lauren is currently in Paris searching for the perfect wedding dress and won't be back until next Tuesday. So no, she won't be in the wedding and she planned it that way. She doesn't particularly care for Dick and she hates Mac. I don't know why, and whenever I ask she says something about her place and being weird." Logan stared straight ahead and looked like he wanted kick himself for what he had just said.

She hated Mac? Veronica wasn't naïve, she knew that a lot of people didn't like Mac. Just like a lot of people didn't like her. It was kind of a running theme in her group of friends, that they didn't care what other people thought. And that was an intimidating thing to other people, their opinions not needed. The only people that hadn't applied to that philosophy was Piz and Parker, and eventually Parker came around to it.

She'd stopped caring what other people thought when a year after college someone at work said something rude to her. Instead of getting upset about it she made a sarcastic comment and let it go. That's when she realized that people shouldn't have that power over you. A year after that she met Michael. They eloped in Las Vegas a month after meeting and she'd ended up cutting ties with her parents because of it. Parker now insisted that the only family she had were her friends. They were the family she'd chosen. Them and Michael and the baby, who she was currently six months pregnant with.

Piz never stopped trying to please people, or more correctly never stopped trying to please Ashley. They'd gotten married four months after graduation and she'd never quite forgiven him for getting her pregnant. According to Wallace they were on the verge of a divorce, but they'd been on the verge of divorce since Tyler was born three and half years ago. She'd leave them to their drama until Piz hired her to find out if Ashley was cheating. Veronica already knew she was.

"So she and Lindsay are friends?"

"Yeah, they hung out a lot because of their dads. They're not too close though, but her and Duncan are the only ones that Nicole likes. Sometimes she doesn't like them all that much either though, thinks Lindsay is too sweet and Duncan is too passive. Lindsay gets along with her though, she's excited that we're getting married. Always says that Nicole is getting everything she wanted and now we just _have_ to do couple things together."

Logan wasn't painting a too flattering picture of Nicole. She'd already been accused of hating one of her best friends and disliking two more. And Lindsay was a little too sweet sometimes, but she was a nice person. Veronica liked her.

Veronica hated Nicole even more, more than she did when she found out that Logan had proposed. And it was more than obvious now that she was after Logan's money.

Gold digging little bitch.

"Max. Isn't that the name of that guy that was in love with the hooker? Didn't Mac date him, after Bronson?" Logan's voice broke her out of her reverie.

"Yeah, but trust me, it's not the same one. _My_ Max never ran a cheating scam out of his dorm room. And his friends certainly never hired any hookers for him." Her voice had some humor to it, trying to ease the tension in the car.

But Logan just got tenser when she said "_My_ Max".

Veronica rolled her eyes and looked out her window, they were still a good twenty minutes away from Dick and Mac's place. _Well, shit._

* * *

Logan couldn't figure out why he'd told Veronica all those things about Nicole. Duncan had already told him all about Max and his perfection. So had Dick. Logan had prepared a whole speech on Nicole's finer qualities. 

But he'd forgotten it when she'd touched her shoulder. _Twice_. He'd jumped at the chance for Nicole to be gone while Veronica was here. He'd been anxiously awaiting this time since Dick informed him that Veronica was maid of honor about six months ago, when Mac had asked her. He'd been dreading seeing her again, but it had also been his joy.

He hadn't dated much since the break up. Not even during his year in Europe with all the European women throwing themselves at him. He hadn't touched any of them except for the girl in Paris that he'd kissed, and even that felt like he was cheating on Veronica.

It was true that Nicole was friends with Lindsay and her dad worked for Jake Kane. But Lindsay's dad was corporate and Nicole's was a janitor. Linds saw Nicole a lot, her mother was also Lindsay's parents' housekeeper. Lindsay thought Nicole needed a friend and took her under her wing.

Nicole had begged Lindsay to set her up with one of Duncan's friends, and after Logan decided he was going to date again she relented. It'd been three years since he had dated anyone and agreed to Lindsay's idea of a double date. It still took him three months before he finally sucked it up and slept with Nicole. And it wasn't as good as he remembered.

It'd been three years of self-imposed celibacy and the year before that had only been Veronica. He wondered if he was remembering sex as something better than it was, but then he remembered how he felt with Veronica and thought that maybe it would get better with Nicole. It didn't.

They stopped having sex so much after the first month, and he could tell she didn't really mind. He knew she was with him because he was rich, but he didn't care. Veronica was marrying someone else so there was no point in pretending he had other options. He'd need to get married eventually and she got the affluent marriage she wanted so badly.

Veronica was out of the picture for good now, no matter how much it hurt.

* * *

Veronica stood six inches away from Logan, and was aware of every single one of them. They had avoided each other pretty well over the last eight days, but now were in the one place and time that they couldn't anymore. The wedding. 

She craned her neck to see if Max was there, watching her. He wasn't. He was sitting in his seat, talking to Keith until the ceremony started.

Logan kept staring at her, looking like he was ready to laugh. He couldn't though. Mac would be pissed. His laugh was loud and boisterous, and would definitely carry throughout the room.

"What?" Her voice snapped a little more than she meant to. She tugged at her dress nervously. It was a red empire waist dress that fell to her knees and the cool satin made her shiver.

"Mac said that everyone was getting red streaks in their hair to match their dresses, I just didn't think she talk you into it." She could hear the laughter in his voice now.

"She didn't, they're fake. She's good, but not that good. And work would never allow it." Veronica risked a glance at him, he was still looking and still smiling.

Any moment now she would be turning and taking his elbow. Any moment now she'd have to touch him. And she couldn't help but start to think of ways out of it. Couldn't help but think if she touched him she might not let him go again.

The music started and he offered her his arm. She took it.

No hesitation.

_There is a light  
__Placed up in the sky  
__Like the stained glass  
__Time slows down  
__Supposed to hide  
__I wish I could sleep  
__I wish I could dream_

The ceremony was probably Veronica's favorite of all their favorites. It only last twenty-five minutes from start to finish and there were no sappy self-penned vows. Mac's idea of the perfect wedding seemed to coincide with Veronica's. There was a reason they were friends.

Veronica took Logan's arm once again to walk down the aisle. He was holding her closer to his body so he could lean down whisper in her ear.

"Look at that woman in that hat. How did she make out of the house without somebody saying something?" Veronica chuckled a little before he continued on. "Seriously? People still wear hats like that to weddings?" Veronica chuckled once more.

"Well, she is like ninety thousand years old. Maybe she's confused about the year." Veronica looked up at him, returning the grin on his face. Just then she caught a glimpse of a very angry Max, whose fists were clenched at his sides.

Veronica pulled away, only slightly, but Logan felt the loss acutely. He could see her jaw tense up and she slowly turned her neck to face forwards. Most of all, he'd seen the way her eyes had been laughing in one moment, flickered away another and were closed off in the last.

* * *

Veronica stood up and raised her glass of champagne. She and Logan had bickered for ten minutes during dinner over who would be the first to give their speech. They'd played rock, paper, scissors in the end, and she had won. 

Logan stared at her, feeling the pang in his heart that he'd been feeling all evening. All week. Her ring glittered, and he suppose it looked like something she would want. Square and gold, large and showy. Every girls' dream, a ring that dwarfed other rings, one that _really_ proved that her man loved her. One that trapped her into something and wouldn't ever let her go. Her very own designer pair of handcuffs. She'd get the second one in a big ceremony when he got his. It made Logan sick to his stomach.

The ring Nicole had picked out was similar, big and showy. What was supposed to be a testament to his love and affection was now a symbol of the wealth and power she was marrying into. It was true that his parents had been actors, but his mother had been very political for awhile. And she had had her own fortune once upon a time, a fortune that no one had known about until recently. One that made him richer than his father's ever had.

One no one knew about.

There was applause and laughter at the end of Veronica's speech. She'd always been able to work a crowd, always been able to gain favor with a tilt of her head and a sweet smile. Nothing had changed in the four and a half years they'd spent apart.

Nothing.

He stood to make his speech.

* * *

He'd been out on the patio when Max found him. Sipping his scotch and enjoying the fact that Mac had chosen a string quartet to play ACDC, Metallica and a bunch of other rock songs during dinner. 

"I see the way you look at her. When you think know one is watching." Apparently Max was the blunt type, which always seemed to be her type.

"You're wrong."

"No, I've seen—"

"I don't care if people are watching." Logan interrupted, never looking at Max, never taking his eyes off his scotch. "I don't care if you're watching. I've been in love with her since I was twelve and aware of it since I was sixteen. And I don't care about you or anyone else and what you think."

"She's with me, has been for over three years now. You mean nothing to her to her now." Max's insistence that Logan meant nothing seemed overly desperate. Like not even he believed it.

"I know that. I've seen the ring, and I have my own fiancée, I know what the ring means. I know what dating and being _in love_ is. Because if Veronica is with you, then she's _with_ you. She's never been the type to cheat." Logan set his scotch down on a nearby table and turned to leave, looking Max in the eye.

"Why is that you don't seem to believe that? That even though you say it, and you sound convincing, you don't exactly seem to believe it." Max questioned, panic evident in his voice as his hand shook, gripping Logan's forearm.

It wasn't Max's hand on his arm that angered him. It was the fact that Max was scared of Logan when he did it.

"Relationships end, engagements are broken, and there are some people so embedded in your soul you can't forget them." Logan's voice was low and harsh, using a tone he usually reserved for intimidating people. "There are some loves that go on, even when you're apart from that person."

With that Logan pulled his arm out of Max's grasp and pushed through the double glass doors and back into the party.

* * *

Veronica had seen Logan go out onto the patio. She'd started to follow when she'd seen Max go out too. _That can't be good_. 

They were only out there together for a few minutes, but Logan looked pleased with himself and a little angry when he came back in. Max waited several minutes longer to return, and looked pale when he did.

She walked quickly to Logan and pulled him out of the room. Searching for a secluded place to talk, her head whipped around.

"The guests have taken over the ground floor, the only way you're going find somewhere private is in a room." Logan's voice was amused, like he'd been expecting this.

"I assume you have a room, in all you're likelihood that you'd get to drunk to drive home." She was already tugging him towards the elevator bank, looking behind them to make sure Max hadn't seen. Of course she'd dragged him through half the party, so he'd probably seen anyway.

They got to the fourth floor without saying a word. Logan pulled out his key and they entered the room silently.

"412 isn't exactly the suite, but it was just for the night and I wasn't even sure I'd be using it." Logan shrugged off his jacket and threw it on a chair. He strode to the corner furthest from her, and tried to pull his sleeves over his hands as he leaned against the wall.

"I don't know why, but 412 sounds familiar, like something I used to hear my mother say. That it was her favorite number or something. Weird I know, but it's just something I remember her saying a lot. She always said that I should have a favorite number too."

"What was it?" He stood fully from the wall, forgetting all about the importance of covering his hands with the sleeves that were buttoned firmly at his wrist.

"For a while it was seven, I liked it because Lilly did. It was her lucky number, and I always thought that if it was lucky for her then it was lucky for me. But it wasn't. It's stupid that a number could be lucky."

"So you don't have a number? Another way to not be like your mother?" She could hear the disappointment in his voice and bowed her head. She supposed that he thought she would have forgiven her mother by now. She hadn't, but she'd also learned to live with her mother's mistakes.

"Twelve. I think that I really like the number twelve." She looked back up at him, a small smile on her lips. He grinned back at her, knowing what she was saying.

"I like the number twelve too."

"So… what did you and Max talk about? You looked angry, he looked a pale. Tell me you didn't threaten to beat him up." Veronica took a step closer to him and stopped abruptly on the second.

"Apparently I look at you too much. He sees it and doesn't like it. I told him that I didn't care." Logan took a deep breath, as if to prepare himself for the rest. "I said that I've loved you since we were twelve and realized it when we were sixteen. That sometimes, no matter how far apart people are, they still love."

"Wha–what do you mean? I don't understand." She stood there, shaking her head and pushing her hands over her neck. Reaching for Lilly's necklace.

"I told him…" Logan took a few more deep breaths and closed the distance between them. "I basically admitted that I'm still in love with you."

His mouth crashed down onto hers, and in the briefest of moments they were themselves again five years ago. When he'd pinned her against the door and made love to her without holding anything back. He wasn't holding anything back now either. She released her necklace and braced her hands against his chest. She pushed him away.

"We're engaged, the both of us. To other people." Veronica stated, panting for breath.

"I know." He was panting too, looking at her as he always had, like she was everything.

"Just thought I'd point it out." Veronica launched herself at him again, pushing against the wall.

Logan reached down and gripped her thigh, pulling it up against his hip. Pushing off the wall with his shoulders he walked towards the direction of the bed.

Pushing off with the foot that was still on the ground she wrapped her legs around Logan's waist. Her fingers dove into his hair and tugged at the roots. Gasping as Logan's mouth moved down her neck.

"Oh God, what are we doing? We can't do this?" Logan pulled back slightly to answer her questions. "Why are you stopping?"

Grinning, he answered just the last query, "I thought we couldn't do this."

"That's why you should never think." Veronica rolled her eyes playfully and pulled his mouth back to hers. Logan's hands skimmed up her thighs and up to her hips, her dress hiking up and bunching on his forearms. His hands continued up the flat of her stomach, his fingertips brushing the undersides of her breasts. Grinning he started his trail back down her neck.

"Max is probably looking for me. They're supposed to do that bouquet and garter thing soon, we're supposed to be front and center for that. We should get back, we can't do this." This time she squirmed out of his grasp, pulling away from him.

He looked at her, confused. She reached for him, pushing him onto his back and straddling him. Leaning down she pressed her lips to his, his hands coming up to her hips. This time he turned his head, her lips sliding to his cheek before lifting.

"What is this Veronica? Are you going to mention the fact that we shouldn't do this every five seconds? Because I know what you're doing." He refused to look at her, his head turned the side, staring at the wall. "If you say it enough it'll sound like you're against it. You'll be able to say that you tried to stop it, that I seduced you, that it's my fault. I know you. You don't cheat and you'll put it off on me if you do."

Logan turned his head to look back up at her. His eyes held hers for the briefest of moments before focusing on her chin. "I don't want to be a regret again."

"You were never a regret. I _never_ regretted you, not once." She was scared now, he'd stopped kissing her. His hands hand pulled away from her hips and never returned to her body. The were only touching because she was on top of him.

"Then I don't want to start now. Because you'll regret this, I know you will. And then you'll blame me and hate me for it." He pushed her gently to the side, causing her to topple to the mattress. He swung his legs off the bed and stood, turning to stare down at her.

"You're with Max, engaged." His voice was hurt, and he sounded so young. Like a lost little boy that just needed her reassurance.

"You're engaged too. Nicole, remember?"

"How could I forget the woman that hates all my friends, who hates you? The woman I asked to marry me when Duncan told me you were getting married? That's the only reason I asked you know. Because if you were married there was no one else for me. None that I'd ever care about. So I just picked her, same as the next girl. They don't matter, you're the only one that ever has."

There were tears in both their eyes. He was running his hand through his hair repeatedly and she was twisting her necklace so much the chain started to choke her.

"Lilly mattered, once upon a time. I loved her, but she never loved me back, not the way I wanted her to. And looking back, it may not have been so much love as a really strong case of lust. And after Lilly there was you. You became everything."

"Logan, you have to admit there was a string of girls in between me and Lilly. And after me the first time there was Kendall and Hannah. And after the second time there was Parker and a troupe of nameless bimbos. And now there Nicole and whatever girls there were in Europe." Veronica argued, scooting off her side of the bed. They now stood on opposite sides, staring at each other.

"There were no girls in Europe, only one that I made out with for five minutes. And when she offered to come up to my room I told her no. It felt too much like I was cheating on you." He looked shameful, like he was really confessing that he had cheated. "There were only two girls I ever loved. Lilly died. You and I broke up and I never got over it, because I finally realized that you're the love of my life. Even if I'm not the love of yours, you're mine."

"I don't understand what you're saying Logan. What are you telling me?"

"That I love you. I breathe better when you're around. I'm myself and I can relax. You know me, all the ins and outs. You know why I am what I am, you know how I got my scars, you were there for some of them. You knew my mom and you never liked my dad. You weren't in awe of them. You weren't in awe of me like some of the kids, you treated me like you treated Duncan and Lilly. You were my friend for no reason, and the only one I thought that was real. And you proved that when my mom killed herself and I wanted you to find her. You proved it when I told you I didn't kill Felix. You bugged a confessional for me and you never once doubted that I didn't do it." Logan was breathing heavily now, and she could tell he was on the verge of tears.

"Logan, I…" she didn't know what to say, couldn't think of anything that would help them out here. Except three little words she hadn't been able to say to anyone but her dad since Lilly died and her mom left. Since the rape.

"It's okay. That's just how _I_ feel, you don't have to say anything. Just that I wait for you. Not waited, like I gave up when I asked her to marry me. But wait, because even though I know you're going to marry Max I still wait. We'll never be together and I hate that, but we had two months in high school. And almost seven months Freshman year of college. And senior year, we had the most amazing eight months of my life. Together that only adds up to, like, a year and a half, but to me they were more meaningful than anything else in the world. And in my heart, I'll always be waiting for you."

Logan left the room. Left her standing next to the bed, staring at it. He'd rendered her completely speechless and she couldn't move.

"I wait too." She whispered it into the empty room, wishing she'd done it just a few minutes earlier before it was too late.

She'd have to get back to the wedding, they were probably looking for her. But she couldn't face everyone yet, was still too shaken by his words. She sat on the bed waited for the feeling to pass. She sat and she waited.

She waited.

_There is a light  
__Placed up in the sky  
__Like the stained glass  
__Time slows down  
__Supposed to hide  
__I wish I could sleep  
__I wish I could dream_


	8. Steal the Night

**Title:** Symmetry 5.5: Steal the Night

**Pairings/Characters:** Duncan/Veronica _(mentions of: Duncan/OC, Veronica/OC, Logan/Veronica, Logan/OC)_

**Rating:** NC-17 (Sex)

**Spoilers/Warnings:** Everything to 3.17 (Debasement Tapes)

Future Fic

Okay, this is a DuVe chapter, but not in a good way... although there is some Duncan/Veronica sexin it's not a fluffy, cuddly happy thing... don't worry

**Disclaimer:** None of it's mine, and if it was it would all be going different right now. So don't sue, because I have nothing and it'd be a waste of both our time. The Song is _All I Want From You Is Love_ by Lets Go Sailing

* * *

Symmetry

5.5

Steal The Night

_Don't worry, I can't run that far  
__My legs can't carry the rest of me that far_

Veronica followed Duncan wordlessly, letting him tug her through the door by the hand. He only had a hold of her fingertips, but his grip was tight and unrelenting. She smiled to herself at the thought that the way he held her hand summed up their relationship perfectly. Fleeting. He could barely get a hold of her, but he wouldn't let go. Logan used to grasp her whole hand, with a loose grip that she knew wouldn't break. It had been safe and secure. Max alternately squeezed and loosened, leaving her hand a little sore afterwards, but he only held it out of necessity anyway, like when they were on the subway.

"Along the beach?" Duncan's voice broke her out of her comparison. He was looking at her expectantly, eyes wide.

"What?" She was confused, _along the beach _what It took her a few moments to come back to the moment, but she stopped him before he started to explain. "Yeah, along the beach is good."

Veronica noticed he didn't drop her hand immediately, the realization making the first few steps awkward. Then, as she pitched forward she realized why he hadn't let go. Heeled sandals in the sad didn't exactly mix well.

"Careful." Duncan's hands immediately reached out to catch her. "I was a little worried about you walking in those, but you seemed to know what you were doing."

"Didn't even think of them, I don't go to the beach a lot anymore." Veronica reached down and slid the shoes off her feet.

She didn't feel weird this time when Duncan took her elbow to guide her down the beach. It seemed natural, like he always had done it and he would always have the right to do it.

"So, Boston? How is that working out for you?"

"It's good, busy. It isn't as laid back and relaxed there as it is here. The East Coast just has a whole different feel to it, a different vibe. It was hard to get used to at first, I thought I'd fit in better. It was a little shocking to realize that I really am a California girl at heart." Veronica tried to keep her voice as light as Duncan's had been, but small talk was still awkward.

"You think you'll stay in California? I know for a while you wanted to try Seattle or something." Veronica knew the answer to this question, they'd talked about it months ago during a random conversation. It was so much easier to talk over the phone than to look him in the face and have a mundane conversation.

"Seattle is still tempting, but I want to stay around my family. Not just Jake and Celeste, but Mac and Dick too. Logan and Nicole. We've all gotten pretty close, Nicole and Lindsay are friends, you know." He avoided eye contact on this one, afraid it would upset her.

"So you and Lindsay are staying here? You gonna have any more kids?" Logan wasn't a safe subject for either of them. Especially since a little piece of Veronica still blamed Duncan for the break up.

"We fixed up the old house, remodeled it. First thing we did was change the pool layout. Dad bought the house back for me, I still wanted it. It doesn't really look like the way it did before. It would've been a little creepy that way, but it's nice now. More mine."

"And kids?"

"We'll probably have at least another baby, maybe two. Lindsay says three kids is ideal, but two is okay. And she's counting Lilly in that. Lilly would be an amazing older sister, and she's old enough now to be able to handle it. No jealousy."

Veronica looked at Duncan gush about his home and family and felt a familiar pang in her chest. She was going to marry Max, but she didn't want kids with him. Didn't plan on a home or a real life, had no expectations whatsoever.

"Why don't we detour and you can show me this new and improved Kane house? I'd love to see it, I feel a connection to the old one too. It was kind of a second home for a while you know?"

"Sure, we can walk. It'd be further to turn back and drive, easier to just walk the rest of the way."

"That sounds good."

* * *

Walking through the front door, Veronica marveled at the changes. It wasn't all transparent glass and modern beams. It looked homey, comfortable. Like a real family lived here. Not like before. It wasn't the adulterous king of Neptune with his ice queen. The terminally adventurous princess who grew up too quickly and not fast enough. And the tepid prince who could turn his emotions off and on like they had a switch.

"It really is different, not just the look but the feel. It feels better, more at ease. Not like you're trying to show how sophisticated you are. But _who_ you are." Veronica commented in a soft voice as her fingertips brushed the frame of photo long forgotten. A photo of the four of them. Logan, Lilly, Duncan and her, at the beach before Sophomore year. Duncan had the only copy, and she had forgotten it existed completely.

"I'll get you a copy. Logan already has one." Duncan reached forward to move her hand away from the photo, but she picked it up before he could reach her.

"All I wanted from you then was love. It's all I wanted then, was for you to love me and me to love you just as much. To be together forever. Funny how it turns out, huh?" She smiled sadly, staring into the eyes of a much younger, much more innocent version of herself.

"It's all I wanted too."

_Don't worry you'll still be able to place me  
__To place me to place me to place me  
__You can put your finger right on me_

"Why did you do it?" Veronica's voice had gone from soft and reminiscent to hard and angry.

"Do what?" Duncan unconsciously backed up as she set the picture down roughly on another table.

"Tell Logan? You didn't have to, you knew I was going to tell him the moment he got home. The moment I got home. But you told him anyway. I shouldn't have said that he didn't know yet, it was your opening."

Duncan opened his mouth to reply, but she continued on.

"I don't understand your need to hurt him, why you were so angry with him all the time. He was, _is_, you your best friend. Why Duncan? Why?"

"He wasn't my best friend then, Veronica. He wasn't even close to it. I gave up on him long before that and wasn't ready to let him back in." Duncan watched the toe of his sneaker dig at the hardwood floor as he spoke.

"Again, why?" She was getting impatient and desperate. "You said it had been a long time before that, Junior year? When we dated before?"

"No, before that. When I found out he was in love with you. I knew long before you did, so did Lilly. She always knew that you two would hook up at some point. He always adored you, and didn't hide it well enough from either of us. You were the only one oblivious to it."

"So, you give up on him because of something he never made a move on?"

"He did make a move Veronica, Junior year. Remember? A move that led directly to the two of you making out at a party and humiliating me in front of all my friends." Duncan finally looked up at her, his eyes snapping with emotion. The emotions he rarely showed.

"You don't get to count that. You were already punishing him for it, he had every right. And the reason we got caught making out at that party, the reason it had been a secret was you. We were waiting to tell everyone so we could break it to you gently. He still put you first. So again I ask why do you feel the need to hurt him?"

"Because he still got everything I wanted. He destroyed your life, made it hell for you for over a year. Called you every degrading name he could think up, tortured you. I left you alone, let you be. But I'm the one you accuse of rape, and he's the one that you run to after his father almost killed you."

"I accused him too, and I didn't run to him. He showed up at the apartment, bloody and beaten." Veronica corrected, even though Duncan didn't deserve to know the specifics.

"He torched a pool, put you through hell that summer. He went back to calling you a whore and a slut senior year, slept with Kendall. He may have murdered that Felix guy and you still go back to him after I leave."

"You think he killed Felix? You really think that he could do that? He was cleared because we found out who the real killer was. And I didn't go back to him right away, not until after graduation. You have no right to whine about what he was forgiven for, Duncan. I forgave a lot when it came to you too."

"You were supposed to wait for me, remember? I'll always love you, remember? I told you that before I left."

"I thought you were never coming back!"

"So did I, but I still kept the promise!"

"That's not fair, holding me responsible for a promise you made. Expecting me to be alone forever because you weren't here. I never realized exactly how selfish you were until now, but I guess I was always a little blind when it came to you."

"You know, all I ever wanted from you was love. All I wanted since we got back together was for you to love me like you used to. Honestly. All I wanted was… All I want is…" Duncan cut himself off, lunging forward to grip her shoulders.

Hands tight on her shoulders he pressed his lips against hers, his tongue pressing against her them after a moment. Veronica braced her hands against his chest and shoved him back, an incredulous look on his face.

Before she could think of a plan he leaned forward and kissed her again, softly this time. She melted a little, remembering the sweet way he used to kiss her in high school. The safe way he felt, like she was in danger of over-emoting. This time when his tongue pressed against her lips she let him in.

_And all I want from you is…  
__Love_

They were stumbling through the hallway, an unfamiliar hallway. She wasn't used to the house this way, and she didn't know where they were going. He probably wasn't still in his old room, but she couldn't imagine him in Jake and Celeste's old room either. Duncan seemed to refuse to let go of her.

They finally made it through a door not quite at the end of the hall. There was a large bed, but the room was a little bare to be the master bedroom. He had probably taken her to the nearest available bed, in a guestroom.

They fell clumsily to the mattress, it felt stiff and new. They were probably the first occupants and the idea of it made her nervous. His fingers were tugging at the hem of her dress, preparing the pull it over her head. Instead he released it and grabbed the hem of his own shirt and tugged it off over his head.

Duncan's tongue darted into her mouth once or twice before he abandoned it completely. His lips sucked loudly at her neck, making a wet smacking sound. His hands were back at the hem of her dress, and this time he gripped it and pulled up. The garment went up and his tugging made the move ungraceful and left her hair a mess, but he was back at her neck a moment later. His tongue was licking and he was leaving wet open-mouthed kisses on her neck, making it sticky. He continued on down, kissing her chest with even less finesse.

There were two other men that she could be comparing him to, two other men whose performances meant something to her. One he would never live up to, and one that she couldn't even think of right now. So she threw herself into the experience, giving herself up to it and reaching for the button to his pants.

Once they were completely naked he didn't waste any more time. Duncan thrust into her without any further foreplay, assuming that nudity meant go time. Like a x-rated version of red-light, green-light. Clothes, red-light. Nakedness, green-light.

"Condom." She panted it out as she reached for her purse that had fallen off he shoulder as he pulled off her dress. Duncan pulled out as he leaned down to retrieve her handbag. He didn't bother to hand it to her though, simply fished out the prophylactic himself. He put it on quickly before thrust roughly back into her.

Veronica grabbed at his shoulders and squeezed her eyes shut. He was no longer slow and sweet like he had been their senior year when it had been her first real time and she had thought it was his too. He was fast and rough, something she thought he might enjoy with Lindsay but she didn't like.

"Slower." She whispered it in his ear, praying that it would get his attention. He slowed his pace a bit, and the roughness vanished. Veronica tried to get into it again, trying to direct his hips in the way that she needed them. He seemed no better at taking a hint now as he was back then.

Duncan's unmeasured thrusts became even sloppier as he built up to his finish. She remembered being able to come with him before, but perhaps the lack of any real feelings kept her from it now. She didn't feel anything for him now, just friendship. And this was most definitely _not_ something friends do.

He shouted her name as he came, then collapsed and rolled off her. Veronica was pulled into his side just like she had always been years before. He settled his arms around her before kissing her once and drifting off to sleep. He'd never really was romantic in bed, always kept things in order and thought that cuddling should be done on the couch during the movie.

She laid there for a while, mentally kicking herself for allowing this to happen. For giving in to the safety of Duncan. He was the hole she always stuck her head in when things got too real and here she was doing it again. But the stakes were bigger this time. His marriage and family was on the line, along with her future.

This was bad.

_And all I want from you is…  
__Love_

Veronica slid out of Duncan's arms at roughly four thirty in the morning, letting the bedclothes fall away as she crouched next to the bed. She refused to turn on a light and wake him, so she was left groping in the dark for her dress. It was so easy as it looked in the movies. She had located her bra and put it on and her she knew her shoes were waiting in the living room. She had her purse wedged under her arm and a two awkward hands searching for her dress. She had given up on her panties after a twenty minutes search of both the bed and the floor. They had disappeared and she didn't care to continue to look, Duncan had rolled over twice and she'd nearly had a heart attack both times.

Her hand finally closed over the soft jersey material of the semi-casual dress she'd worn earlier that night. Clutching it to her chest she scampered out of the room and into the dimly lit hall. The light was coming from the living room and she slid the dress over her head before heading towards it.

She lifted the phone and dialed for a cab. She'd take it back to the restaurant, pick up her car and drive to her dad's. She had to be out of here by six because she had overheard Logan telling Duncan he'd be there a six sharp to get him up. It was a quarter after five now and she hoped that Logan still didn't believe in punctuality because her cab only had forty-five minutes to get there. She would not get caught cheating with a groom the night before his wedding, and she most definitely refused to be caught by that man. Especially considering all his past insecurities over Duncan.

Veronica sat perched on the couch in the living room, gazing out the window for an obnoxious yellow car. It pulled up at five thirty-nine and didn't honk per instruction. She scooped up her sandals and rushed out the door, shutting it quietly.

Duncan would be married tomorrow and she would stay just long enough to say congratulations and not look Lindsay in the eye. Then she would flee like she had never fled before. She and Max would go home early and she'd never think of this again.

As the cab pulled into the restaurant parking lot she silently prayed for two things. That Duncan didn't try to bring this up tomorrow and back out of his wedding. Second, that this never get back to Logan.

She prayed that Duncan had finally learned how to keep a secret.

* * *

Veronica slid into the church pew next to Max, and looked up at the giant cross bolted to the wall at the front of the church. It made her feel dizzy and sick to her stomach. Duncan was staring at her from his place at the front of the church, and so was Logan. Max was holding her hand, and she could feel the irritation radiating from him. He knew at least one of them was staring and she was in the middle, pulled in three different directions. Logan tugging at her heart. Duncan at wistful, fifteen-year-old self. And Max, all practicality and security. He was the safe choice.

As the music swelled up, tuned and started Pachabel's Canon for Lindsay to walk down the aisle to Veronica tried to focus on anything else but these three men that controlled her. Two of them had been there since an early age, and two of them meant more to her than the third ever could. Poor Max, it wasn't his fault that he'd never measure up to her two great loves. Her hand was going numb from his hand and her eyes were stinging from the tears she refused to let fall.

Logan still hadn't looked away, but Duncan had finally focused his attention on his bride. Dangerous, passionate Logan who always was there, meeting her blow for blow. Never missed a hit and never missed the mark. He was still a dangerous choice, a risky one. By the end of the ceremony she came to a decision.

She'd do what Veronica Mars always did. She make the safe choice.

_And all I want from you is…  
__Love_


	9. Wrap the Night Around Me

**Title:** Symmetry 6: Wrap the Night Around Me

**Pairings/Characters:** Veronica/OC, Logan/OC, Duncan/OC, Mac/Dick, Logan/Veronica _(mentions of: Keith/Alicia, Wallace/OC, Piz/OC, Parker/OC)_

**Rating:** NC-17 (Sex, language and a little bit of abuse/violence)

**Spoilers/Warnings:** Everything to 3.17 (Debasement Tapes)

Future Fic

**Disclaimer:** None of it's mine, and if it was it would all be going different right now. So don't sue, because I have nothing and it'd be a waste of both our time. The Song is _So Are You To Me _by EastMoutainSouth

**A/N:** This was supposed to be up a while ago, but with Harry Potter coming out (the movie and the book), my birthday, my sister-in-law and neice coming up for a visit, and all the random family members dropping by it's been a little hectic.

* * *

Symmetry

6

Wrap the Night Around Me

_As the music at the banquet  
__As the wine before the meal_

She sat up again that night, fourth night in a row. This had been going on since the wedding two months ago. Freaking insomnia and Logan Echolls was at the root of it again. Like she hadn't been able to sleep for weeks after he shattered her heart the first time. He'd done it again. Broken her and left without picking up the pieces.

He'd walked out on her, and when she'd back downstairs she found out that he left the wedding completely. Getting away from her.

Running.

He was running, using her habit against her. Showing her what it felt like, and probably not intending to. She thought it might be his turn to run this time, his turn to leave her. But that wasn't the case when she thought about it. Logan had left her at the end of Senior year. Walked out, beat up Duncan and shut her out. She'd stayed there the night he broke her heart, praying he'd say he made a mistake. That he wanted to be with her. And the next morning he'd broken up with her, tore up the life she'd planned for them and let her walk away.

It was her turn to leave, to run.

That didn't matter, because there would be no more running from each other. There was no more being together to run from. He had chosen Nicole and she'd chosen Max. He waited for her, but he'd never done anything about it. Logan had always run after Veronica Mars, even when she seemed too far ahead to catch. He'd opted for the easily conquered in the end, taking the girl that was more than happy to be a trophy wife. Madison Sinclair part two, or maybe more than that. Caitlyn had been like that for him, so had Kendall and she was sure Hannah had no problem with being his arm candy.

After all that waiting, he just left her standing in a hotel room with words left unsaid and tears in her eyes. Veronica still felt like she was waiting for him though. Like even though he didn't know she waited for him, he'd assume and rescue her.

Veronica looked at Max lying next to her. They'd had sex about twenty minutes ago. Scratch that, he'd had sex, she'd been used as something to get him off. He'd come, rolled off her and instantly gone to sleep muttering about her "amazing talent to relax him after a bad day".

It just proved, in glaring reality, that he didn't really care. Sure he said he loved her, and maybe he did, but he didn't care anymore.

* * *

She was making dinner for herself when Mac called. Three weeks until the scheduled trip to the Justice of the Peace's office that she and Max had decided on. Really they could have done it at any time, but that's when they'd have another month off for their short trip to Neptune and honeymoon in Hawaii. Veronica had wanted Europe, but it had taken two weeks just to talk Max into Hawaii. Originally he'd wanted to visit Neptune then drive up to Napa for the remainder of their vacation. She'd actually forced herself to cry to get him to agree to somewhere else. There was no way she'd be staying in a place where she and Logan had stayed in bed for four days. 

"So I was talking to Wallace, and he said that Max and you are going to get a civil ceremony with just the two of you there. At the Justice of the Peace. In Boston. What the hell Veronica?" Mac was upset, it was obvious by the fact that she hadn't even said 'hi'.

"Well, Max doesn't want a ceremony and an audience. He says it's a contract either way and he'd rather do it private." Veronica hated the answer, but it was the truth and she refused to lie to anyone about it.

"What about what you want?"

"If you recall getting married never really was in my plans."

"It was when you and Logan were together. You had it all planned out, granted you never gave me any details other than the fact that Wallace was refusing to be Maid of Honor. But you once said that Logan would be a good dad, and that you'd live in that beach house forever if you could." Mac's voice was soft, almost like she was afraid to remind Veronica of that time.

"Logan will be a good dad, just to someone else's babies. And it was just a stupid fantasy with Logan, something I thought about." Veronica was holding back tears now, afraid that maybe Mac could tell over the phone and on the other side of the country.

"Dick and I always figured you'd eventually find your way back to each other. We all did. Wallace said that even Keith was a little shocked when you got engaged to Max. Then I thought for sure that we'd be rid of Nicole for good when the two of you disappeared from the reception." Mac's voice wasn't soft anymore, she started to sound a little angry.

"Well, Logan broke up with me in college and then he walked out on me at the wedding. And nothing happened by the way. When we left. We fought and he walked out." Veronica left out the part where they'd been on the bed, about to have sex. And they didn't exactly fight, but he said his final goodbye. Mac already sounded so disappointed, she didn't want to disappoint her further. They'd been so close and it had been Veronica to let it slip away.

"He's been miserable ever since. And even more so since the wedding, asks about you a lot. Dick's getting a little annoyed with it actually, gave him your number last week. Logan kept saying he didn't want it, but I saw him program it into his phone when he thought nobody was looking. You know you'll be married in three weeks, he'll be married in five. Made sure to set the date _after_ you were married, just in case." Mac's voice was pleading, begging her to pick Logan.

"Why are you so adamant about me and Logan being together? Since when are you the little matchmaker that pushes your friends together?" Veronica was annoyed now, Mac was saying everything she wanted to hear. Except for one thing. "It's not like Logan actually _wants_ me to come back now. He said his piece in that hotel room, said goodbye for the last time."

"Veronica. Logan has always wanted you back, you didn't see him when he came back to the reception. He was pale, looked like he was going to cry. Dick said that when they spoke he could barely keep from crying, kept taking deep breaths. Said he just made a big mistake, the same one he'd been making for years. Of course Dick didn't understand what that meant, but he couldn't have a crying dude at his wedding so he told Logan to go home and chill out." Mac's voice was firm, and made something ache inside Veronica.

"Mac I have to go, I have… I just have to go." Veronica stuttered off the goodbye before hanging up. She let the tears fall, they came in torrents, pouring down her cheeks. She swept her dinner into the trash, she couldn't eat now.

Two and half hours until Max would get home. If she hurried she could be gone by then and just leave a note. It was Thursday afternoon, she had tomorrow and the weekend off. She could get to the airport and buy the flight that got her to Neptune, she didn't care how many layovers.

She was throwing clothes into a small suitcase. Three days worth of clothes and make up. Before zipping the case she grabbed her red sundress from the back of the closet and a pair of heels to match. She'd wear something that he wouldn't be able to resist, he'd hear her out. Running out the door she grabbed her purse and cell phone.

This time, Veronica Mars was going to run after Logan Echolls. This was going to be her grand gesture.

_As the firelight in the night  
__So are you to me_

He'd been waiting for her for the last four years, and now he was resigned to wait for her for the rest of his life.

He'd broken up with her Senior year of college and regretted it ever since. Every time Duncan told him how happy she was or Mac mentioned Max. Dick and Wallace had known not to bring her up. Wallace said that it was because he didn't have a right to know, not when he'd broken her heart. Logan was grateful and didn't think it necessary to tell him that telling him would be a better form of torture. Wallace had never fully forgiven him and he didn't want to give him that weapon.

Logan couldn't remember exactly when Veronica's friends became his friends. But even after they she was gone they'd stuck around. He'd been the one to try and talk Piz out of marrying Ashley. He'd done it anyway, and now whenever they played poker he bitched about how he should have listened. It seemed that their weekly poker games were the stuff of old clichés. Men whining about the women in their lives. Dick hadn't started complaining Mac again, the marriage was too new, but soon he'd go back to the way it was before. Wallace grumbled about how Cassie's psychotic need to keep everything clean and enroll little Sammy in every kind of 'character building' class possible. Duncan would probably never complain about Lindsay, but once or twice he bitched about how Veronica would call and yell at him for something.

Duncan and he had made up a year after Logan let Veronica go. He'd returned from Europe and gone to the beach house, still next door to Duncan's own house. Lilly had seen him going into the house and begged her dad to go visit. Duncan had knocked and walked in without waiting for an answer. He found Logan already drunk and holding a shirt Veronica had left behind. Her shrimp shirt, the one he bought her after repeatedly telling him she was short, she was petite.

Duncan picked him up and forced himself to look in the mirror. Said that Veronica was beyond the both of them, that she was never really meant for them. Logan closed down the house a week later, unable to stay in their house and unwilling to sell it. He bought a condo and set it up to be the ultimate bachelor pad, and settled in for a lifetime of loneliness. After that Duncan had come by to play video games on a bi-weekly basis, his argument one of the past. _"She left you behind, and she left me behind. Wanna be left behind together?"_ Even though it was weird and corny Logan agreed and got his best friend back.

Now Duncan didn't talk to Veronica anymore, said that she hadn't called in a while. Logan would bet that she hadn't called since his wedding. Something had happened, they'd fought, and now they weren't speaking. After four years of talking at least once a week, after twenty years of knowing each other, they'd cut off their ties to each other. If only temporarily it proved a problem for Logan. Where would he get his information?

* * *

Dick was getting pissed off, and Logan could only pretend he didn't know why. Being asked about the ins and outs of one Veronica Mars was only glamorous for so long. 

Mac had invited Logan over for dinner while Nicole was visiting her parents, who he had yet to meet. They'd been between drinks and salad when he asked about Veronica's wedding plans. Mac said she didn't know anything other than the fact that it was three weeks away and she'd have to call Wallace for more details. Dick groaned and left the table, only to come back with a scrap of paper. Veronica's number.

"Here man, here's her number. Call her up and ask her all this stuff. I don't know if she really loves Max. I don't know if she's really going to go through with it. I don't know what kind of wedding she's having or where she's doing it at. I don't know and I don't give a fuck, it'll end eventually. So here, call her up now and end it before you both have to go through divorces." Dick said as he shoved the paper in Logan's face.

"I don't want her number, I never asked for it." Logan pushed Dick's hand, and the paper, away.

"I know you never asked. You also thought that your questions were subtle and I was too oblivious to know what you were doing." Dick shoved the paper back at him, holding his hand out with a stern look on his face. _When did Dick become all adult and perceptive?_

"What the fuck ever man, she's an old friend that I don't talk to. I was just curious." Logan took the paper and threw it on the table, making sure he knew exactly where it landed. He'd thought about asking for her number so many times over the years, but never did it. Now all he had to do was distract the two of them long enough to steal the paper back and program it into his cell, then he'd return the paper to where it was and no one would know.

"She's not just an old fucking friend Logan, and you know that. And you don't talk to her because you screwed that up. Don't make excuses to make yourself feel better, you know when you're lying and it won't work." Dick sat down and resumed his drink as he served himself salad. Mac looked like she was going to start laughing. She got up to get the main dish and after a couple minutes Dick went to help her.

Logan snatched up the paper and pulled out his cell phone. Programming it as fast as he could. He slipped the phone back in his pocket and had the paper back to it's original place moments before Mac returned. He looked innocent and knew she had seen.

* * *

Nicole was crying. Logan had called out Veronica's name in his sleep again. He'd been dreaming about her non-stop since the incident at Dick's wedding. It was probably the third time he'd called out her name and Nicole had finally had enough. 

"Why can't you just let her go? After all, she hasn't even spoken to you in the last four years." Nicole sobbed out, tears falling down her face and she reached for a tissue to catch them. "I'm the one who's with you, I'm the one who loves you. What do I have to do?"

That stopped Logan in his tracks, he'd once said nearly the same thing to Veronica. Asked her what he'd have to do to make her trust him. Why she couldn't let Duncan go. Why he wasn't enough. Now he was doing it Nicole and he had a little insight to what Veronica felt then.

Horrible and guilty beyond compare. He'd basically trapped Nicole in their twisted story and now she was paying the price of being broken. He always broke what he loved, even if he didn't love Nicole.

"I'm trying Nicky. Really I let her go a long time ago, it's just that I saw her at the wedding and—"

"The wedding was almost four months ago. You see her four months ago and you still can't get over it?" Nicole interrupted, her eyes narrowing and her jaw clenching.

"She was Mac's maid of honor, and you weren't there and I didn't see a reason to upset you so I didn't say anything." Logan tried to reason, Nicole wouldn't accept this. She'd see past the lie.

"You must have known that she would be the maid of honor a while before the wedding. And still you failed to mention it. You knew how uncomfortable I was with her being around and you let me leave you alone with her."

"Yeah, but I didn't want to upset you and you wanted to go get a dress."

"Did you fuck her?" Nicole was standing, her tiny fists clenched at her sides.

"No."

"You wanted to."

"Yes."

"You're an asshole Logan. And you lose everything because you're not enough to keep it." His head shot up at this and he narrowed his own eyes in pain, but she continued on. "I'll forgive you for this, but if you ever see her again…" she let the threat trail off.

"I won't, she's getting married in three weeks and we'll be married in five. It's over, everything with her is over. We finally got out closure and I'm committed to you now." Logan prayed she couldn't hear his voice hitch over the lie. But she seemed placated and went to get back in bed.

Logan decided it was finally time to get over his silly fantasies. Veronica was never coming back to him. She was never coming back and he had to get that through his thick skull. They were over and he had Nicole.

Nicole was his fresh start and he was going to start treating her better.

_As the ruby in the setting  
__As the fruit upon the tree_

Veronica stepped off the plane at two in the morning California time, for her it was six. No one knew she was coming so she hailed a cab and thanked everything under the sun that there was one readily available. She threw her suitcase in the backseat with her and told the driver to take her to the Neptune Grand.

Once at the Grand she collapsed onto the king bed of her standard room. 212. She'd asked for a room with a twelve in it, for luck. She considered calling her dad or Wallace, but it was three thirty and the would all kill her. Especially Wallace since Sammy would probably get woken up and Cassie was pregnant and he had to work in the morning.

She woke the next morning at eleven and cursed the fact that she'd slept in. She called down to the front desk to order breakfast and a rental car. The breakfast would be there in twenty minutes, the car in thirty. Just enough time to shower and be out in time for her room service and then she could eat and get ready. With any luck she'd be out of the room by twelve thirty.

* * *

The clock hit one and Veronica realized she was without a plan. The only thing she knew was where he lived, the only information she'd allowed herself to look at before closing the window. She had everything on him in a file on her laptop and had resisted looking at it until last week. She needed a little backup and a little support. There was really only one person to call. 

"Mac? It's me, I'm in town and at the Grand."

"I figured you'd be coming back soon, after yesterday. I just didn't think it would be right away. Do you need me to pick you up? Does anyone else know you're here?" Veronica could hear the jingle of Mac's keys in the background and knew she was already walking out the door.

"I have a rental and nobody knows I'm here except for you. I told Max I'd be back on Monday, left him a note. And I have no plan. I just left Boston and got on a plane and all I thought about was what I was going to say to him. I have no idea how I'm going to get him alone or even how I'm going to see him in the first place." Veronica was starting to panic now, she'd never _not_ had a plan before. Never gone into something so completely unprepared.

"What room you in?"

"212."

"I'll be there in ten."

* * *

Mac showed up with a plan. And Dick was there fifteen minutes later. 

"So I just call Logan and tell him I screwed up? That I fucked some chick in 212 and don't know what to do?" Dick was looking between Mac and Veronica like they were crazy. And it was quite possible that they were. He'd never been able to lie to Logan before, not really. Logan always knew when he was lying. _Always._

"That's the plan Dick. It's only two though, so maybe we should wait a while." Mac said looking at her watch, her stomach grumbled. "Maybe get a late lunch?"

"I can always eat." Veronica and Dick said it at the same time. Dick giggled a little and Veronica rolled her eyes.

She did _not_ just do that with Dick Casablancas.

* * *

It was six when Logan picked up his cell phone, the number for the Neptune Grand showing on the caller id. 

"Logan?" Dick sounded frantic, and Logan couldn't help but wonder what he was doing at the hotel.

"What's wrong Dick? Why are you at the Grand?" Logan flipped his SUV around and headed towards the place he'd once lived but never called home.

"I did something stupid man. I've really screwed up this time and I don't know what to do. I need help, you have to come man." Dick sounded a little less frantic but stressed none the less. Something was wrong.

"What did you do that involves you being at a hotel?" Logan asked the question hesitantly, scared of what Dick's response would be.

"I fucked someone else. I've cheated on Mac and now my life is over. You have to get here man. Room 212. I'll call down and have them give you a key at the desk." Dick rushed the rest out and hung up.

Dick hung up on him. Now Logan knew something was up.

Mac and Veronica stared at Dick. Mac put her hands on her hips and tapped her foot. Veronica merely crossed her arms in front of her and raised an eyebrow.

"What?" Dick asked, his hand still resting on the phone he'd just slammed down.

"My life is over?" Mac said in amusement. "While your life _would_ be over if you cheated, that was a little dramatic don't you think?"

"Yeah Dick, I always thought Logan was the more dramatic out of all the guys in our twisted, incestuous little group, but I think you just proved me wrong." Veronica was barely containing her giggles over Dick's show. "Would you like to add an overdone sigh and fake a faint while you're at it?"

"If you recall I just did you a major favor, now is not the time to screw with me, Mars. I can call Logan back right now and tell him the truth. Or I can tell him that I did peyote and hallucinated that I was with someone else when it was my computer geek wife all along." Dick threatened.

"No, you really can't. Because if you do, your computer geek wife will kick your surfer ass." Mac said, starting to head for the door. She and Dick had to leave now or Logan would actually find his best friend in a hotel room with a blonde _and_ his wife.

"Yeah, whatever. Let's get going before Logan gets here and actually catches me in the lie. I'll never hear the end of this you know. Matchmaking." Dick was opening the door for Mac, giving her ass and appreciative tilt of his head before continuing. "That's supposed to be women's work."

"Get out of here you two, before all my plans are ruined." Veronica turned to the phone before Mac had a chance to say something. "I'm calling the front desk now, one key for 212 to be held for Logan Echolls, who should be arriving shortly."

It was all in place, now she just had to pray he didn't turn and run away when he saw her this time.

* * *

Logan walked up to the front desk, his palms were sweaty and he couldn't be more nervous. Dick couldn't be cheating already. Logan had honestly thought that Dick would be faithful to Mac for the rest of their lives. The were all the children of single parent families, children of divorce and blended families. All of them. Except for Duncan, who's parents had been on the fine edge of divorce and estrangement since the year Lilly was born and Mr. Kane started sleeping with Mrs. Mars. 

"Logan Echolls, there's a key for 212 waiting for me." Logan leaned against the counter, expecting it to take longer than the two-point-five seconds it did.

"Here you are Mr. Echolls. Have a nice day." The woman at the counter said, sliding the key across the marble counter before going back to her rousing game of solitaire. He missed the old people, the ones that knew him and always stopped to chat.

Not that he could chat right now, not when his retarded best friend was upstairs fucking up his life in one way or the other.

The ride up the elevator would be pointless, it was easier to take the stairs. No waiting and he'd probably get there faster anyway.

He pushed through the door and jogged up the steps, taking them two at a time. Quickly he moved down the hallway, a nervous feeling coming over him. Like spiders running across the inside of his chest. As he lifted the key to slide it into the lock the feeling grew more intense.

_As the wind blows over the plains  
__So are you to me_

She was in the bathroom checking her make up for the fifteenth time when she heard the beep of the lock opening, the swoosh of the door following it closely. Deep breaths, is she took deep breaths she'd be ready for this. One last glance in the mirror to see if her hair was holding up. She'd done it in loose curls, flowing down her shoulders. He liked it like that. She'd briefly considered getting a pair of scissors chopping it off, making short layers, recreating the style she had when they'd first gotten together. He liked her hair like this, but he'd loved that hair cut.

"Dick?" Logan called out, and she could hear the tension in his voice. He was nervous, probably because being here meant he'd eventually have to lie to another one of his best friends.

One last deep breath and another obsessive glance at the mirror and she opened the bathroom door and stepped out.

"Please tell me that when Dick said he fucked someone else he didn't mean you. Please." Logan's eyes closed the second he saw her, and he stepped backwards toward the door.

"Oh God no. This was Mac's idea, by the way. Use Dick and his penchant for stupidity to get you here. I was too nervous to come up with anything else so I went with it." She took another deep breath, she hadn't meant to tell him she was nervous. "Dick kept insisting that you always knew when he was lying. I always thought that Dick could be a pretty good liar, not with me but with everyone else. Watching him lie to you though, it was like watching a little kid try to lie to a parent."

"He did get pretty dramatic, with the 'my life is over' thing. I knew he was holding something back, but then he hung up on me and I thought that something might really be up." Logan had opened his eyes and seemed to have relaxed a little. "What are you doing here? Where is Dick?"

"Dick is with Mac, on their way home because Mac wants to watch this documentary tonight and Dick didn't think they set the TiVo." Veronica took a tentative step towards him, she'd never seen him this skittish before. Suddenly she felt like their roles were reversed and she couldn't help but laugh.

"What are you laughing about Mars? Finally go insane?" Logan was looking at her with squinted eyes, his forehead wrinkled in concern.

"No, not insane, just… it's funny don't you think. Here we are and I've manipulated you into this situation where we're together and you have no choice but to listen. And you're standing there, by the door, ready to flee. You look how I must have looked all those times and I just feel… I feel like we've had this major role reversal."

"I never manipulated you into situations." He was indignant now, wouldn't stand for his past attempts at getting her back to remembered any different from what they were.

"No, you just took advantage of every opportunity." She amended.

"I shouldn't be here. I promised Nicole that I'd never see you again, that all this was over." Logan turned to leave, his hand on the handle before she finally spoke again.

"Is that really what you want? Don't even want to hear what I have to say?" She was taking steps towards him, only a foot behind him before she even realized she was moving. The panic bloomed in her chest and she was afraid for a moment that he was really going to leave. That he was really going to chose Nicole and not give her a chance to put up a fair fight. But then he dropped his hands and turned to her again.

"You have a ten minutes to say whatever you want to say. Then I'm leaving and going back to my fiancée, and we don't do this again." Logan walked past her, taking deep breath as he made his way to the lounging chair in the corner of the room. He could do this, hear what she had to say then walk away. He knew when he decided that he was going to commit fully to Nicky that something would come along to test him. But he didn't think it was going to be two days later.

"Okay, so we were here two months ago. And you told me you waited for me and I never came back. But I waited for you too Logan, I waited for you to decide what you wanted. You broke up with me, remember?" Logan opened his mouth to comment, but she held up a hand, silencing him.

"I'm not blaming you for that I'm simply recalling facts. You broke up with me and said you needed to stop being in love with me. I was waiting for you to decided that you couldn't. That you really did need me and want to be with me. But then six months went by and you were in Europe and I thought you were doing that thing you do when you get over someone. Fucking random girls. So I started dating Max. I thought that if you came back for me I'd leave him, it wouldn't be a problem. Then three years went by and Max was proposing and I said yes. I didn't want to be alone while I waited for you. Duncan had already said that you started dating one of Lindsay's friends. I still thought you'd come for me, that when you did I'd leave Max for you."

She took another deep breath and grabbed one of the water bottles off the dresser. Twisting off the cap she downed half the bottle, hold up a finger to Logan as if to pause the conversation.

"Okay, sorry, my mouth was dry." She still held the bottle, rolling it between her hands as she started to pace in front of the bed. "Then Duncan said you asked Nicole to marry you. And that the two of you were talking about moving and having kids and I thought you might have really let go of me. That we really were done. So I agreed to Max's idea of just going in to see the Justice of the Peace. We planned it to coincide with our vacation. We have a month set aside for our honeymoon. A week here in Neptune and then three in Hawaii."

"Sounds like every girls' dream, a life changing event without any of your friends there to witness it." Logan's voice was bitter and tinged with anger. He didn't love Nicole, but he still gave her the wedding of her dreams. Veronica said she would never marry once upon a time, but she still had a vision of what her wedding would be like. And this was _not_ it.

"Whatever, it's not like a big wedding would mean anything different than what he planned out. Still a legally binding contract whether anyone I care about is there or not. Doesn't matter." She fiddled with the engagement ring on her finger, wished she'd had the foresight to take it off. She slipped it off now, and set it on the dresser.

"What I really wanted was a wedding on a beach in a silk dress with only our closest friends, our family, to witness it. Nothing huge and extravagant, but still meaningful. But I only wanted that with you. The only other person I ever had delusions about marrying was Duncan and that was a long time ago, when the only way that would work is if Lilly was my maid of honor. But that wedding with you, I've been dreaming about that for longer than I did about my wedding with him. Thought about it that summer, Freshman year of college and constantly our Senior year."

His heart and his head couldn't catch up and he could actually hear each thud of his heartbeat. His breathing was deep and panicked, gasping for air and getting too much. The room was spinning and he felt dizzy, he felt like crying and screaming at her. He felt like he was having a panic attack.

Veronica crouched in front of him, her fingers on his cheek, soothing. She gave his head a gentle push down and rubbed his back.

"Put your head between your knees and try to relax. It's okay, but if you keep breathing like you are you're going to pass out." Her small hand was rubbing circles on his back and he'd never felt more comforted in all his life. Slowly his breathing returned to normal and he lifted his head to look into her eyes.

"I need more than this, Veronica. There was a time where this would have been enough, but I can't throw everything away for you and put you at the center of my world again. Not when there's a chance that one day you'll walk away and I'll be broken again, and all I'll have to say is you said you waited." His words shocked him, and he felt like crying again when she pulled away from him and her hands disappeared from his back.

Moments later she gripped is hands and held them tightly. Twisting a little, his fingers burned at the power of her grip. She looked into his eyes, seemingly searching for something, but she either found it or gave up on it because then she was looking at him straight on.

"Then marry me." Veronica was amazed that her voice didn't catch on the words, she hadn't expected to take it this far. It seemed right though, that this is where it went and she asking him this, like this is where it was going all along.

Logan stared at her for a moment, holding his breath and trying to swallow the lump that had formed in his throat. Finally catching his breath again he swayed back to get a better look at her face, at her eyes. Then he lunged forward and his lips were suddenly on hers.

Veronica gasped with the sudden force of the kiss. She'd been expecting it, known it would happen when she'd seen the look in his eyes. But the shear intensity of it caught her off guard. His tongue slipped in with the small intake of breath, pushing against her in a way that was so familiar and yet hadn't happened for much too long. She felt the comfort of it, the familiarity and the rightness of just kissing him that she had to pull back for a moment to look into his face.

"Should I take that as a yes? Or…" She trailed off at his grin, a grin that she couldn't help but echo. A grin that felt like it was going to make her face break in half.

"It's a definite yes… well it would be if you had a ring, but since you don't I don't think I can accept. A boy has to have _some_ standards you know." His voice was sarcastic and teasing, his hands had somehow made their way to the hem of her top and were playing with the fabric. His fingertips skimmed her stomach and she sucked it in at the electric jolt.

"We'll get you that ring later you big girl, but right now I think that we should celebrate properly. In that big. comfy. king-sized. bed over there." She punctuated each word with a kiss before slowly standing and tugging at his hands.

Logan stood and stared down at Veronica, stunned at how things were suddenly working out. Stunned at how incredibly happy he felt. Finally. And with that last thought he scooped her up and carried her to the bed, gently laying her down before roughly jumping onto it to lie next to her.

He grinned down at her as his hand hedged at the hem of her shirt again, before diving under to press against her stomach. Veronica's own hands reached up behind his head and pulled his lips back to hers.

Logan's hands moved from under her shirt to over it as he ran his hands up her back and pressed against the back of her head and neck. They quickly moved to run up and down her sides, skimming the sides of her breasts. He smiled against her mouth at the small hum she released at the back of her throat. He started to unbutton the front of her shirt, pink and button down she remembered that she'd brought a dress to wear for this conversation.

"Oh god, put your hands on me." She arched off the bed, trying to get closer to him as he continued unbuttoning.

"I'm trying." Logan's voice was low and gruff and he was beyond excited at the sound of her husky 'bedroom' voice. The one he dreamt about and had missed all these years, the one no other woman had been able to copy. He decided to just rip open her top, screw the buttons when he reached the last one and sighed in relief. It parted and there she was, in a pink lace bra and already panting.

He leaned forward to kiss the tops of her breasts as she shrugged out of her shirt and he unhooked the bra simultaneously. He pulled the straps of the bra down and threw the undergarment onto the floor next to the bed wear her shirt had landed. Wrapping her arms around him, she pulled him closer as his mouth closed over her nipple.

"Everything's pink today, huh?" He asked rhetorically, the sound muffled with his mouth pressed against her. "Your panties? Are they pink too?"

He asked the question, not expecting an answer as his right hand skimmed down her stomach to the button on her jeans. His left hand was pressed against the center of her back, holding her to him.

Veronica could feel his fingers, nervous and clumsy, fumbling with the closure of her jeans. She reached down to help but became distracted several times by running her hands across his skin. He ended up pulling away from her, actually having to look and focus on the button. He'd never been this inept before, but he was suddenly nervous at being with her.

"This might sound weird, but I'm a little nervous," he confessed sheepishly, tilting his chin down and looking up at her through his lashes. Suddenly he was nervous _and_ shy.

"Weird? No, in fact I feel a little nervous too. Like maybe you aren't really the sex god I remember you to be."

Logan could see what she was trying to do. Take a stab at his ego and his sexual competency and the nervousness would ease away. It was obvious and blatant. And worked like a charm. He grinned and leaned back, sitting up on his heels.

"Well then, we'll have to get these pants off you so I can show you that your memory isn't wrong." He gripped the bottom of her pant legs and tugged, the material sliding down over her feet and off completely. He grinned.

"Ah… matching panties." Logan leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her stomach, a few inches below her bellybutton. His fingers curled under the hip straps of the lace panties and began to roll them down slowly, pressing kisses to newly exposed skin.

Finally he pulled her underwear off completely and shot them like a slingshot across the room, earning a giggle from the owner. Grinning he pushed his hands against her knees, spreading them wider to accommodate his shoulders as he leaned forward. Pressing a final, almost chaste, kiss to the juncture of her inner thigh.

Veronica had only moments to prepare herself before he pressed against her and he let out a low hum at the moment of her gasp. She bit her bottom lip and clutched the sheets in her fists as she arched up off the bed. His talented tongue lapped at her, flicking at her clit. His mouth closed over it and sucked, bring her into his mouth as she felt one finger slide into her. He added another finger when she moaned, and a third when she nearly shouted his name.

Logan extracted himself from her body. He smiled when he looked down to find her cute little pout wrinkling her forehead. Grabbing the bottom of his t-shirt he pulled it over his head in a quick motion before sliding off the bed. He toed off his shoes as he unbuttoned his jeans, pulling them off quickly. Finally he shucked off his boxers and leapt back onto the bed, causing Veronica to giggle.

"I like that."

"What?"

"Your laugh, should do it more." Logan whispered as he touched his lips to her neck, lowering his body to hers.

"Mmmm… I think that should be your job from now on, to make sure I do it more." She replied, wrapping her legs and arms around his waist and shoulders. She couldn't get close enough to him. She remembered this feeling from before, she just didn't remember it being this intense. Didn't remember feeling like she wanted to crawl inside him and be there forever.

"It's a plan. Now stop talking, we're busy." Logan's mouth covered hers, his hands diving into her hair. One hand left and snaked downwards to guide himself into her.

She moaned loudly, bucking her hips at him. Logan stilled his movements to acclimate himself to the sensation. There was that feeling. The feeling he'd been missing, slowly dying a lonely death without. He felt like his heart was beating so hard it was going to explode, the exhilaration almost too much to handle. He couldn't catch his breath and he felt… he felt amazed. He was so in love with this girl and she'd come for him. Finally _she_ had come for _him_. She was finally risking things for him, giving things up to be with him. She wanted to marry him.

Logan sped up his pace now, going from stillness to a quickness in mere seconds. Her hips thrust back at him as he pumped into her. Their momentum was building and she was getting louder, more incoherent. The thrusts were getting erratic, less measured than before. She was coming and he'd hold off until she did. He bit his bottom lip, squeezed his eyes shut and tried to conjure up the unsexiest picture he could. Nothing was working.

Suddenly she screamed out his name, digging her nails into his shoulder blades. She bit his shoulder, leaving a red mark that would be a bruise shortly. At the sound of his name, the feel of her tightening around him, his eyes had sprung open. He now stared into her eyes, seeing all the emotions that played in them as she slipped off into her orgasm.

"Oh, fuck. Veronica, I'm… Oh God." Logan stuttered off a groan as he came, stiffening above her after one last messy thrust. He was still watching her now hooded eyes, and all he could see in them was his own pure bliss mirrored back.

Veronica lay beneath him for a few minutes, waiting for him to regain his strength. She didn't mind that he had collapsed on top of her, welcomed the feel of him pressing her into the mattress. He slid off of her, sliding behind her as she rolled herself to her side. Spooning, he grabbed her hands, lacing their fingers together. Using his new position he squeezed her fingers before pulling her back tightly against his chest.

"So, was it like you remembered?" His voice was soft and even though it was meant to be light with humor she could hear the insecurity behind the question.

"No." She heard his small gasp, smiling before she continued in a whisper. "It was better. You can't really do that justice in the memory." She could practically hear him grin.

"No I guess you can't." Logan kissed the back of her neck three times in quick succession. The lay there, quiet, for a few minutes before Veronica broke the silence.

"I love you." Veronica whispered it like a confession, like it was something she had tried to keep hidden for all these years. And she had, for the most part. Never letting on how much she cared for and needed him. But now she wasn't content on running anymore, to him _or_ from him. She was tired and caught, finally able to accept his help and protection. Finally allowing herself to admit she needed him.

"I love you, too." He whispered it back like a declaration, like he always had.

_As the wind blows over the plains  
__So are you to me_

Logan was pulling his jeans on, Veronica was digging another shirt out of her duffel.

"It's completely unfair that you get clean clothes and mine are three days old. Do I smell?" Logan joked as she pulled on a pale blue tank top.

Veronica played along, sniffing the air before wrinkling her nose in mock disgust. "A little." She laughed as Logan tackled her to the bed again.

"Well then, lets stay here." He said it seriously, looking into her eyes before kissing her.

They were interrupted by one of their cell phones ringing. Most likely it was Nicole. Max had called and left a couple voicemails before giving up, she'd left a note and he knew she wouldn't be home. Logan however hadn't been home since Friday and it was now Sunday, and Nicole had maxed out Logan's voicemail and text messages received. She had repeatedly called since she could no longer leave messages. Logan had turned his phone off, but since they were getting ready to leave he had turned it back on.

The only call Veronica actually answered was when Logan was in the shower and the hotel phone rang. It'd been Mac, asking how things went with Logan. Veronica had simply told her that she couldn't talk, Logan was in the shower and she was going to go join him. Mac had called again early this morning while Logan was sleeping for more details.

Logan got off the bed and grabbed his phone, turning his phone off. He then pulled on his t-shirt and eased into his shoes.

"Nicole again?"

"Actually, it was Dick. I'm sure he wants details, like, the kind you _didn't_ give Mac this morning." Logan chuckled as he reached for her keys and her bag. "I'll drive you to the airport and then drop by his and Mac's place for dinner."

"Scared to go home?" She asked, laughing at his comical look and shrug. "Wimp."

Logan smiled and switched the bag from his left shoulder to his right so he could put his arm around her. They walked out of the room and out of the hotel hand in hand.

The held hands during the ride to the airport, but they were both silent. When they got there he walked her to the gate.

"Maybe I can go with you, break the news to Max together. Then we can tell Nicole together, that way we don't have to be apart." He was grasping at straws, afraid to let her leave.

"Logan, you go tell your girlfriend, I'll go break up with my boyfriend and I'll be back in two weeks. Enough time to wrap up everything with work, pack up my stuff in the apartment and say goodbye to everyone. It'll be fine, I'll be back in two weeks and it'll all be okay." Veronica was trying to mollify his fears, she understood his sudden insecurity and hated herself for being at the root of it.

He gave her a weak smile and kissed her chastely, he would believe her. He'd end things with Nicole, go through with the sale on his house and pray she did come back in two weeks. If she didn't he'd have to buy a new place to live, start over completely again. Putting his faith in Veronica one last time he watched her turn and head through security.

This was it, their last shot.

* * *

Veronica touched down in Boston just as it was getting dark. She let out a big yawn, finally starting to feel the lack of sleep from the last few days. That added with the time change she barely had enough energy to lift her bag. 

She trudged down to the front of the airport and hailed a cab, hefting her bag into the trunk. Veronica nodded off twice in the cab, zoning out the entire trip to the apartment. Suddenly she was standing outside her front door, key in hand, and couldn't bring herself to unlock the door. So she stood there, weighing her options. If she went to a hotel for the night she'd be guaranteed a full night's rest before work the next day. She could come home at five and wait for however long it took him to get home and then they'd have the big break up fight. She'd be up late, but at least she'd be fully rested. Maybe she could get a nap in before he got home too.

If she went in now, he'd ask where'd she'd been all weekend. Why she had left and why she hadn't returned any of his messages. They'd fight, they'd yell and they'd finally break up. This break up had been coming since day one, they'd never been meant for each other. He didn't know how to read her, couldn't even begin to understand her. When it came down to it, Max was no where near right for her. And there was no reason to prolong this as much as she already had.

Decision made Veronica pushed the key into the lock and turned, she'd do this now. The door swung open and she was hit with the sound of classic rock. Bob Dylan. Max was listening to Bob Dylan and Pink Floyd was probably in the changer as well. He was pissed. Probably sitting in he lounge chair in the living room and reading a novel, with the lamp on.

She dropped her duffel and rounded the corner, and there he was. Sitting in his chair with the lamp on, reading his Tolstoy novel. He was always the angriest when he read the Russian authors. Veronica detoured towards the kitchen, she'd need coffee if she wanted to stay awake and alert in this fight. She took the mug into the bedroom and grabbing her duffel on the way. She grabbed two outfits for work tomorrow and shoved them in the bag and left it by the door.

"Max?" Veronica called out from the hallway, surprised when her voice didn't shake.

"What?" Max was snappy, his reply coming out loud and harsh. Veronica sighed, preparing herself before going into the living room.

"Okay, so I should have told you I was leaving before I left, but I didn't know I was going to be gone until an hour before my flight."

"You couldn't have called on the way to the airport? Or answered one of my messages? Why the hell were you in Neptune anyway?" Max set aside his novel, not looking at her before he took off his completely unnecessary reading glasses. He only wore them when he to intimidate, like when he was in the courtroom.

"Wallace had a problem, and I had to go help him with that. I didn't think you'd care if I left. I didn't really think about calling on the way, and I was so busy. I was so busy that I didn't have a chance to call, then my phone died and I just never recharged it. I should have called, I know that." She was pacing, and nervous.

"Bullshit. I fucking called Wallace and then I called your dad. Neither knew where you were, neither knew you were in town. Then I called Mac's house, but Dick picked up and that man cannot lie. Stuttered through some excuse about not seeing you since the wedding. Then he changed to you were out with _Mac_ and you were helping _Mac_ with a problem. Not Wallace. What's going on Veronica?" He was staring at her with his icy green eyes.

"You're right, I wasn't with Wallace. I wasn't with Mac either, although she and Dick were the only ones that knew I was there. Them and… Logan." She wasn't going to be afraid of him, she wasn't going to put off the issue.

"Logan? What were you doing with Logan?" Max stood up quickly, squaring his shoulders and filling up the room intimidatingly. He took one step towards her, and she stepped back.

"We're getting back together. Logan and I, we're… I want to be with him." Veronica's voice shook, she backed up a little more, needing to be further away from him. His face was getting hard, and his eyes were completely closed off. She'd seen this look only once before. He'd hauled back and slapped her the last time. They'd been fighting about her moving in with him and he'd lost it.

He was immediately sorry and she'd made the decision to stay with him anyway. He hadn't meant it and she didn't plan to be with him in the long run. Then he'd proposed and when she hesitated he started to get that look again. She'd said yes and it'd gone away. But now he was advancing on her and she knew that eventually she'd hit the wall if she backing up. Then she'd be trapped and her purse and taser were still sitting by the door.

"You think so huh? You think I'm just going to let that happen? You said yes, I asked you to marry me and you said yes. That's a verbal contract you little bitch, and I'm holding you to it." He reached out with his fist and grasped onto her hair, a handful getting tangled in his fingers. Max pulled her face closer to his until she was just an inch away. "This isn't happening Veronica, you hear me? It's not."

With a well aimed jerk she slammed her knee into his groin. He grunted and dropped her head, backing away from her to grab himself. She took her chance to make it to her purse, her hand closing over her taser and holding it like a shield in front of her.

"Stay away from me Max, I mean it. I'll use this on you, don't think I—"

Max cut her off, grabbing her wrist and squeezing. It felt like her bones were about to break, then he lifted his other hand and backhanded her across her cheek. The force of the hit released her from his grip and she fell against the table that stood by the door. She tightened her hand over taser again and this time flicked the switch to the electricity. Veronica looked at Max again, then rammed it into his rib cage. He collapsed and Veronica ran to the bedroom, grabbing up her duffel and grabbed her purse on the way out.

She'd have her friend Michael come with her to pack up the rest of her stuff, but she was leaving now. She wouldn't stay here with him. And in two weeks she'd be in California for good, and she'd never have to see Max again. She'd been confused about who and what she was when she stayed with him before, allowed him to intimidate her into staying. Not this time. She had Logan back and with that came clarity, as always. No more 'normal' guys like Max and Duncan, she wasn't normal and would never be happy with that type of guy. Especially when they all seemed to turn out violent or deluded.

* * *

Logan entered his house. Scratch that, the house that was his a month and a half ago before Nicole insisted that they sell it to move to New York City. Because the West Coast, according to Nicole, was _so over_. They were East Coast people, because East Coast people were more sophisticated and generally better at life. Logan never won the argument that some of the richest people in the country lived on the West Coast, including his best friend's father. 

"Where the fuck have you been?" Nicole exploded the moment he walked into the kitchen. Her shriek was loud and he moved to the bar first, he was going to need a scotch if he was going to get through this conversation.

"Around." he poured a tumbler full of the amber liquid and downed it one gulp, giving her a snarky answer.

"Around? You disappear for nearly three days and that's all you have to say? You're an asshole Logan." Nicole crossed her arms in front of her and shifted her weight with her right hip cocked. She was trying to look intimidating and in the past it may have worked. Now it just seemed ridiculous that this little brunette girl thought she could scare him. Make him think he wasn't good enough. He'd spent years at his father's mercy and then dealt with the Fitzpatricks and PCHers. The only thing that had ever continued to scare him was that something might happen to Veronica. That and her talent for revenge. And he was better than Nicole, she faked her way through friendships and pretended in their relationship.

"Yeah, maybe I am an asshole, but you know what Nicky? You're a bitch, and as much sense as it makes for us to be paired up we shouldn't be. I don't love you enough to look past your faults. I can't and you seem not to be able to look past mine. Or really, you can't look past my bank account, but that's beside the point. The point is that we're over. Done." Logan was making a dramatic return to his days of old. The days when his gestures were wild and dramatic. The days when Veronica called him a drama queen and giggled when he acted offended.

"Done? You can't be serious. I'm not leaving this house, it's mine and I won't leave it. This is my life Logan and you can't pull it all away from me."

"I am serious and you will leave this house. We arranged for movers and they'll be here in a few days, I've called and told them it will all go into a storage unit. A unit you don't have access to. I've contacted the woman in New York and cancelled the sale on the new house so that's gone. I cancelled your credit cards this morning and the dealership will be picking up your car. So stay here as long as you like, it can be the new owner's job to have you escorted off the premises by the police. I don't care." Logan sat on the couch, wiggling around a little to get comfortable as he sipped his second glass of scotch.

"Are you drunk? Where are you going to live? With Dick and his new wife?" There was a chuckle in her voice, she still thought he was joking. She moved closer and settled herself on his lap. "Don't be silly Logan, we'll cancel the sale on the house and stay here if you're so against New York."

Logan shoved her of his lap and she landed with a thump on the couch. Rolling his eyes he continued, trying to make her see that he was completely serious. "No Nicky, you don't get it. We really are over. You want to know where I was all weekend?"

"Yes, I want to know where you were all weekend." Nicole stared at him, her face looking like steal.

"I was at the Grand, with Veronica. We're engaged, and you and I are finished." He said it while staring her in the eye, seeing the twitch of anger in her face. Her jaw jut forward, and she pulled further away from him.

"No, you and I are engaged and she's set to be married in two weeks. To that Max guy." Nicole's voice seemed less sure and more angry.

"Wrong, you and I are over, as I've mentioned several times. And as we speak she's ending it with Max. And you want to know where I'm going to live? In my beach house. The one you wanted to sell so bad. I'm going to live there with the love of my life and I never want to have to see you again." With that Logan stood and left the room, going upstairs to pack his things. He'd have to call a maid service to go clean the beach house in the morning, but he'd stay with Dick until it was clean.

He had two weeks until she was back, a week until she promised her stuff would start showing up. Shipping it all by boxes. He'd have the house set up for when she got back. Then they'd be together and nothing would stop them.

* * *

Two weeks later she pulled up in front of the small three bedroom beach house they'd shared years ago. The one she'd dreamt about and never stopped thinking of as home. Wallace had asked if she wanted him to pick her up from the airport, but she'd said no. She rented a car and drove instead. They'd have to get her a car in the next few days and then she'd have to start thinking about work, but right now all she wanted was Logan. 

Logan was probably inside pacing, worrying that her flight had been delayed or that she'd chickened out and was on the run again. She smiled at the image she got of him walking back and forth with his hands pulling his sleeves down.

Veronica checked the mirror, making sure that her make up was perfect and her bruise from Max was really gone. It had faded a week ago but she'd become paranoid that Logan would know what happened and go on a rampage. Satisfied she hopped out of the car and ran up the front walk, opting to leave her bags until later. Most of her stuff was here already anyway.

She swung the door open, it squeaked with years of humidity and lack of use. It looked the same, as if nobody had been in it for five years. Like time had froze.

She walked further into the house, looking for Logan. He wasn't in either of the bathrooms or bedrooms. She heard the creak of a door behind and before she could turn around he was there, arms wrapped around her.

"Hi baby," Logan's voice was low and smooth, it gave her shivers to hear it after missing it for so long.

"Hey, the house looks good." Veronica turned in his arms to face her. "And so do you."

Logan grinned, leaning forward to capture her lips. After a few moments she pulled away completely, digging in her jeans pocket. She held up a silver ring on a chain, a small diamond glinting.

"I got that engagement ring you were so worried about." Veronica said, holding the ring and chain aloft. Logan's laugh was loud and unrestrained, he reached in his own pocket and dug out a small black velvet box.

"Got you one too." He flipped open the top and revealed a moderate sized round diamond set in platinum. It was simple and elegant. Veronica gasped at it's beauty and Logan's ability to pick the perfect ring for her. His ability to show her how well he knew her.

"Let's go celebrate properly, huh?" Logan asked as he scooped her up, one arm behind her back and another behind her legs. He carried her to the bedroom as she slid her ring on her finger and the chain over his head.

_So are you to me_


	10. AUTHORS NOTE

I know I haven't updated in, like, a month and a half. But there's been a whole lot going on in my personal life that just did not inspire me to write...

In last month my favorite aunt on my dad's side of the family passed away and it was the one year anniversary of one of my favorite cousins (on the same side of the family) death. Also my best friend married a guy from England.

On the 8th of this month this huge drama went down and there was yelling match about a trust issue with a couple of friends of mine. After fighting and fighting the truth came out and it turns out that the betrayal was too big for even me to forgive. So I lost one friend and it's a little awkward with the other. And on Sept. 11 was the 3rd anniversary of my father's death. _And_ I've been sick for, like, two weeks.

And I know this doesn't really compare to the rest of what has been going on but there was this huge drama with ticket sales and even though they insisted you had to stand in line to get a wrist band and then stand in line for tickets and this huge complicated system that I followed with one of my close friends, we missed out on getting Elton John concert tickets. It really doesn't compare to the rest, but it still bummed me out.

So, with all that going on I just haven't been able to write anything much in the way of an actual update. I have chapter 4.5 _almost_ written and 6.5 & 7 outlined. So there may be a chapter within the next couple of days... hopefully.


	11. Almost Had It

**Pairings/Characters:** Logan, Veronica, Duncan _(mentions of: Logan/Veronica, Dick/Mac and_ slight _mentions of: Logan/Lilly, Duncan/Veronica)_

**Word Count: **6,876 (6,739 without lyrics)

**Rating:** R (alcohol abuse and some swearing)

**Spoilers/Warnings:** Everything to 3.17 (Debasement Tapes)

Future Fic

**Disclaimer:** None of it's mine, and if it was it would all be going different right now. So don't sue, because I have nothing and it'd be a waste of both our time. The Song is i Wish You Were Here /i by Pink Floyd

**A/N:** Okay, this starts near the end of the chapter, the morning after Logan's fight with Duncan, after the conversation in the kitchen that Veronica runs out on. It then skips to a key moment with Duncan and Logan in the intervening years between chapters 4 & 5

* * *

Symmetry

4.5

Almost Had It

_So, so you think you can tell  
__Heaven from Hell,  
__Blue skies from pain.  
__Can you tell a green field  
__From a cold steel rail?  
__A smile from a veil?  
__Do you think you can tell?_

She'd been sitting there since running out on Logan. When she'd started out she'd originally been headed towards her dad's apartment, convinced that he could-and would- help. Keith Mars always fixed everything and had developed some strange knack for talking sense into Logan. And he always made her see the way through the problem, the solution. But halfway there she'd faltered. If Logan reconsidered, rethought this ridiculous notion that they'd be better off apart he'd have to deal with her dad. Her dad had come so far since he referred to Logan only as the boy he had literally thrown out of the apartment. If Veronica told him about his and they worked it out it's possible Keith would start to hate him again. She couldn't deal with that again. Not anymore, she'd gotten too used to them getting along and acting like family. Then it hit her even harder, her dad wasn't even home. He was off living his own life in his own bliss.

Veronica had decided on a new destination right then and steered her silver hybrid towards the spot on the beach that held the most memories. She parked in the space she had parked in the day he vandalized her Le Baron and she had stopped Weevil from beating the crap out of him. She got out and walked past the place where he called her cold and heartless and asked her to stick her head in an oven. Passed the place where they'd walked with Duncan and Lilly playing "I Never…". Passed the place where he'd learned she was a virgin that had never gone skinny dipping. Finally she settled in the sand a short distance away, still staring at the spot as if she could still see her best friend imitating Celeste in bed. She settled down in her place in the sand where she and Logan had sat while Duncan chased Lilly up the beach. Lilly had taken a rather incriminating photo and Duncan had threatened to smash the digital camera in order to destroy the evidence. Lilly had simply said _"Whatever Donut."_ and taken off in the opposite direction, Duncan only hesitating a moment before lending chase. She and Logan had sat there in companionable silence until Logan had asked her what she thought of hi when they first met. His question had been met with a silence no longer as friendly as it once was.

_"Come on I told you mine." Logan whined as he stared at her profile, watching her watch their counterparts race down the beach._

_"Yeah, well we were actually playing a game then. You had to answer. Same rules do not apply when you just want to know." Her answer was curt, but amused. She was playing at mad, she'd never really been seriously angry with him. She liked to pretend._

_"Okay, truth or dare?" His rueful smile was like a dare already. She knew he had a talent for dares and she didn't want to tell the truth. She was stuck._

_"Dare." She was being defiant, she knew this as she turned her gaze to look him in the eye. The couldn't hear the other half of their party anymore and all Veronica could make out of the two of them in the dark and distance was the white of Duncan's tuxedo shirt and the faint glimmer of Lilly's glittering gold dress._

_"Are you…?" Logan started to ask, as he always did when she said 'dare'. But the look in her eyes as he spoke told him that she was stubborn enough to pick dare and drunk enough to stick with it._

_"Okay…" He had not been prepared to dare her to do anything and he couldn't dare her to do what he really wanted. But of course they were both drinking and Veronica never really could hold her liquor well. If he dared her she'd have and couldn't back out. She would never announce such a thing to Lilly and in the morning she'll either have forgotten it or placed it in the 'things-we-never-talk-about' category that was rapidly becoming the basis of their friendship. "I dare you to kiss me."_

_Her eyes momentarily widened with shock, annoyance and something else he couldn't quite place. Logan had the distinct sensation of hope as he realized it might be want, until he quelled the thrilling thought when he realized he was only seeing what he wanted to see. But her eyes were closing and she was leaning forward._

_"Tongue kiss for ten seconds." Here eyes flew open at the addition to the dare and he smiled when he saw her annoyance again. She rolled her eyes at his choice of phrasing._

_Veronica leaned forward slightly again, only closing a short distance between them, forcing Logan to lean further in. She had known his question was coming since he had answered Lilly in the limo. Known that this was what was going to happened the moment before she made her choice. If she was really honest with herself she had thrilled at the thought of kissing him and dare at the thought. After she had said dare she had wanted to back out until she realized that Logan always gave her an out of his dares and expected her to chicken out. If he dared her to kiss him she kiss the corner of his mouth and that's be it. Then he'd added the specification and time limit._ Tongue Kiss?_ Only Logan would refer to it as that after the age of eight._

_Logan's lips pressed against Veronica's and his tongue seemed to have snake into her mouth without her realizing. Her arms lifted up automatically and she laid them over his shoulders. Logan's hands gripped her head and tilted it to change the angle, deepening the kiss._

_It went on pass ten seconds without either of them noticing. Logan's mouth on her neck brought her instantly back to her senses. With a little jump she jerked away a little and Logan caught her lips before she could pull away completely._

_Logan's heart was hammering in his chest, beating so hard that he was sure that she could hear it too. It seemed to thunder in his own ears. His hands had crept up her back until they settled on the tiny zipper holding her candy pink dress on. He thought about easing it down, getting peek at what he'd always wanted. Then he remembered that his girlfriend and his best friend were just down the beach, probably back any moment. The fantasy he'd been enjoying, the dream of kissing the girl he'd been dying to kiss for more than three years now faded and reality hit him like a cold wave. He released her and pulled back, pretending that the kiss had only lasted a couple of moments._

_"Truth or dare?" Veronica whispered, her thin and delicate fingertips pressed gently against her lips. She was looking at him with an expression of concentration, her brows furrowed and a little frown on her swollen lips. The sight made him want to shove away reality and dive into the fantasy._

Truth or dare?_ The question finally made it's way through his hazy fog and his eyes pulled up from her lips to her eyes. They looked cloudy, and filled with something akin to lust. It couldn't be lust though, perfect little Veronica Mars didn't lust. Dare. If he said dare would she dare him to kiss her? Would she go that far? Or would she dare him to jump in the ocean? That wouldn't be such a bad idea at the moment, considering the state of things between his legs._ Truth?_ There wasn't anything he had the desperate need to hide from her if he answered truth. He didn't have anything to fear about what she could ask of him. She already knew his biggest secret, that he had a crush on her. Whatever else was left didn't really matter. He had informed her of his crush and she hadn't hated him for it like he had expected all this time._

_"Truth."_

_"Why did you dare me to kiss you?" He was wrong. He didn't want to answer that question, there were too many possibilities for having to discuss things there. He had the sudden urge to kiss her again, distract her from her question and lose himself in her once again._

_"You're hot, so it's not like some kind of punishment to kiss you. Especially since you turned out to pretty damn good at it." He added to last part just to see her blush. He succeeded and she turned a bright pink before he continued. "And it was either that or dare you to strip or jump in the ocean, neither of which would have been acceptable. If I got caught with you naked I'm pretty sure your dad would invent a new form of torture for me. And if you jumped in the ocean you're dress would pull you down and you'd be soaked and cold and…"_

_Logan trailed off his rambling explanation at the amused smirk on her face. A smirk. He'd never seen Veronica do anything but grin and smile, a smirk was a completely new and attractive expression. A new facet to a girl he'd adored since he was twelve. "Truth or dare."_

_"Truth." She seemed to have gotten braver, or she knew the real reason he had dared her to kiss him. Either way Logan didn't care, he was going to get the answer he'd been wanting._

_"What did you think of me when you first saw me?" Veronica mouth fell open to answer._

_"I–" She began, only to be cut off by the distant yelling of her name. Her eyes ripped away from his and he had to turn to look for it's source. Lilly was yelling and waving her arms, beckoning her best friend to her. Veronica struggled to her feet and ran, stumbling a bit along the way, to where Lilly was._

_Logan looked on in disappointment. He would never get his answer now, and with stunning clarity he realized that Veronica really was drunk. It seemed like such a good point for daring her to kiss him before. That she wouldn't remember it. But the more he thought about it the more he realized that he wanted her to remember it as clearly as he did. He wanted her to remember it and want more, want him._

Veronica looked up at the setting sun, it was getting late and as her stomach rumbled she remember she hadn't eaten. At first she couldn't eat due to her lack of sleep. She'd been unable to rest without him in bed with her, it'd been so long since she'd slept alone. Nearly eight months. The bed had been much too big for her by herself and she'd been desperate to go to him in the guest room. Pick the lock and crawl in bed with him. Then she'd been unable to eat at the thought of what was happening between them. He'd never slept in the guest room before, always chose the couch when they fought and she'd kicked him out of bed. It always seemed less permanent that way, like he'd be coming back. The couch was too short and while comfy to sit on it was uncomfortable to sleep on. Whereas the guest bed was fluffy and long enough to support his tall frame, easier to sleep in than on a couch. It wasn't punishment, it was resignation.

She'd rushed out of the house too quickly to grab her purse, she'd merely swept her keys up off the small table next to the door that usually held their mail and slammed the door behind her. She couldn't buy any food or sit in coffee shop sipping coffee and trying not to cry. She couldn't talk to Wallace because he was with Cassie off on their romantic day. She had no desire to talk to Piz, her ex-boyfriend, about the problems in her relationship and she'd sooner shoot herself in the foot before she'd seek advice from that girl he was dating. If she were in the same room as Duncan she was pretty sure it would get confrontational real quick. The only people she could go to now were Mac and Parker. Mac seemed like an obvious choice at first if it weren't for the fact that Dick could be over there right now. Dick, Logan's best friend. And Parker was Logan's ex-girlfriend, would she be comforting and helpful right now or would she simply say that he was a jerk and tell her to get over it. Of course Parker wasn't bitter about her former boyfriend anymore, and she was a real friend to Veronica. Mac would kick Dick out if Veronica said it was an emergency.

Honestly, if there was ever a time to have a need for girl friends it was now.

* * *

Veronica had only had to knock once before the door swung open and Parker stood before her in her pajamas. The girl was a bright blinding mess of pink shorts, pink tank top and pink fuzzy slippers. It was an uncommonly welcoming sight.

"I didn't think it was that late." Veronica said, feeling like she had intruded on Parker's down time now. _How late is it?_ She'd the beach house at one-thirty, she couldn't have camped herself out on Dog Beach any longer than two hours. Unless she got so caught up in memories that time had flown by faster than she thought.

"Oh, it's only, like, four or something. I just didn't feel like getting dressed when I have to get all dressed up tomorrow for graduation and my parents. So… pajama day!" Parker exclaimed with mock enthusiasm before taking in the look on Veronica's face. Her own face became a mask of concern as her forehead crinkled in worry and her eyes softened. "What's wrong? What happened?"

"How do you know something is wrong?" Veronica asked, tilting her head to the side like a curious child. Her voice was steady and strong, it gave away nothing but somehow Parker knew something was wrong.

"You like you've been crying. And that you're going to cry some more before the day is over. Are you okay? Do you want me to call Logan?"

"No, don't call Logan. He probably wouldn't do anything if you did." Veronica said, her voice rising to an almost shout at the panic that Parker would tell Logan she'd been crying. The last thing she was going to need from Logan now was pity that she was upset.

"So you're crying because of Logan?" Parker asked, studying her.

"Yeah, he kind of… well… I mean I'm not totally sure, but…" Veronica couldn't seem to get the words out. It seemed so final, so absolute to be telling someone that the guy that had a tendency to act like she was his world had broken up with her. Maybe she wasn't his world after all.

Veronica had a terrifying, panicked thought before she could stop herself. _What if this was his plan all along? What if since that day we kissed he's been getting closer and closer only to destroy me in one last cruel prank?_ It seemed like something the Logan would do, lots of planning and lots of work but a big pay off. It was something Logan would do, the old Logan. _Her_ Logan however would probably be really hurt that she could think such a thing and would get all broody and sit in the dark pulling at his sleeves if she suggested this. No, Logan wouldn't be able to fake the way he felt about her. His eyes had always been her way of looking into his thoughts and feelings. No matter how good of an actor he was he could never hide the truth from her, she had always known where to look.

"He kind of what? Do you think he cheated? Because if you're not totally sure you should be before anything. Logan doesn't cheat, you told me that." Parker rushed out, her voice panicky and worried that Veronica had reverted back to not trusting Logan. Parker had seen the damage that had done their freshman year of college and didn't want that again.

"What? No, Logan doesn't cheat, but that's not what I meant. Logan broke up with me." Veronica corrected. It'd been so long since Veronica had suspected Logan's betrayal that it seemed positively ridiculous now. Logan doesn't cheat.

"He _what_?" Parker nearly screamed the last word, obviously a break on Logan's side was never something she was prepared for. "He couldn't have, he's so in love with you though. It doesn't make sense."

"What are you screaming about Park?" Mac said as she exited her room, cell phone in hand and dressed in her own pajamas. "Oh, hey Veronica. Why are you two shouting at each other?"

"Logan broke up with Veronica." Parker stated, her voice tinged with disbelief.

"What?" Mac asked before raising her phone back to her face. "Dick, I'll call you later. Girl emergency." There was a pause while Dick replied. "No there will not be a pillow fight, and no I won't call you if there is. There will be boy bashing and ice cream." Mac snapped the phone shut before tossing it unceremoniously on an end table.

"What do you mean he broke up with you? What happened? You seemed to be fine yesterday, in fact you seemed really happy and excited to see him yesterday." Mac asked, sitting on the couch while she did so.

Parker walked into the kitchen and grabbed a pint of ice cream and three spoons before settling on the opposite end of the couch. Veronica sat on a recliner placed a short distance from Mac's end of the couch, still in arms reach. Parker pulled the lid of the ice cream before taking a spoonful and passing it to Mac along with the two extra spoons. The three of them passed the ice cream around in a circle as Veronica related the events of last night and this afternoon.

"So you're sure that there's nothing between you and Duncan?" Mac asked, looking worriedly at Veronica. She remembered when they dated before Lilly Kane had died. They were the perfect couple, the golden couple. Sure Logan and Lilly had been dramatic and bigger than life, breaking up every other week. _The Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake of high school, seemingly perfect for each other but not meant to last_. Mac had overheard Shelley Pomeroy and Meg Manning describe them so in the girls bathroom once, and had almost burst out laughing right there. But Veronica and Duncan had been quiet and sweet, young love's dream and sugary sweet. It was never explained to the school at large why they had broken up.

Then there had been their relationship senior year of high school. They'd seemed to have found each other again, Veronica returning to a bit of the innocence she had lost in the last two years and Duncan finally seemed to be alive again. Mac had been around a little during their relationship this time. And unlike before she was no longer an outcast looking in at one of the two most popular couples in school. This time she was an insider with insider secrets of _the_ most popular couple in school. And things weren't looking good. Duncan's relationship with is comatose ex-girlfriend was taking it's toll on them. Not to mention the fact that Veronica seemed to be playing at being her younger self rather than who she had become. On top of all that Logan was living with Duncan, always there and commenting. Logan was so obviously pining and Veronica was so obviously trying to be oblivious to it that some things with Duncan slipped through the cracks. Like Duncan, who disappeared with his daughter.

"What do you mean am I sure? Of course there's nothing between me and Duncan. Logan's imagining things because of what happened senior year of high school. So I accidentally told Duncan a secret first, big deal." Veronica was getting worried. Had she missed something, had she not told the story right? They were supposed to tell her how to make it better, not worse. Of course if she wanted that she _should_ have gone to Piz's fake girlfriend. She'd known when she came here that Mac and Parker would tell her the truth, tell her like it is.

"Well… maybe you should tell her Parker." Mac looked a little uncomfortable now, and glanced at Parker who looked a little like she was trying to disappear.

"Tell me what? Parker?"

"Well, when Duncan and I had that chat on Easter. I wouldn't have been so hurt if Duncan would have just said that he didn't want to date. I get that he didn't like me, it sucks but whatever, it happens. But when he was all, I'm-in-love-with-someone-else and then told me that he thought it was rude of me to go after all the men in your life. It was like he was scolding me for it, that basically I had dated Logan and Piz who were obviously in love with you and now I was going after him. It was weird. But he basically said you were meant for each other and he didn't want to jeopardize that. Again I say it was weird." Parker had taken three bites of ice cream during her speech and continued to dig nervously into the cardboard container. "I backed off immediately because who wants that? But then I thought that maybe you were going to get back together with him. I mean, Mac explained how things were before and then you were hanging out more and more with him, canceling plans with us and stuff. I just figured that there was something still there."

Veronica felt like rolling her eyes at her own stupidity. She had cancelled plans on everyone, including Logan, in order to help Duncan settle into his life. She'd decorated his house, babysat his daughter, helped with his college application, looked for and interviewed nannies, and on top of all that she'd spent countless hours just sitting and talking with him. She basically started to ignore Logan and their friends. She had no clue if Parker had a new boyfriend, or where Mac was at in her relationship with Dick. She had neglected everyone in favor of Duncan Kane, two time breaker of her heart.

* * *

It hadn't taken any longer to fully realize that she may not have ever let Duncan go. But after the depressing thought that she had clung to something like this all this time they had ordered pizza and watched two of the most depressing movies ever. Sure they weren't meant to be depressing, but when she really paid attention they rung a little truer to life than she wanted them to. _Sixteen Candles_ wasn't as bad _Pretty In Pink_ had been. She'd nearly cried when she realized she was comparing Duncan and Logan to Andrew McCarthy and James Spader, respectively. The comparisons were obvious and depressing and weighed Veronica down as she drove home at nearly ten-thirty.

She decided to detour around the back of the house. The front door was closest to the guest room and he'd definitely hear it open and shut if she went through that way. Logan was like a child in that respect, always had to see the people coming through the front door, needed to get a visual on the comings and goings of his own house. Before she thought it was cute, now the thought of him coming to see her with her puffy eyes and messy hair made her want to vomit. So she'd opened the sliding glass door in the back, it was silent and you couldn't hear it open unless you were in the living room.

And of course Logan would be crashed out on the couch in the living room, making it impossible for her to get into the house undetected. He probably was up planning his European tour, or waiting to ask her how she wanted to split the stuff in the house that they'd picked out together. Like she could have the coffee table and he could keep the couch. Yeah, right. He could keep it all, whatever, he'd paid for most of it anyway. Good thing they hadn't gotten that dog yet, she didn't that she could handle figuring out who would get the puppy if they had. Veronica took another detour around to the side of the house, stopping just outside their bedroom window. She'd left the window open that morning to circulate air, and if you pushed just right on the screen it popped out. Logan had busted it one day when he'd forgotten his keys and she wasn't picking up her cell. All she had to do was lift herself into the window and not let the screen hit the ground. Or let anyone see her, the last thing she needed was to get the cops called because she was breaking into her own house.

Success.

She secured the window screen back into place and flipped on a lamp. Going to the closet she pulled out Logan's graduation outfit and grabbed a few things from the bathroom for him. Opening the door slowly as to not let it creak she slipped out of the room and into the guest room. Depositing the items on the dresser, she slipped back out and into her own room again unnoticed.

Veronica pulled two suitcases out from under the bed and laid them, open, on the bed. Emptying out her drawers and her side of the closet were easy, everything fit into the two cases easily. Glancing around the bedroom she started to consider the things in it that actually meant something. The framed photos on the dressers of her and Logan in different clichéd poses and situations. The obligatory photo that Logan had taken of them kissing that sat next to his side of the bed. Logan could keep that, she didn't need the reminder, but she wanted the photo of the two of them at Christmas. Packing a few photos of them with various friends she heard the door knob rattle.

_He finally noticed I'm home_. Veronica thought as she stood still, waiting for him to call out to her. The knob rattled a little more but then stopped and she heard his footsteps fade away as he obviously walked down the hall to his own bedroom. She sunk to the floor and leaned her back against the bed. _He just walked away._

With new determination she finished packing her things and set the suitcases next to the door. She'd take them tomorrow afternoon after the graduation ceremony. She have Mac get Dick to distract Logan to give her enough time to get home, get her bags and get out.

This was officially the end.

_And did they get you to trade  
__Your heroes for ghosts?  
__Hot ashes for trees?  
__Hot air for a cool breeze?  
__Cold comfort for change?  
__And did you exchange  
__A walk on part in the war  
__For a lead role in a cage?  
__How I wish, how I wish you were here._

Logan stood staring at the dark, empty and slightly cold looking beach house that stood glumly against the back drop of a moonlit beach. If he was truly honest with himself it probably looked the same now as it had when he lived there a little over a year ago. He was avoiding going inside, couldn't bring himself to walk up the front sidewalk and go inside. He walked back around to the back of the SUV and popped it open, pulling his luggage out. Just the smaller bag tonight, he'd get the larger one in the morning.

It hadn't been as hard to unlock the front door as he had thought it would be. The lights were all off and the air smelled old, stale and dusty. There wouldn't be any food in the kitchen so he'd have to wait until morning before he could get anything to eat. Pulling the suitcase behind him he threw open the bedroom door and stopped just inside the room. The bed was still made up as it was that afternoon, her key still lying in the center of the bed. Spinning on his heel, Logan rushed from the room and into the guestroom. Flopping on the bed fully clothed he finally succumbed to the jetlag that had been plaguing him for the three hours he'd been back in California.

* * *

Early morning came quickly. 5am quickly. Logan regretted passing seven thirty the night before now, but he was up and there was no way he was going to get back to sleep. Pulling on the shoes he couldn't remember kicking off he trudged out of the house with wallet and car keys in hand. A quick trip to Starbucks was in order, then maybe some surfing. It'd been a year since he'd surfed and he was looking forward to getting back in the figurative saddle.

He was in the ocean by six, and out around ten, four hours of surfing under his belt. Hungry Logan decided to go grocery shopping, changing into board shorts and a t-shirt out of the back of his SUV, anything to avoid going back to that empty house. If he really drug his feet he could avoid going home for a few more hours.

* * *

By seven Logan couldn't think of a single thing left for him to do besides go home, so he pulled up in the driveway and killed the engine. Sitting there staring at the house again he took in a deep breath and let out a defeated sigh.

Logan took his time unloading the groceries into the house and then unpacking them into the cupboards and fridge. The last item left on the counter was the beer he'd bought. A case of longnecks, a special gift to himself. Like a welcome home and your life sucks party all rolled into one, too bad none of his friends would be attending. He opened the case and sucked down two bottles without taking a breath. After the fourth he started to slow down, drink them slower and let the warm feeling of intoxication slip over him. It was around the eighth beer that he decided that the kitchen wasn't comfortable enough for his party and stumbled into the living room.

Logan was on his tenth beer and third shot of tequila he had found under the couch–left there after he drank himself into a stupor for three days after graduation–when there had been a knock on the door.

Summoning the strength and ability to yell out for whoever it was to go away, Logan was interrupted by the sound of footsteps. As the footsteps got closer an all to familiar voice rang out.

"Logan? You here?" Duncan's voice was annoyingly sober. "Lilly saw you come in about an hour ago. She wants you to come over for dessert, we're having…"

Duncan stopped talking when he spotted the prone form on the floor. Logan was sprawled out between the couch and the coffee table, only his upper torso propped up by the couch. He looked like he was having trouble focusing and was probably going to pass out any second.

Logan finally looked up at him, tears and anger in his eyes. There was a white shirt clutched in his fist, a small shrimp emblazoned on it. The shirt was wrinkled so badly there was a good chance that it had spent the last year stuck between the couch cushions. And with the way Logan had been pressing it to his nose there was an even better chance it still smelled like the owner.

"I see you're back." Duncan stated numbly, sometimes he really hated his best friend, but he hated seeing him like this even more. Duncan regretted the way things had gone down last May and had wanted to make things right. As it may be true that Logan and Veronica didn't belong together, he may have a bit too heavy handed in trying to split them up. It would have been better if it had happened naturally, things would have ended up differently. Like he would be with her right now, if she didn't blame him a little for the break up they'd have gotten back together. Duncan had known that was where things were going to go, but then he'd been too obvious with his attempts at breaking them up.

"Whathe fuh-ck ah yeh doin in her?" Logan slurred, his grip on the t-shirt slackening a bit. "Wha? Ah don h-ear yeh sayn noffin…"

"Maybe because I can't understand you." Duncan leaned down over Logan and tried to lift him. It took three tries, but he finally got him standing and moving slowly toward the bathroom. Once there he deposited him on the floor and went to get a glass of water. He returned to Logan already retching into the toilet, gripping the edge of the bowl tightly.

"You can't do this, Logan. I won't let you kill yourself over a girl that wasn't meant for you. She wasn't meant for us, she wasn't meant to stay and become whatever it was we wanted her to be." Duncan was starting to lecture, could hear the inflection in his voice. He was lecturing and he was lying. Of course Veronica was meant for him, but Logan was already in too deep of a depression to handle a truth they both would kill him.

"Go way, I don need yew. I juss wanna be lone withhhh ma baybeez shirt." With that Logan laid his head down and closed his eyes, clutching the small shirt to his chest and started snoring loudly.

* * *

Logan woke with a start and smiled at his surroundings. He could smell Veronica on him, around him. She was everywhere and before he could stop himself he reached across the bed for her. His hand encountered empty space and his head thundered from the movement he made in rolling over, a small groan of pain escaped him.

"Doesn't seem like such a good idea anymore does it? Drinking yourself into a coma." Duncan's voice boomed from somewhere to the right of the bed. Cracking an eye open, Logan winced at the brightness of the morning and Duncan's towering and angry figure leaning against the wall with his arms crossed in front of his chest.

"I don't know what is wrong with you, why you feel the need to do shit like this, but one of these days you're going to kill yourself. Drink yourself to death, drive into oncoming traffic. You know, _die_." Duncan uncrossed his arms and stood up straight, separating himself from the wall. "Sober up. Grow up."

Duncan slammed out of the bedroom, obviously making sure the door made as much noise as possible. Logan rolled over and pulled a pillow over his head, groaning. Maybe if he pressed down on his face hard enough he'd suffocate and wouldn't have to deal with all this.

* * *

It'd been a week since Logan had last seen Duncan or Lilly. The avoidance techniques he had once learned from she-who-shall-not-be-named had been perfected.

After his one miserable night in the beach house he had moved into one of the guestrooms in Dick's house that he semi-shared with Mac. Dick and him still worked well as roommates, but Mac barely tolerated him when Dick was in the room, glaring at him. But when it was just the two of them, Mac pretended like he didn't exist. Logan was reminded of how _she_ used to act with Dick. It was funny how things came full circle, now it was _Dick's_ girlfriend that couldn't stand _him_.

Still, there was only so long he could live with Dick and avoid Duncan and the beach house. And apparently a week was it.

He'd signed on a house, inking his name on the dotted line to live in a large and empty house just like the one he grew up in. Now came the time for him to return to the Beach House and retrieve any and all things he thought he'd be able to tolerate in the new house. Nothing sentimental, only the things he would absolutely need.

Walking into the beach house he cringed at the sound the door made as it opened. A soft swoosh that reminded him of how he used to wait to hear it, to hear her come home. Logan wondered if she did the same thing, waited to hear the swooshing of the door swinging open. Followed by footsteps.

Logan was an expert on footsteps. They told so much about a person and their mood. Lilly's were springy and on the quiet side, once in a while so quiet she could sneak up on him and scare the shit out of him. Duncan's were heavy and even, a steady footfall that landed just loud enough to let everyone know he was there. His mother's steps had been light and dainty, barely heard. But when she was drunk she sounded like a lumberjack. His dad's had been loud and over-exaggerated. Unless he felt like hitting something, then they were silent, never heard. Veronica's had been bouncy when she was in a good mood, and when she wasn't she stomped. Loudly.

Logan set his keys on table next to the door and started to run through a list of things in the house that he'd need for his new one. He froze. He could hear footsteps, steady ones. Duncan was here.

"Where you been?"

"It's been a week and I don't have that many friends, honestly you could have put a little more effort into it." Logan replied, walking into the living room, passing Duncan in the doorway, smirk firmly in place.

"You've been at Dick's the last week, moping and feeling sorry for yourself. I meant the last year." Duncan settled on the couch as Logan paced in front of the coffee table.

"Europe. Next obvious question." Logan rolled his eyes, letting himself appear way more relaxed than he really was. On the inside he was freaking out, having some sort of panic attack at being back in this house.

"She left. Veronica left us both behind, moved on and away. We're the past now. So why can't we be us again?" Duncan asked, his gaze moving from the arm of the recliner to the back-left leg of the coffee table, unable to shift to meet Logan's.

"What exactly is it you're saying DK? You wanna go steady?" Logan stopped pacing and raised his eyebrow at his former best friend.

"I'm saying that she left you behind. She left me behind too. Wanna be left behind together?" Duncan's voice held a hint of hope that made Logan want to hit him. In fact, it almost made him want to hit him more than the actual words.

"Yeah, why not? Of course, this togetherness won't be taking place here. I just came to pack up a few things for the new place." Logan's words were welcoming, but his voice and tone were clipped and uninviting. Logan hoped that it got his message across. That he didn't trust Duncan.

"Yeah, well… Let me know when we can get together. Maybe we can get together for a poker game? You, me, Dick and the rest of the guys?" Duncan's voice was slightly whiney. He heaved himself off the couch and strode towards the back door.

"I'll let you know." Logan affected a much chipper voice as he followed Duncan to the door and waved as he walked across Logan's yard to his own next door. Logan flipped the lock on the sliding glass door, relieved that Duncan was gone.

Looking around the house at all the things he should pack up and take to the new house he felt overwhelmed. Too much. It was all too much and he couldn't deal with it right now. His mind kept replaying the one real thing that Logan had heard in everything Duncan had said.

Veronica had moved on.

Logan walked back through the house, swiping up the T-shirt laying over the back of the couch, the screen print of a shrimp barely visible. He couldn't take anything from this house, even the potato peeler had sentimental value.

_We're just two lost souls  
__Swimming in a fish bowl,  
__Year after year,  
__Running over the same old ground.  
__What have we found?  
__The same old fears.  
__Wish you were here._


	12. End of the Circle PART A

**Title:** Symmetry 7a: End of the Circle

**Pairings/Characters:** Logan/Veronica, Duncan _(mentions of: Duncan/OC and Veronica/Duncan)_

**Word Count:** 6,737 (6,609 without lyrics)

**Rating:** R (a little bit of language and little bit of violence)

**Summary:** There are similarities to the past and now. History always repeats itself, whether we realize it or not and breaking the circle is always the most difficult part of it all.

**Spoilers/Warnings:** Everything to 3.17 (Debasement Tapes)

Future Fic

**Disclaimer:** None of it's mine, and if it was it would all be going different right now. So don't sue, because I have nothing and it'd be a waste of both our time. The Song is _By Your Side_ by Sade

* * *

**Symmetry  
7a  
End of the Circle**

_You think I'd leave your side baby  
__You know me better than that  
__You think I'd leave you down when you're down on your knees  
__I wouldn't do that  
__I'll tell you you're right when you want  
__And if only you could see into me  
__ha ah ah ah ah ah_

Logan knew he should have folded, but he had kept right on betting anyway. And that is why he was currently out of chips and wondering if it would be a good idea to throw his shoe in for good measure.

Probably not.

"Well, if Echolls is done losing miserably, I think I'll collect my winnings and get back to the little woman." Dick announced joyfully, scooping his chips up into a heap in front of him. "I'd like to cash out my winnings."

Wallace rolled his eyes and got out the cash box, slapping a fifty down on the table. They could all afford higher than the ten dollar buy in, but any higher and the friendly game would turn out to be not so friendly.

"I guess it figures that I lost, since I'm suddenly so lucky in love right?" Logan joked, knowing full well that he was like to catch some flack for the cheesiness of it.

"Yeah, figures." Wallace remarked, pulling his jacket off the back of his chair and shrugging into it. "Finally starting to steal lines from the movies huh? With your record, you'd think you'd have a little more originality to it."

"That was a Drew Barrymore movie, right?" Dick asked as he walked towards the door as well.

"Whatever." Logan replied, lamely. "You gonna take a stab at it too Piz?"

"Naw, I'm just glad I'm not the lamest one in the group tonight. Usually you're the one winning and I'm the one losing every hand." The goofy grin didn't seem to match up with his new, more professional hair cut. Logan kind of missed the floppy hair, it had matched Piz's personality better. But he guessed it didn't really work in an office setting.

"Go. Get out of here before I decide I care that you just called me lame." Logan said, the laugh evident in his voice, as he started to clean up the mess on the table. "Dick! You'll send my girl back when you get home, right?"

"Yeah man, as soon as Fennel here gives me a ride home I'll send her on back. Wouldn't want your schmoopy ass to be here all alone now, would we?" Dick yelled from just outside the back door, before running to Wallace's car.

"You gonna get going man? Because Veronica'll be home in about forty-five minutes and you have to be gone." Logan said jauntily as he cleaned up the mess the small group of friends had made during their game. Tilting his head in Duncan's direction so he could get a better look at him, he continued, "After that depressing game she'll have to rebuild my ego, and that's not something I want you around for."

As Logan stacked the glasses so he could carry them to the kitchen, Duncan flopped onto the couch and sighed. Logan rolled his eyes, knowing that the 'flop and sigh' was Duncan's code for 'I want to talk'.

"What's on your mind man? And make it snappy." Logan asked as he came back from dropping the glasses off in the kitchen sink.

"I think I'm getting divorced." Duncan replied, causing Logan to drop the bowl of Doritos he was holding.

"Fuck! What did you say?" Logan asked, staring at his friend in shock for a moment before dropping to his knees and beginning to collect the scattered chips. What a mess. Everything was always a mess. "Why?"

"About a week after we got back from the honeymoon, Lindsay decided that she wanted different sheets on the bed in the guest room when her cousin came. It's not that her cousin was even spending more than an hour here, just a pit-stop on her way to LA, but Lindsay wanted the fancier sheets for 'the tour'. It's so fucking annoy—"

"_Why_ are you getting divorced? Not why did she change the sheets." Logan interrupted him, when Duncan went off on a tangent he rarely got himself back on his original topic.

"Well, she found a pair of panties in the sheets."

"How did they get…? Who's were they? When? You need to explain a little better, because you've left some things out." Logan stuttered out before it dawned on him. "I found you naked in the guestroom bed when I went to get you on your wedding day. Please tell me…"

"Yeah, that was it. I kind of slept with someone else… the night before I got married."

"What the fuck were you thinking? No wonder you made the bed before we left, you were freaking out about it. I just thought you got drunk and stripped down. I never imagined that you would do something like this. Since when do you cheat? Since when do you do shit like this? Who the hell was it?" Logan was stomping over to the closet where the vacuum was kept, after pacing over the Doritos he prayed they would come out of the rug.

"Well, since never. It was a one time thing, I think. I don't even know what came over me. And I wasn't drunk, I was totally sober and making one of the dumbest decisions of my life. There is seriously something wrong with me." Duncan answered, leaning his head back and throwing an arm over his eyes. "Anyway, Lindsay found the panties. She knew they weren't hers, and nobody has ever stayed in the room. She just knew. According to her I've been acting weird."

"Yeah, of course you have been, you've never been able to lie. And God knows you go all freaking robotic when you're hiding something. Thing is, have you tried to work it out?" Logan was starting to get nervous. Lonely and single Duncan hung out in Logan's house all the time.

"No, but she hasn't given me much chance to try and fix it." Duncan said, heaving himself off the couch and lumbering towards the back door. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow? Maybe we could hang out and talk a bit?"

Rolling his eyes, Logan agreed and walked Duncan the rest of the way out. Logan waved at Duncan as he drove off, watching as Duncan's SUV passed Veronica's outside the driveway. Logan couldn't help but notice how Duncan honked at Veronica and waved. Veronica barely raised her hand, looking like she was barely holding back the urge to just ignore him.

Veronica parked the car and slid out, bouncing up the walkway to where Logan was standing in the door. She threw her arms around his shoulders before he had realized she had gotten so close. Veronica's lips attached to the side of Logan's neck and he heard a faint giggle come out of her.

"So I heard you might need a little cheering up."

"I lost, baby. I lost big." Logan whined despondently, wrapping his arms around his girlfriend's waist and lifting her up, carrying her into the house.

* * *

Veronica's head lay in crook of Logan's arm, nuzzling her nose into his chest. She sigh happily as she let her hand travel down to his stomach and started rubbing in soft, circular motions.

"Mmmm… I like when you do that." Logan moaned out, squirming around on the bed until he was lying on his side, propped up on his elbow.

"I was comfy." Veronica groaned as her head fell and landed softly on the mattress. "What's up?"

"Duncan might be getting divorced."

Veronica shot up, almost smacking her head against his own.

"_What_?"

"Lindsay found panties in the spare bedroom and knew Duncan had fucked around. I'm not sure if Duncan conceded and admitted to it to her or if he's maintaining that he doesn't know what she was talking about. Either way, there's lawyers in their futures." Logan dropped back on the bed. "I can't believe DK's getting divorced. First Piz, now the Donut? What the hell?"

Veronica fell back next to him, "yeah, it's weird."

"Granted, they're probably the only two of our friends that will ever divorce." Logan stated. "Wallace is so head over heels with Cassie and Sammy there's no way they'd ever split. If Dick and Mac ever break up I'm pretty sure we'd all kill him, because we know that it'd probably be his fault. And Parker, well, I don't know why she and Michael would ever divorce. According to Michael, the sun rises and sets on her."

Veronica flipped over so she was lying on top of Logan. She straddled his lap, and ground her hips down onto his burgeoning erection. _Time to change the subject_. "No more talk of breaking up."

Veronica met Logan's lips halfway for a kiss, before long they were rolling around on the bed again.

_Oh when you're cold  
__I'll be there  
__Hold you tight to me_

Veronica peeled the self-stick tab off the medium-sized cardboard envelope. Hopefully the papers inside wouldn't bend in transit, it would be best if these particular papers made it to the intended destination without crinkling or anything on them at all.

Logan breezed through the kitchen and reached for the coffee pot, having just gotten up and needing to fuel up before his "man-date" with Duncan.

"What's that?"

"Evidence."

"You got a job? When?" Logan asked eagerly, he hadn't known she had even started looking.

"Not exactly a job, more like a public service." She replied as she sealed up the envelope.

"Public service and evidence? Please tell me it's a corrupt politician. It's the president isn't it?" Logan straightened in excitement.

"I though you liked the president, you lookin for flaws now?" Veronica asked with a raised eyebrow.

"No I like him. I still get a little thrill out of you bringing down authority figures, makes me feel young again." Logan ran his hand through his hair, trying to look older and distinguished.

"Shut up, you're younger than me, and if it makes you feel 'young again' that means you're old. I'm not old, so you can't be old." Veronica rolled her eyes as she finished writing the address on the front of the envelope in a black sharpie.

"Why are you mailing evidence to the Massachusetts Bar Association?" Logan asked, turning his head so he could read the words she had written.

"Because that's where you send the evidence if you want a lawyer to get disbarred." She said casually as she moved to refill her own coffee mug.

"Who you getting—Wait, isn't Max a lawyer in Boston? Boston, _Massachusetts_?" Logan interrupted himself.

"Correct. He is a lawyer in good ole Boston, Mass!" Veronica said cheerfully. "Good ole Boston lawyer who accepted bribes to let evidence 'disappear' and 'forget' about witnesses. I didn't say anything at the time, but I've been thinking about it… and it was really wrong."

"Of course, you kept all this evidence as a testimony to your trust and faith in your relationship?" Logan asked, amused.

"No, I kept it because I knew that one day I was going to want to screw him over." Veronica watched as Logan leaned over the counter to pick up his duffel bag. "Have fun on your boy-date."

"I will, have fun with the wedding plans, baby." Logan leaned down to kiss Veronica, but she leaned back at the last second.

"When we get home tonight, we should talk about some things, okay?" Veronica said, suddenly so very serious.

"Yeah, of course." Logan agreed. He kissed her softly on the lips, lingering just a bit, before heading out the door. Suddenly he wasn't sure if he should be too quick to get home. He had planned on trying to cut his afternoon with DK short, get home to his girl sooner. But now it didn't seem like such a great plan. Now he had a feeling of dread.

Nothing good ever came out of talking.

* * *

"Veronica?" Logan asked over the phone, bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet. He had been at the beach already for twenty minutes and still no Duncan. He was starting to feel like he'd been stood up. By a guy. "You still at home baby? Because Donut ditched me and I thought maybe I could—"

"Hold on a sec, Logan. There's someone at the door." Veronica said as she tugged her robe together, tightening the sash. She swung open the front door, relieved when it didn't let out a loud creak. Logan had finally gotten around to oiling it.

There stood Duncan, looking grim and slightly determined. Veronica couldn't remember the last time she saw that emotion on his face, determination. Usually he was completely too detached from whatever situation was going on at the time.

"Logan, Duncan is here." Veronica said into the phone, trying to give a little more life into the monotone that always seemed to take over when she saw Duncan these days. She couldn't help it. She had really spoke to him since their brilliant display of stupidity the night before his wedding. And since she'd moved back home to be with Logan she'd quite successfully avoided all contact with him with the clever charade of 'wedding plans'. It killed two birds with one stone. No Duncan and she was closer to marrying Logan in what was turning out to be her dream wedding.

Duncan shook his head, signaling Veronica to not call Logan back to the house to retrieve his errant friend.

"Why the hell is he there? I thought he was supposed to meet me here!" Logan yelled into the phone, pissed that Duncan had misunderstood the plan. That meant that Logan was going to have to run all the way home to pick him up and then they'd have to drive back up the beach. He'd spend most of his time in the car and miss all the waves. This was bullshit.

"I thought we were supposed to meet here. Tell him that I'll drive up, but since I thought we were going to stop and get breakfast I'll be a little late. I have to grab something to eat. Tell him to go on and start without me." Duncan said in the same monotone that Veronica had used.

Veronica repeated the message to Logan and it seemed to calm him.

"Okay, well, tell him to flag me out of the water when he gets here." Logan replied, lifting his surfboard up out of the sand and walking back towards his car to put his cell phone away. "I love you, and I'll see you in a few hours."

"Love you too, I'm picking up Chinese food for dinner, okay?" Veronica asked as her eyes slid closed, erasing Duncan from her sight.

"Yeah, okay." Logan agreed before disconnecting, but Veronica held the phone to her ear for another couple of seconds.

"If you want to be able to surf at all you should get going, since you need to stop for food." Veronica said in a low, toneless voice, setting her phone down on the table next to the door.

"I've already eaten. But we have to talk." Duncan said, as she knew he would. Duncan always ate a full fifteen minutes before he planned to get in the water. He was responsible like that. But when it came to not sleeping with the ex before his wedding and making sure he was fully committed to his wife-to-be that was another story.

Veronica was responsible like that though, she ate and swam five minutes later and sometimes she even spoke to strangers. But she was fully committed to Logan and she intended to be responsible with his heart and their relationship.

"I don't want to do this." Veronica said before pivoting on her heal and walking away from her ex. She made it all the way to the living room before Duncan's fingers curled around her wrist and stopped her, turned her around.

"Too bad, because this has to be taken care of." Duncan said, looking her straight in the eye. Some of that determination in his expression had made its way into his voice. _Dammit_.

"Actually, I'm kicking you out. So I don't have to deal with you or this right now. So get out." Veronica gritted out, trying to yank her arm out of his grasp.

Duncan shook his head slightly as he let his grip loosen and her wrist pulled out of his own hand with only a small resistance on his part.

Veronica turned and began walking towards her bedroom again.

"Just so you know, I'm going to tell him."

It was all Duncan said, a simple sentence that could mean so many things. Duncan could tell Logan about any number of things. How he escaped the country and the FBI with his daughter. Where he had been all those years. What the secret to life was. How many licks it took to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop. But none of those options were what Veronica knew he intended to tell Logan.

"Why? What's the point in _you _telling him anything?" Veronica asked, curious as to why Duncan was so dead set on being the one to deliver the news.

"He should know the truth. I have to tell him the truth about this, about you. About us. It's not fair to him, just like it's not fair to Lindsay." Duncan had begun to pace around the living room.

"The truth? Why is it that Logan only needs to know the truth when it hurts him?" Veronica asked, curious to what Duncan's ultimate reasoning would be. What Duncan had to tell himself to justify his actions. She already planned to tell Logan about this anyway, but what she needed to know now was _Duncan's_ motives.

"Logan needs to know the truth whether it hurts him or not." He stopped pacing long enough to give Veronica an indignant glare and to put his hands on his hips for a moment.

"When you left senior year you said you didn't want Logan to know the truth, it would hurt him and he didn't _need _know." Veronica shot back, before giving Duncan several more examples of Duncan's previous reasons for not being fully honest with his best friend.

"Those times were different. This isn't the same."

"No they weren't. And yes it is. You need for it to be this way in order to get your way, what you want. If Logan doesn't know then he marries me." Veronica stepped intimidatingly into Duncan's path. "And that doesn't work for you, does it?"

"Not when you're supposed to be with me." Duncan stepped closer to her, trying to tower over her. Intimidate her.

"That's where you're wrong Duncan. We're not _meant_ to be together." Veronica wanted to take a step back, Duncan's close proximity was started to make her uncomfortable and the strain of looking up at him was hurting her neck. Logan never stood this close to her, never made her look up to him like this.

"I get that you're mad, I shouldn't have gone through with the wedding, but I was a little confused afterwards, with you disappearing from bed before I was up. I get that. But I'm willing to fix it, to end it with Lindsay and be with you. I was always willing for that, I just didn't know that was what you wanted." Duncan's voice was pleading with her. Veronica got the distinct impression that he was still trying to convince himself of this logic, as well as her.

"I left because it was a mistake and I shouldn't have done it. Not to mention I didn't want Logan to get there and find me with you. No it's not fair to Lindsay and you shouldn't have gone through with the wedding, but that's because she deserves better than what you're giving her, not because we're meant for each other." Veronica sunk down and into the couch, letting out a deep breath and praying for the patience to deal with Duncan.

"We've always managed to find our way to each other. Before Lilly died we were so happy—" Duncan began,

"And you broke up with me without telling me because your mother informed you that it was possible that we could be half-siblings." Veronica commented.

"—And senior year, after everything we had been through, we still found each other—"

"Because I was on the rebound and we broke up that time because you had to kidnap your illegitimate daughter from your dead, comatose ex-girlfriend's psycho parents. And had to flee the country." She interrupted again.

"—Your senior year at Hearst, when I finally was able to return to you. We didn't reunite then, but I understood why. You didn't trust me to stick around then, but—"

"We didn't get back together because you broke up me and Logan. And in doing so you caused him to run away to Europe. And pushed me to move to the East Coast and not return home for almost five years."

"—I'm still here. And then a few months ago, before my wedding—" Duncan continued desperately.

"I made a mistake because I was miserable in my current relationship and seeing Logan with Nicole drove me to a point of insanity and desperation. Something I don't plan on repeating… ever." Veronica held up a hand to silence Duncan. "You and I could never make it work Duncan, not then and not now. You will always be my first love, and you would be the love of my life if I still were the Veronica I was before Lilly was killed. If I was still that person we would be totally compatible. But I'm not her and we're not right for each other. I can't be want you want or live up to the idealized version of me that you have in your head. But Logan doesn't do that to me. He knows me, all of me. All the parts and all the pieces. You could only love parts of me, where Logan loves all of me. Do you see that? Do you even care if I'm happy?"

Duncan's mouth opened and shut a few times, trying to find an argument to Veronica's statement. Answers to her questions. Something–_anything_–to change her mind. She just shook her head and started towards her bedroom.

"Just get out of here." With that Veronica entered the bedroom she shared with Logan and shut the door.

A few minutes later, as she was finishing up her make up, she heard the front door open and shut.

_When you're on the outside baby and you can't get in  
__I will show you you're so much better than you know  
__when you're lost and you're alone and you cant get back again  
__I will find you darling and I will bring you home_

Duncan slowly opened the door to his house, not swinging the door open but keeping his hand on the doorknob and all times. Like he was going to pull it shut again at any moment. Duncan nearly tiptoed inside, making as little noise as he could. As if he were trying to not alert anyone else to his presence.

"You avoiding Lindsay now or something?" Logan asked as he breezed through the doorway of the mansion, not caring who heard or saw.

"Don't have to. She's taken Lilly and set up shop at the Grand." Duncan said with a shrug, sliding the door closed.

Logan rolled his eyes, then his shoulders. He needed a shower, something to get all the sand of his body, the sand that was trapped between him and his clothes. But not here, not in this house. He could wait until he got home. Maybe Veronica would join him.

"I got to get going man. Veronica should be home from her wedding stuff meeting thing and I need to find out how that went." When Logan saw that Duncan was about to protest he added, "and she wanted to talk when I got home too, before dinner."

Logan doubled back out of the kitchen and through the foyer towards the front door. He was only a couple feet away before he remembered that Veronica had told him to pick out his Best Man by the end of the day and ask. She needed measurements.

"Oh yeah, Veronica said that if you're going to be my Best Man she's going to need your measurements for your tux, like, pronto. So what do ya say? Are you going to do it?"

"Listen Logan, about me and Veronica, something happened that I think you should know about. It's not right going into this when it… I mean, you'll find out sooner or later, and I think…" Duncan stops to take a deep breath, seemingly like he's about to regret what he was about to tell his former friend. Truth is, Duncan can't remember the last time they really were friends. They've been competitors for so long it's washed everything else away. If Logan had stayed away from the one person that belonged to Duncan they might still be friends. But he didn't, and now Duncan was going to have to do what was best for all of them.

"DK? You have to hurry it up, man. Veronica is waiting and… wait." The sudden realization of Duncan's words seem to hit him finally and he stopped. "Did you say something happened between you and Veronica? Like recently?"

Nodding, Duncan opened his mouth to continue, but was interrupted by Logan.

"Are you going to tell me why you guys suddenly stopped speaking to each other? Because I've been wondering…" Logan trailed off, a feeling of apprehension overwhelming him at the look in Duncan's eyes.

"Partially, but it's more than that. I should never have married Lindsay, not when I knew what I knew. But I was scared, you know? Sometimes we go with what we want to be true instead of what really is true. But I messed up and now there are more people involved, and everyone is going to get hurt. I wish I could have stopped it when I had the chance, when there were less people I care about involved." Duncan's voice was quiet and seemed sorry, but Logan could tell that it was fake. Duncan Kane had never truly been sorry for anything in his life. And he had definitely never been really sorry for anything he had ever done or said to Logan Echolls.

"Don't." Logan couldn't handle hearing anymore than what Duncan had already said. Duncan was going to imply that Veronica had cheated, he knew it. Duncan knew that the one thing Logan wouldn't tolerate was unfaithfulness and he was going to exploit that the best he could. "Don't say anything to me about Veronica, because I don't want to hear it. If she's been hiding something, she'll tell me. Even if it takes a bit longer, she'll tell me. In the end she always does and I want to hear it from her."

Duncan reached out a hand to stop Logan from leaving. He had to tell Logan this now. He was prepared now. Lilly wasn't here so she couldn't witness the violence and he was fully prepared for the fight.

Logan flinched when Duncan's heavy hand landed on his shoulder. Actually flinched. It was the first time since his dad was murdered that he felt helpless. He felt emotionally beaten down, like his shirt was already off and Duncan was holding a belt.

"Get. your hand. off of me." Logan ground the words out, anger and adrenaline taking over. His fight or flight instincts had kicked in, the way the always did with his dad. With his father he had taken the physical abuse, allowed himself to be brought down to that level. Feeling he deserved it. And up until now he had taken Duncan's own form of abuse. Up until now Logan had let Duncan treat him like he was second rate, like he didn't deserve a best friend that was loyal to him. Duncan had always taken the stance that he was better than Logan, that he deserved more than Logan did.

After having a mother that drank and popped pills and eventually abandoned him to a father that used him for his own image publicly and beat the hell out of him in private. After having a sister who had purposely turned a blind eye on years of abuse, ignoring the bruises and broken bones in favor of favoritism. After being with Lilly, who cheated constantly and made him feel like he didn't deserve to be fully loved. Logan let himself believe that he didn't merit everything that Duncan did. Logan let Duncan push him around and treat him like crap. And Logan was done.

One hard swing and Logan's fist connected with Duncan's left eye.

"Don't touch me. And don't go near my fiancée." Logan looked down on Duncan, who had been knocked to the ground from the force of the blow. "We're done. Best Man offer rescinded, I should've just asked Dick in the first place."

And with the last word, Logan swiveled on his heel and walked out Duncan's front door.

_And if you want to cry  
__I am here to dry your eyes  
__And in no time  
__You'll be fine_

Slamming through the door Logan cringed at the noise it made, at the message it was sending to the single occupant inside. Logan took a deep breath to calm himself before walking into the empty, dark kitchen. No Veronica, and no Chinese food.

After a quick search of the house he failed to turn up any trace of his fiancée or their dinner. She probably wasn't home yet, probably still out planning their wedding and picking up their dinner and starting their life. And he was here in the house, brooding over some stupid thing Duncan said to him, something that probably meant something entirely different to him than to Veronica.

Logan flopped back onto the couch, sinking deep into the cushions and letting out a long and deep sigh. Between surfing, worrying about how Veronica was handling the wedding plans, his argument and subsequent fight with Duncan, he was exhausted. Leaning his head back on the cushions and the arm of the couch he let his eyes close, but the sound of the door sliding open almost silently caused them to snap back open.

"Logan?" Veronica's voice floated down the hallway, sounding sweet, happy and somehow a little nervous. The thought of her nervousness set the knots in Logan's stomach twisting again. He remembered the feeling of dread that he had felt that morning when she had first told him she wanted to "_talk about some things_".

He heard her walk from the entrance of their house to the kitchen, and the rustle plastic bags followed the sound of her footsteps. The heavy clinking sound of the plates being pulled out of the cabinet echoed throughout the house, as did the sound of silverware and glasses. The fridge opening and shutting, her pouring drinks. Finally he heard the sound of her walking into the living room.

"Logan? Why didn't you answer me?" She asked, her voice curious, but there was still that slight apprehension in it.

"Tired." He croaked out, looking up at her as she stood in front of him.

"Dinner." Veronica jerked her head back in the direction of the kitchen, where she had set up their dinner already.

Logan stood and followed her to the kitchen, taking his seat across from her at the table. The knot of fear grew exponentially at the sight of the grim look on her face as she took her own seat. Logan gritted his teeth. "You said you needed to talk about some things?"

"Yeah." Veronica's voice didn't have that self-assured quality it normally had. In fact, she sounded a little weak, somewhat off balance. Logan swallowed hard, trying to get past the lump deep in his throat.

"I thought, maybe, since… well, since we're getting married in just over a month we should do something we've never quite managed to do before." She looked down at her chow mein, it almost looked like she had lost her appetite.

"And what is that exactly?"

"Be honest. Let each other in on our secrets." Veronica took a deep breath before continuing, letting her words rush out with the air. "No matter how much it hurts."

"Please…" Logan pleaded, his eyes closing as he pushed his meal away from him.

"I need you to know some things about me before I let you marry me. I need you to understand that… well, I'm not a good person and I'm not as strong as I might pretend to be. I need you know these things about me, and understand them. Accept them. I need to you to look past them."

Logan opened his eyes and looked into the ones across the table from him. Veronica looked him in the eye briefly before averting hers. Usually Logan was the one feeling like he had screwed up, like he was the one that should be sorry and ashamed and that Veronica only ever blamed him for things, never herself. He had always thought that that was the proper order of things, that it was the way things should be. Now he was starting to see that she did blame herself for things, she just never showed it.

"I need you to know that senior year of high school I used Duncan to try to get over you. I dated him because I gave you an option, pride and revenge or me. You didn't chose me. I need you to know that freshman year of college I couldn't admit you were right about me, so I hit you. Like everyone else in your life I hit you and then left you. I don't know what I hated myself for more, the hitting or the leaving. Senior year of college I took you for granted. We were back together and I thought that it would just stay that way, with little to no work from me. When it didn't work out I didn't fight to keep you, I accepted that it was over and left. Worse yet, I let your insecurities over my supposed lingering feelings for Duncan convince me that they existed. So instead of reassuring you that they didn't I started to believe that they were there, I just hadn't noticed them. I left and you were out of my life for nearly five years." Veronica took a deep breath and reached for the glass of Root Beer in front of her, chancing a glance toward Logan. His eyes were shut and his bottom lip was pulled between his teeth, and he was gently gnawing on it.

"Five years and all of them were spent in a sort of depression. I used Max shamelessly at the beginning, praying that he would be able to help me to forget you finally. It didn't help and when I couldn't stop comparing and I refused to move in with him he finally lost it. I had the bruise for a week and a half." Logan sat up straight at that, he eyes open and cold, glaring over her shoulder at an invisible enemy, his fists clenched on the table. Veronica took a deep breath and pressed forward.

"I still don't know why I stayed, still don't know why I didn't turn and walk out right then and there. Why I didn't hit him back, I had physical training from the FBI. I just couldn't though, it's like I wasn't myself without you there. You had been in my life for so long, I couldn't really remember a time when you weren't a major part of it, and without you it didn't work right. _I_ didn't work right." Veronica took another gulp of soda, trying to gather the courage for the next bit.

"So I did stupid things. Things that ruin other things, good things. Big things—"

"Like with Duncan?" Logan interrupted, suddenly eager to see where this was going, what her big failure was. Eager to focus on something other than that Max bastard hitting her, hurting her.

"What?" Veronica choked out, her eyes big and staring at Logan.

"Why did you and him stop being friends?" Logan clarified, his gaze sharpening on her face, his eyes narrowing. She looked scared at the question, even a little guilty.

"I was kind of working up to that, why?" Her voice was so little now, he could hardly stand it. Breath was getting to be a problem for him, and he took in a deep gasp. Logan was starting to freak out a little, wondering what this was all about, what things it could ruin.

"Duncan mentioned something about something happening between the two of you." Logan left out the part where he had hit his former-best friend and walked out.

"Like I said I did stupid things. I cheated on Max. I didn't mean to, and I didn't really want to. Once it started however, it snowballed and I couldn't stop it." Veronica saw the confused expression on Logan's face then closed her eyes, she couldn't watch his reaction to her next confession.

"I slept with Duncan the night before he married Lindsay. I snuck out early the next morning, got a cab and prayed that no one would ever find out. But I can't consciously marry you without you knowing who I really am. A liar and a home-wrecker." Veronica kept her eyes shut, but let her head droop forward, hanging in shame.

Logan felt the familiar pang in his chest, a sharp twinge that he had felt all throughout senior year of high school half of freshman and all of sophomore and junior years of college. The feeling he got when he saw Veronica with someone else.

"What?" Logan choked out, his voice sounding distant and strangled.

"I didn't mean to, and I not only knew it a mistake after it was over but during the act for as well. Afterwards I didn't care what Max would think, just your reaction. The only meaning is what it could do to you. To us." Her voice was thick and a little gargled, which meant she was holding back tears. "I'm sorry."

Logan stared at Veronica, shocked that she had admitted to being the other woman that was breaking up Duncan and Lindsay's marriage. She had slept with Duncan, again, but this time she hadn't left him to go back to the Donut. No, this time she had waited four years.

Logan felt a pang in his chest, but somehow it didn't seem like it was all from her sleeping with Duncan. He hadn't exactly shoved her into his arms this time, but he had helped a bit. If he hadn't ended their relationship so abruptly in college then she would never have been in this situation. She would have still been with him. She never would have been with Max. She never would've have gotten hit and she would never have stayed with him. The girl Logan had known since he was twelve would never have put up with that, but if Logan thought about it he could admit that she hadn't seemed like herself before. She had seemed lost.

"Say something. Please." Veronica pleaded, the tears slipping down her cheeks and bottom lip starting to shake.

A pained look crossed his face when Logan looked at her. Duncan had put them here yet again. Duncan had screwed him one more time, snuck in to steal his happiness.

Logan stood and walked out of the kitchen. He had to absorb this information and figure out what he wanted to do with it. It hurt, but not enough to lose her. It hurt, enough to lose him. But the real question was, after years of letting Duncan Kane walk all over was if he could.

**To Be Continued...**

* * *

**A/N:** It's been a while, sorry. And the more feedback I get the quicker the next half of the chapter will be posted... hopefully


	13. End of the Circle PART B

**Title:** Symmetry 7b: End of the Circle

**Pairings/Characters:** Logan/Veronica, Duncan _(mentions of: Duncan/OC and Veronica/Duncan)_

**Word Count:** 4,906 (4,810 without lyrics)

**Rating:** R (a little bit of language and little bit of violence)

**Spoilers/Warnings:** Everything to 3.17 (Debasement Tapes)

Future Fic

**Disclaimer:** None of it's mine, and if it was it would all be going different right now. So don't sue, because I have nothing and it'd be a waste of both our time. The Song is _By Your Side_ by Sade

**A/N:** Here's the second part… enjoy.

**A/N:** Also, I know there were a lot of readers that were like, "WTF?" about chapter 5.5, but after reading this chapter I hope you see why it was in there.

* * *

Symmetry  
7b  
End of the Circle

_You think I'd leave your side baby  
__You know me better than that  
__You think I'd leave you down when you're down on your knees  
__I wouldn't do that  
__I'll tell you you're right when you want  
__And if only you could see into me  
__ha ah ah ah ah ah_

Veronica stared at Logan's plate sitting across the table from her. His food was getting colder by the second and would have to be thrown out soon, there's no way he could eat it now. _No way she could eat hers either_, she thought as her eyes drifted to her own plate in front of her. She hadn't even taken a single bite, and neither had he. Fifty dollars of food gone to waste. Hopefully it wouldn't be a day of wedding plans, hundreds of dollars spent on it and her heart gone to waste. Hopefully Logan would be able to at least forgive her enough to stay with her.

"I didn't." Veronica said aloud to the empty kitchen, her voice barely audible. And she hadn't. She hadn't been able to forgive Logan enough to stay with him when he did the same thing to her. She hadn't been able to forgive him for Madison for over a year, and it had taken another year and a half for them to reconcile. Veronica didn't want to wait that long to be with him. But if she was honest with herself she knew he was totally justified in walking.

Duncan was Logan's Madison.

Worse. Duncan was still friends with Logan, even if he was fake about it. And even worse than that was the fact that Duncan had been the cause of their last breakup and a sore point before that. He was an ex-boyfriend. Duncan was worse than Madison. Logan had every right to walk out on her and never speak to her again. It's not like he was speaking to her now. It would have been better if he yelled, she had been prepared for that. But silence scared her, silence was when he was unpredictable.

Veronica took a deep breath and stood, her chair squeaking as it slid across the floor before it made a loud clatter when if fell. After the echo of the sound died, she finally released the breath. She was going to march into that bedroom and start in on him. She would badger and pester until he finally starting yelling. After she got him yelling she would wheedle him into fighting for their relationship. Maybe he wouldn't cancel their wedding, just postpone it or even go through with it in a month like they had planned. Maybe.

Veronica turned and began taking long and confident strides towards her bedroom door, not letting her hesitance at this action falter her footsteps.

She had gotten halfway before the loud knocking sounded from the front door. It sounded like they were trying to break down the door.

* * *

Duncan's face hurt as he drove towards the beach house. It was an old and familiar road, a road he had taken several times on his way to Logan's house since Veronica's return.

Veronica's return.

She was like some great and epic story, his Veronica. She was like this mythical queen that went away to fight legendary battles like a man, and return home greater than ever. A hero and no longer just a queen, but a goddess. That was what Veronica was now, a goddess. She had grown up and grown out of being permanently on the defense, grown to accommodate the man she was with. He had seen it when she was with Max. Veronica had accommodated him in almost anything he asked of her. It was unfair that Logan get that when Duncan had been forced to deal with prickly and defensive Veronica Mars all throughout their last relationship.

Logan had never deserved her. Not when they were young, before Lilly died. Duncan had seen the way Logan had looked at her then. It may not have been the lustful gazes that he sent Lilly's way, but in a way they were worse. Logan wasn't different from any other guy in school. Lilly was the girl all the guys wanted, the perfect girl. Veronica was the girlfriend they all wanted, the perfect girlfriend. Logan had wanted her and Duncan would be damned if he left him get something that was so clearly marked for Duncan. Of course Logan had backed down.

Logan didn't deserve her Junior year of high school when he had her, and he definitely didn't deserve her Senior year after he lost her. Then never should have pulled the relationship into college, it just stunted them and hadn't allowed them to grow up and apart. Which would have worked much better for him than what did happen. If they hadn't been together their Senior year at Hearst then they wouldn't be in this situation.

Duncan took the corner to sharply and felt his back tires slide and heard them squeal over the pavement. Duncan tapped on his breaks lightly, it wouldn't do for him to arrive dead. That wouldn't get him anything but a funeral, and he was too close to getting everything for that.

Finally, after passing all the familiar landmarks, Duncan arrived and parked in Veronica and Logan's driveway. He slid off the leather seat and swung his keys around wildly as he slammed his car door shut. Jogging up the front walkway to the door Duncan wondered what they were doing, seeing as most of the lights in the house were off. Raising his hand he began to pound on the heavy door in front of him, not sure who he wanted to answer.

His hand was starting to hurt from the force in which he was knocking when the door swung open, and angry Veronica standing on the other side.

"_What?_" she demanded, her whole body seeming to take up the space in the foyer.

* * *

Logan lay back on the bed, his mind racing with thoughts. He couldn't help turning his head to gaze at the wide expanse of the mattress to his right. He couldn't stop picturing it, like he had down Senior year of high school.

Veronica and Duncan. Having sex.

It was a vision he would do anything to get rid of, but could think of nothing to expel it. Every time he blinked they had changed positions. How was he ever going to get over this, past this, if he saw it every time he closed his eyes? How could he be with Veronica if he thought about it constantly?

Shifting to his side so he was facing the left, he turned his back on the majority of the bed. Maybe if he didn't see the mattress it wouldn't taunt him with vision of his fiancée and his ex-best friend. His ex-friend.

It seemed to work, no more sex visions and Logan finally began thinking.

He hadn't pushed her into it completely, but he had allowed Veronica to walk though that door of cheating. Logan had left her with very little reasoning, and she hadn't ever recovered from it. She had been unhappy the years following their last breakup and Logan was all too familiar with the stupid and harmful things one could do when they're unhappy. He was lucky she hadn't burned anything down or started any gang wars.

A quick and satisfying rush of relief washed over him as he silently rejoiced over the fact that it hadn't been Weevil. He wouldn't have been able to handle it this well if it had been Weevs, he'd be screaming by now.

A loud screech followed by a clatter brought Logan out of his thoughts and drew his attention to the fact that he had left Veronica at the dinner table. Sliding off the bed Logan went to the door, waiting to hear her feet shuffle across the floor so he could meet her at the door.

They could work through this, talk through this. After all, he'd risked his heart one last time for her and he was confident that this would be the time she didn't make him regret it.

Then the banging on the door started, making Logan jump in surprise. The knocking persisted for another minute before it stopped.

The angry _"what?"_ carried down the hall to Logan and he knew exactly who was at the door.

* * *

Veronica couldn't believe the nerve of him standing there on her doorstep and the audacity of his sheepish look. Like he was trying to be cute and sorry at the same time. Like that could work with anyone but Logan. Like he was even sorry.

Duncan's shoulders were pushed up around his ears, like he was stuck in a perpetual shrug, with his hands shoved deep into his pockets. A seemingly innocent smile was plastered across his face, the corners of his lips pulled so far up and so wide that it made his lips thin and press together. Even his eyes seemed to smile a bit, in a joyful "I'm-getting-what-I-want" way. The only thing throwing off his affected look of sheepish innocence—which she still thought looked smarmy—was the fact that he had a black eye.

The whole act made Veronica want to blacken his other eye. So they would match.

Veronica knew that he knew he was in trouble, but he probably thought a little sweet talking would get him out of it and what he wanted. She wanted to give him a black eye, a split lip, a broken nose and a few other things for what he had done.

She had always known she would have to tell Logan about that stupid night with Duncan. She had put it off and put it off until the last possible moment, but she had always intended on doing it. It was her thing to tell in her time. At first she had wanted to settle back into him and the relationship. Then it was too new and fragile, and with the added stress of wedding plans it hadn't seemed like the right time. As time had continued to run out Veronica had realized there was never going to be a right time for this particular conversation. Then Duncan had forced her by threatening to tell Logan about it himself.

Now he had the _nerve_ to come here and put on this act?

"_What_?" Veronica demanded angrily, glaring at Duncan from her side of the threshold.

"Hey." Was all Duncan could get out, he was starting to get really nervous about this. Her greeting was not what he had expected.

"Hey? _Hey?_ That's all you have to say for yourself is _hey_?" Veronica asked, her voice starting to raise into a yell. "You have to be kidding me! I told you when you basically cornered me this morning not to say anything to Logan because I had been planning on explaining things to him. _I_ had planned on breaking this thing that I done to him in a way that wouldn't hurt him as much as you flat out telling him that we slept together! It was _my_ mistake, _my_ news, _my_ thing. _You_ however took this opportunity to manipulate the situation to _your_ advantage. Even though he didn't say anything about the conversation _you_ had with him, I'm willing to bet that you insinuated that I had cheated on _him_ with you, instead of Max. Right?"

Veronica was yelling full blast now, gesturing wildly with her hands and arms. Duncan opened his mouth, presumably to protest, but was cut off by Veronica who plowed forward into her rant.

"Of course you did, because you know as well as I do that _that_ is something Logan won't tolerate. Cheating on him. I can't believe I ever thought I loved you." Veronica's chest was heaving in anger now, her breath coming out in short bursts. "Before Lilly died I thought I loved you so much, that you were the perfect boy. And maybe then I was right. But since then you've become cruel and manipulative and opportunistic. Since then you've become a Kane."

The insult to his character and his family name caught his attention even more than the mention of his dead sister. The anger flashed in his eyes and too late Veronica realized her precarious position. She wasn't dressed in a particularly casual outfit, making it hard to get away from him, and even if it hadn't happened in a while he was prone to violent outbursts.

"Excuse me? _Thought_ you loved me? You were basically a fucking puppy dog Veronica, both before Lilly died and senior year of high school. The moment I wanted you back you dropped Logan so fast he barely had time to realize it was ending before it was over. You screwed him over then, he needed you and you bailed on him to be with me. _I'm_ manipulative? What about you?" Duncan took a step towards her, and while he wasn't usually intimidating he somehow was now, in his anger.

"_I'm_ opportunistic? You take advantage of every situation you can, you never miss an opportunity to screw somebody over, even if is fucks someone else in the process. And cruel? I've seen the way you were, are. You're a drunk and a slut like your mother, and a screw up like you're father. Since Lilly died, you've definitely become a Mars."

Veronica's retaliating retort died in her throat at the insult aimed at her mother, then her father. She couldn't believe that he was bringing her dead mother into this, and calling her a slut and a drunk while he was at it. Veronica couldn't even process the slur against her father.

"So even when you make me the bad guy we still belong together. Don't you see Veronica? Logan's a jerk and loser, you should be with me. We're better together." Duncan concluded, his anger dying down, but he was still towering intimadatingly over her. A low creak sounded from the end of the dark hallway, followed by footsteps.

"I'm the loser? You're the one that can't get over your girlfriend from high school. You're the one that has spent the last eight years since _high school_ pining and chasing after her." Logan said as he came up behind Veronica, placing one soothing hand on her shoulder. He had been listening at the bedroom door, and heard everything. Not that he had to have his ear pressed against the door to hear what they were shouting at each other. But the cruel blow about her mother had made him so fiercely protective that he could no longer stay in there and not defend her.

"Why can't you just leave her alone? Leave us alone? You left her, repeatedly, and she moved on. That's what you're supposed to do, not sit alone and pine for something that's never coming back."

"If I hadn't had to take Lilly away—"

"But you did." Logan interrupted, his voice raising to overpower Duncan's. "You did have to leave with Lilly, so there's no point in playing that game. And saying that you wouldn't have broken up since then is preposterous. You can't know that, and you're not going to find out. Veronica and I are getting married in just over a month, and you're just going to have to deal with that!"

As Logan ended his rant Duncan lunged at him with his fist, one of his hands actually connecting as they went down in a mass of limbs and fists.

"Stop it! Enough!" Veronica yelled out, promptly ended the fight. Logan's bottom lip was starting to swell a little already by the looks of it. She raised her hand to cup his jaw in her palm as her thumb ran lightly over the lip.

"Get out." Veronica gritted through her teeth as she stared at Logan's injured lip. Logan's eyes widened and rounded out as he stared at her in confusion and a little bit of what looked like resignation. She thought she meant him.

Veronica dropped her hand and turned to face Duncan, her own tiny little fists starting to clench and unclench.

"Get. Out. You're no longer welcome here, and I want you to leave now. I want you out." Veronica stood protectively in front of Logan, daring Duncan to make another move on him. Duncan still dared to take a step forward, but this time his eyes were trained on her face, they were soft as he pleaded with her.

"You're mother always regretted not being with my dad, for letting it end. And although I'm thankful, because it means that I got to have you, I saw what it did to my dad. He loved her, just like I love you. He was her true love, and true love stories never have endings, remember? Do you—"

"I'm not my mother, I'm not going to be eternally in love with you. And I'm not going to regret marrying Logan, or ever have an affair." Veronica interrupted, her chest starting to heave a little. "And no, true love stories never have endings, but I never said _you_ were my true love."

Duncan's head began to slowly shake from side to side, silently denying her words before she continued on.

"If you can't accept us then we can't know you, because we're together. I can't be around someone that seems to be completely incapable of accepting Logan and I. You're my oldest friend Duncan, but Logan comes first and that's just they way things are going to be."

"So this is your choice?" Duncan asks insolently, practically daring Veronica to hold her ground.

"No, it's not my choice." This caught the attention of both men, but Veronica pushed forward, ignoring Duncan's smug smile and Logan's incredulous look. "It isn't a choice Duncan, it's the way things are now. You're just my past now, not anything else. And maybe it's time that I left you there, in the past. That _Logan and I_ left you there, maybe our friendship can't last past now. Maybe it was never meant to."

Duncan's eyes lost that confident sheen they had held all night, at least until now. The determined look from that morning was long gone, and the sheepish innocence from fifteen minutes ago had morphed into an arrogant and then cruel smirk before disappearing completely. Now Duncan's eyes looked confused and lost, like he had suddenly lost some great purpose in life.

"You should go home, call your wife and beg forgiveness, Duncan." Logan suggested from behind Veronica, his voice full of pity. No matter how much Duncan screwed him over and let him down, he was his oldest friend and Logan couldn't just turn his emotions off.

"Can't. Especially after telling her that they're Veronica's panties. She hates both of us now, I didn't… I…" Duncan told his two oldest friends, stalling for time and hoping that she would change her mind.

"Although being honest is good, it's probably not necessary to just show up at her hotel and tell her that I turned down your offer of you divorcing her to marry me. Okay? Salvage as much as you can Duncan, because we're done here. You're out of my life, for good. I want you out. From this moment on, you are no longer my friend. You don't exist." Veronica choked out, her voice strained with the stress of keeping herself from yelling.

With the end of her tirade Logan turned to go down the hallway when he heard Duncan say in the smallest voice he had ever heard the man use.

"But, you're mine. You were mine first."

"When will you get that she's not yours? First of all, she's not a piece of property, she is not something you own. Secondly, if she was anybody's, she'd be mine. Right, baby?" Veronica nodded enthusiastically at that, using the moment to reassure Logan as well as discourage Duncan..

"Right." Veronica answered, and sparing one glance down that hallway she watched as Duncan picked up the black jacket she hadn't even noticed he'd thrown down on the floor when he came in.

With the slamming of the door Logan and Veronica both sighed in relief as Logan reached out to wrap his arms around her waist from behind.

"Did you mean it?" her voice barely above a whisper was thick with tears.

_Oh when you're cold  
__I'll be there  
__Hold you tight to me  
__When you're low  
__I'll be there  
__By your side baby_

Duncan stared at the glowing windows of the beach house, resenting the people currently inhabiting it. They were in there, together, and he was stuck out here in the car. Alone.

He'd never thought it would matter this much that they'd turned their backs on him. He never thought that Logan mattered that much to him. But Duncan had seen the look in his eyes, the resignation and anger. Logan had finally given up on him, pulled his never-ending support and loyalty. Logan had finally saw the truth.

Duncan hadn't realized how much he counted on Logan's inability to object Duncan's authority. Logan had been the king of Neptune high and had ruled without apology, while Duncan looked to be the passive and kind one. The one that kept Logan in check. In reality Logan had never really done anything without Duncan's approval, whether Logan was consciously aware of it or not. His one goal after Lilly's death was to protect Duncan. To protect Duncan and destroy Veronica for betraying him.

Logan had felt that Veronica's decision to stay with her dad had been an outright betrayal against Duncan. She had gone against him and now she must pay. Duncan had ignored Logan's antics, only stepping in when it was absolutely necessary and Logan had gone too far. Or when Duncan himself was present.

Secretly he had enjoyed it a little. Lilly had been so good at the vengeance thing, so good at being able to let herself openly hate someone. Like that Yolanda girl. Duncan had been expected to be nice, and kind to everyone. It had been exhausting, playing the knight in shining armor to everyone. Including Veronica. Better yet, it had taken perfect little Veronica down a notch, made her not so perfect and untouchable. Made him want to touch her less.

But after all that loyalty, Logan had finally defected. Logan had joined the other side, the side against Duncan. After all that, he had finally pushed Logan too far.

Duncan punched his steering wheel in anger, swearing as his knuckles connected hard with it.

What had he been thinking? Risking everything like that. Her friendship. His friendship. Their love. Now he was alone.

Duncan let his thoughts wander to Lindsay. She was staying in the Presidential Suite at the Neptune Grand now, with Lilly. There was no telling what was going to happen now, but if Duncan had to guess he would say that he was going to be getting divorced.

He'd come right out and told her exactly why the panties had been in the bed. He'd never been one for a fight, but he'd been waiting for this one ever since their honeymoon, when he'd remembered the panties were still in the bed. He hadn't had time to get rid of them before the wedding, so he had just made the bed over them. After that it had been a whirlwind of activity.

Then she had found the underwear and yelled at him for it, without even pretending to give him the benefit of the doubt. So he admitted to cheating. She had said she knew, that he had been acting strange since the wedding. They'd decided to sleep in separate beds that day, so he slept in what she had called "the soiled guest room".

Mac and Dick's wedding rolled around and he had gotten sullen and more detached. Lindsay had begun to get suspicious once again, and Duncan had no doubt that Nicole had been in the background asking about he pre-nup. If Lindsay got everything in the even that he was unfaithful. Of course a week later Lindsay learned that Nicole and Logan had broken up and he was back with Veronica. Things had gotten really bad then.

It was Lindsay had threatened to have Veronica find out who he was sleeping with that he had confessed. Actually, he had laughed at her first, told her good luck with that one since she would just be taking pictures of herself. After a screaming match and a broken vase he had finally told her everything. That he was in love with Veronica, always had been. That he should have called off the wedding, but she had disappeared that morning and he had misread everything. The next morning she and Lilly had been gone, but he had only noticed after he listened to her voicemail about where they would be.

Starting up the car, Duncan pointed it in the direction of the hotel. Now that Veronica had rejected him and subsequently kicked him out of her life he had to fix this. He had to go and get his wife and daughter back before Lindsay put the divorce into action. Later he would ask his father how to keep the little fact of being in love with another woman from ruining his marriage.

Right now he just needed to figure a way to manipulate Lindsay back into his life.

* * *

Logan buried his nose into Veronica's hair from behind, breathing in deeply as he tightened his grasp a fraction.

"Are we going to be okay? Is this going… Just, are we going to be okay?" Logan asked in a husky whisper before pressing his lips into her hair.

"Maybe I was right. Once upon a time Lilly and Duncan and you and me were the best of friends and _so close_. But if Lilly hadn't died we probably wouldn't have made it anyway. Maybe you and I would have found our way to each other, eventually. But our friendships and our relationships as they were then wouldn't have lasted." Taking a deep breath, Veronica turned in Logan's arms to face him. She looked deeply into his eyes, letting out her breath and taking another one before continuing.

"And it's about time we all quit pretending that they could have. That we can somehow get back any of what we lost. We can't and even though you and I learned that lesson long ago, it was time Duncan learned it too. It's just too bad that he had to lose us in the process, that we had to lose him. Because the three of us could have been great, but we'll never know that kind of friendship. The strong and lasting friendship that is built through such a loss as we had, and that's sad."

"We did." Logan contradicted. "It took us a while, but that's my fault…"

Logan released her waist and held a finger to her lips as she opened her mouth to interrupt, to argue his guilt.

"It was my fault. We lost someone that was instrumental in our lives and I lashed out. I always lash out, it's basically what my father taught me. To attack when I'm hurt. But eventually we got there and we learned how to be friends again. Eventually."

"He's not… Logan…" Veronica said sympathetically, misunderstanding what it was he was saying.

"I'm not saying that he's going to come around. What I'm saying is that he's probably not. Ever. That you're right, we could have been great. The three of us could have been amazing, the three musketeers or something. We're not all close like that, we grew apart, the three of use, but you and I… You and I are different. We made it."

"Yeah, we made it. We're going to make it." Veronica agreed as she stood on her tip-toes to press her lips to Logan's.

Logan responded and lifted her up with one arm wrapped around the back of her waist and on sweeping behind her knees. She giggled against his mouth before deepening the kiss. Logan carried her into the living room, only bumping into the walls twice on the way to the couch. Placing her gently on the sofa, he leaned back.

"You and I, we still need to talk about some things, don't we?" Logan questioned, his eyes searching hers. Veronica's eyes drew together in confusion.

"We should talk about the other things, like the thing with Max? I think we should talk about that. And…" Logan trailed off at the sight of Veronica's distressed look. It was obvious that the subject would do nothing but upset her. Perhaps right now was not the time to pursue this, it could wait.

"And it can wait." Logan whispered as he leaned forward to kiss her again, pressing against her until she laid back on the cushions. He settled on top of her and let his hands wander to the button of her pants.

The moment the button snapped open things kicked into high gear as they desperately undressed each other, pulling at the other's shirts.

_Oh when you're cold  
__I'll be there  
__Hold you tight to me  
__Oh when you're low  
__I'll be there  
__By your side baby_

**Epilogue Coming Soon!**


	14. A Good Start EPILOGUE

**Pairings/Characters:** Logan/Veronica i (mentions of: Mac/Dick, Keith/Alicia, Duncan) /i 

**Word Count:** 6,129 (5,903 without lyrics)

**Rating:** PG (It's basically fluff. A little payoff to all the angst in the rest of the story, but it still holds true to the 'theme' of the story.)

**Spoilers/Warnings:** Everything to 3.17 (Debasement Tapes)

Future Fic

**Disclaimer:** None of it's mine, and if it was it would all be going different right now. So don't sue, because I have nothing and it'd be a waste of both our time. The Song is i Little Wonders /i by Rob Thomas

**A/N:** Okay, so this turned out to be more of a full chapter 8 wrap-up than an epilogue... but it's still the end and I'm going to call it an epilogue anyway. The end.

**

* * *

**

Symmetry  
Epilogue  
A Good Start 

_Let it go  
__Let it roll right off your shoulder  
__Don't you know?  
__The hardest part is over  
__Let it in  
__Let your clarity define you  
__In the end, we will only just remember how it feels_

Logan stood at the end of the make-shift aisle, nervously bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet, willing himself not to look over his shoulder. He'd read somewhere that it was bad luck.

The music swelled and Logan finally turned around to see Veronica walking towards him, her hand tucked demurely in the crook of her father's elbow. The rest of their party seemed to fade away and the edges of his vision blurred a bit before his focus cleared and centered on Veronica. She looked beautiful in what she had told him was a silk mermaid dress. She didn't look like she was wearing something with a tail, but Logan figured she knew what she was talking about. After all, she looked beautiful in it.

Logan's heart skipped a beat and he felt a pressure in his chest that kept him from taking a full deep breath. He felt so excited, like his heart was going to beat right out of his chest and he'd jump out of his own skin. This was finally happening.

* * *

Standing in front of thirty of their closest friends and family Veronica's hands clung to Logan's as she faced him fully to begin her vows. 

"Hey." She whispered, her voice coming out mostly as a gust of air and not real words. Logan mouthed the words back at her, trying desperately to hold back the tears that were threatening.

"Me first, okay." Veronica said as she squeezed Logan's hands and taking a deep breath before starting her actual vows. "I, Veronica, promise…" Veronica trailed off, trying to think of the words she'd written down on a note card this morning. A note card that still sat in her bedroom.

"I promise so many things, but none of them as important as me promising to love you forever. And I will, because there's no one else I could love. We've been friends and enemies and lovers and everything in between, and it has all taught me that my life needs you in it. For the last eleven years I've been falling back to you, finding my way to you. For the last eleven years you've shown me that you can lose everything and still be open. You're my hope, my one and I promise to always be there for you the way you have always been there for me."

Logan shuffled a bit before turning his face away from her to wipe at his eyes.

"My turn." Logan stated, his voice hitching on the lump in his throat. "Veronica, I love you. You've known that for years, and I don't think you've ever really doubted that. I need you in a way that I could never need anyone else. You've fixed me time and time again. There was never anything I wouldn't give you. So right now I'm promising to always love you, and always need you. I promise my life to you." Logan nearly rolled his eyes at his own over-sentimentality, he'd promised himself not to over-romanticize his vows. _So much for that_, he thought.

There was a muffle of words, none of them discernible to him except the loud echo of Veronica saying "I do". He swallowed hard, knowing that his turn was coming up. His palms began to sweat. He couldn't hear what the guy was saying. It sounded garbled to him, almost like someone talking under water. He was going to mess it up.

"I do." It had just come out, like second nature, instinctively. Like he had always known when to say it, like he had always been meant to.

The words were no longer distorted, but loud and crisp and clear. As the officiant pronounced them _Man and wife_, everything got clearer and Logan remembered which part came next before the man could tell him what to do.

Logan kissed the bride.

* * *

"So, husband, how much longer do you think we have to stay at this reception?" Veronica asked as she swayed slowly to the music, her head resting comfortably on Logan's shoulder. _Well, upper arm_, she thought to herself, her heels still didn't make her that tall. 

"Probably a little more than the forty-five minutes we've put in. Well, if you don't count the dinner." Logan replied, reveling in the sound of her calling him _husband_. "There's still the cake and the garter and the bouquet and the father-daughter dance thing…"

Veronica rolled her eyes before picking up where Logan had left off. "We don't really have any single friends other than the newly-divorced Piz, so that's just the garter thing. The bouquet I'm just going to give the bouquet I'm _supposed_ to throw to Eli's little girl. And I wouldn't be shocked if someone has already taken a piece of our cake."

"But the father-daughter dance, we can't leave before that. You're father would basically kill me if I whisked you away before his moment. After all, I got my first dance and have fending off other would-be suitors since then, its your dad's turn. I'm sick of you already." Logan joked lightly as his hand started to move in slow and comforting circles on her lower back. It was code for her to give in, let him have his way.

"Okay, but after that you have to take me back. Its actually the law now, for you to keep me and put up with me. In sickness and in health and all that crap." Veronica sing-songed, her voice light and airy with her apparent happiness.

"I've never been one for the law." Logan said offhandedly as he watched Keith get out of his seat and start over to them. It looked like they had missed the announcement of the dance in question during their light banter session.

"Logan." Keith acknowledged as he took Veronica's offered hand.

With a nod Logan made to step away, but was stopped by a sudden and unexpected hug from his new father-in-law.

* * *

"This is really good cake." Logan announced, scraping the majority of his piece off his chin. Unsurprisingly none of it had made it into his mouth. "You should have some." 

Veronica's eyes widened as she saw what was about to happen a moment too late. The remains of her husband's piece of cake came at her as he wiped his fingers across her cheek. He'd ruined her make up, and normally she would have been at least a little miffed by it. But not today. Today she just laughed, agreed that it was in fact good cake, and kissed him.

"Can we leave now?" Veronica asked in a whisper as she pulled out of the kiss.

"What's your hurry to leave? I thought you were excited about this? At least that's what you said every time we discussed the reception, that you were going to party like it was 1999 until it actually becomes 1999 again." Logan questioned, barely managing to stop the eye-roll that always threatened to accompany that particular statement.

"I kind of wanted to tell you something, sort of like your wedding gift from me. It doesn't have to be a private thing, I was just sort of hoping… since we hadn't…" Veronica stammered and then trailed off.

"Since we haven't what?" Logan prompted as he led her away from the cake table and the rest of the party.

"Since we haven't discussed this particular thing, I just wanted to have the conversation in private. You know, due to the fact that I don't know what your reaction will be exactly." Veronica answered quickly, the words rushing out all at once.

"My reaction to what? We're in private now." Logan urged before a loud laugh sounded from underneath the giant tent that had been erected for their reception on the beach. Logan took his new wife by the hand and led hear just a little further away. "Okay, now."

"I'm pregnant. Six weeks, I'm six weeks pregnant." Veronica admitted, not really fearing Logan's reaction now that she had actually said it. Saying it out loud made it real and made her realize what Logan's reaction would be.

Logan's face split into a grin as he wrapped his arms around her and lifted her into the air. His mouth came crashing down on hers and once it connected he suddenly felt like he couldn't get enough. Like this really was the start of everything.

_All lives are made  
__In these small hours  
__These little wonders  
__These twists and turns of fate  
__Time falls away but these small hours  
__These small hours still remain_

"Logan Nathanial Echolls, I hate you!" Veronica screamed through her gritted teeth as she bore down on Logan's hand.

"Yeah, I know. I suck, could you ease off a bit though?" Logan whined as the crushing pain in his hand almost made him fall to his knees at her bedside. Veronica unexpectedly complied, although Logan had a feeling it was due to her brief reprieve from pushing. As his wife fell back into her pillows for a moment Logan looked at his purpling hand, still firmly in her grasp, then back at her. She looked so small and dainty, it was hard to believe that his hand felt like it had been on the verge of breaking due to her grip.

"Push again, Veronica." The doctor instructed, hunched below her and staring at a place Logan firmly believed should be for his eyes only on most occasions. Except for today. Today Logan had given the good doctor special VIP rights.

"Come one honey. You can do it. Only a couple more times. You can do it!" A cheery and annoying nurse encouraged from the other side of his wife.

"I know I can do it, now back off Barbie!" Veronica yelled as she leaned forward to push again. "Logan, if that woman doesn't disappear in two seconds I'm going to commit murder while giving birth!"

Logan looked up and glared at the nurse. He didn't need any more problems right now. His child was in the middle of being born, his wife seemed intent on breaking his hand and now he had a much too perky nurse. " Shut up or get out!"

"It's crowning!" The doctor announced from his place between Veronica's legs. She felt like screaming obscenities at him. Of course she knew it was crowning, she could fucking _feel_ it. "Would you like to take a look Mr. Echolls?"

Veronica almost shouted out a denial to the doctor's question, until she saw the look on his face. There was no way in hell Logan wanted a sneak peak at this.

"No!" Logan shouted, before looking down at Veronica. "Dick looked. Said he'd never be able to look at Mac the same again. I don't want to risk it."

Veronica almost laughed before she was gripped with pain again. It was stupid to do this without drugs. Logan had rallied for drugs, arguing that he didn't want her in any more pain than was absolutely necessary. She had been stubborn and refused. Now she wished she would have just given in.

"One more push Veronica, one more."

Logan watched as Veronica leaned forward and pushed with everything she had in her. She was more amazing than anyone else on the planet, going from hero to super-hero as she screamed and pushed one final time.

"It's a girl!" The doctor announced loudly as Veronica fell back into the pillows, exhausted. Moments later there was a cry.

"It's a girl, baby. I know we already knew that, but a girl." Logan told her, still holding her hand and standing on his tip-toes, trying to see what the nurses were doing with his daughter.

"Go see." Veronica said softly, her voice sounding more tired than he had ever heard it before.

Logan, was reluctant to relinquish her hand, but finally did so in favor of being handed his newborn daughter.

"Hi sweetheart. I'm your daddy." Logan informed this new little person that lay snuggled in his arms. "And this is your mommy, you know her."

Logan passed his daughter to his wife, kissing them both on the forehead in the process. "Are we still naming her what…?"

"Isabella Annette. That's what we decided on right? And it suits her don't you think?"

"Yeah, welcome to the world honey." Veronica whispered before looking into Logan's eyes, her wistful expression gone and in it's place was serious concern. "Watch that nurse around the baby." Logan's brow furrowed in confusion. "She seemed a little too interested in her," Veronica looked back down at Isabella, whose eyes had closed. "Like she'd take her or something."

_Let it slide  
__Let your trouble fall behind you  
__Let it shine  
__Till you feel it all around you  
__And I don't mind  
__If it's me you need to turn to  
__We'll get by  
__It's the heart that really matters  
__In the end_

Logan swung open the front door of the house, briefly wondering why all the lights were on before remembering what a hurry they had been in when they left. He'd gone into such a panic when Veronica had told him her water broke that he had run from room to room turning on lights and trying to get everything he quite possibly would never need at a hospital. Logan just shook his head and preceded on his way to his bedroom.

Setting his sleeping daughter in the middle of his and Veronica's enormous bed, he stepped back to make sure there would be no way she would roll off the bed while he was gone. Satisfied he turned and headed back out to the car.

Stepping outside he squinted at the harsh glare of the mid-afternoon light, only to see his wife sliding cautiously out of their car.

"You were supposed to wait!" Logan yelled as he jogged to her side. "This was so much easier when we had one, but two babies make it two trips."

"I can walk on my own, Logan. And dad offered to help, but you said we could do it." Veronica batted away his hands as he tried to help her. "Will you just get the baby?"

Logan popped open the rear-passenger side door to the car and began undoing the snaps and buckles that kept the car seat firmly in place.

"It's only been two years since we did this with Isabella, you'd think you would have remembered the procedure, babe." Veronica yelled to him over her shoulder, already halfway up the walkway to the house.

"With Bella your labor came a little slower, kind of eased us into it. Christopher on the other hand moved right along, too impatient to take his time." Logan responded softly as he slid his son out of the car seat, cuddling him to his chest.

Logan was nearly to the front door when he heard a car pull up. Without looking around to see he whispered gently to his now fully alert son, "I'd pretty much stake my life on the fact that that is your grandfather."

"Logan? You need any help there son?" Keith asked, his voice getting closer with each syllable.

"Nope, I got it."

Veronica was already settled into the couch by time he got into the house, looking like she was still ready for anything.

* * *

Several hours later, Logan was completely worn out. Keith had stayed for a while, trying to help him the best he could with the chaos that was 'homecoming day', but eventually even he had to head home. 

Isabella's nap had done nothing to improve the two year old's mood and she had thrown two temper tantrums, cut her finger and cried for an hour for no apparent reason. When eight o'clock rolled around Logan had happily announced her bedtime, never having been so glad to his baby girl to bed just to get away from her.

Of course she hadn't been all of his problem. Veronica was still so tired he had simply just carried her into bed to let her rest, assuring her that he'd take care of the kids. After all, he had no problems taking care of Isabella on his own usually. What was one more?

He had severely misjudged the situation, forgetting that even though he knew how to take care of a two year old and a newborn, he did _not_ know how to take care of both at once. Every time she screamed she woke Chris up, and he cried. And every time he cried and Logan picked him up Isabella would cry and scream and throw a tantrum. Logan tried to hush them as much as possible, telling them they didn't wake mommy up. But that just made Isabella cry louder and ask for mommy, which in turn upset Chris more.

Eventually Logan slipped Christopher into bed with Veronica while he fed and bathed Isabella, read her her story and left her as she slept. By time he got back to the bedroom Veronica was awake and just finishing up with nursing their son.

"God you look tired." She said, a hint of laughter in her voice as she laid their son in basinet next to her side of the bed. Logan pulled his rather ripe smelling t-shirt over his head as he kicked off his jeans.

"Thanks, honey. You look great, too." Logan replied begrudgingly, slipping into bed beside her, clad in only his boxers. "Not all of us napped all day while other people took care of the kids."

"That was your idea, don't whine about it to me." Veronica rolled into his side as he reached over to turn off the lamp on his side of the bed.

"I was talking to your dad, and do you know who else just had a baby?" Logan queried as he snuggled his wife closer to him.

"Someone else had the audacity to give birth at the same time as me? The nerve." Her normally sarcastic and fun banter was tampered a bit by her exhaustion, and the effect was completely ruined by the loud yawn she let out afterwards.

"Duncan." Logan said regretfully.

"Really? Him and Lindsay?" Veronica asked, shifting upwards so she could attempt to look her husband in the face, even though it was obviously too dark to do so.

"Yeah, they named him Adam Jacob. I guess it was in the paper." Logan informed her as he arched back in a little stretch.

"Hmm… wonder how we missed that." She replied as she settled back down into Logan's warmth. "It's still a little weird not knowing everything about him right away, having to be told by someone else. Huh?"

"Yeah, but that's not our fault." Logan felt a pang, a small one that he still sometimes got when he heard about something big that had or was happening in Duncan's life. He still missed him, the friendship he had always thought they shared.

"I know." Veronica's voice was sleepy and distant, she was talking through a yawn. "I love you."

"I love you, too." Logan whispered back, knowing she was already asleep.

_All lives are made  
__In these small hours  
__These little wonders  
__These twists and turns of fate  
__Time falls away but these small hours  
__These small hours still remain_

"Logan!" Veronica shouted, her voice calm and somehow urgent at the same time. It was something she'd perfected in these last few years, the years in which she'd been a mother, letting her husband know it was important without panicking him. He panicked easily these days, when it came to the kids and the possibility of something being wrong.

"Yes, dear?" Logan asked as he walked into the kitchen, he had all the appearance of being calm but she could tell that he had run to her from across the house. He was freaking out, like he did near the end of her last two pregnancies. It didn't matter that he'd gone through this twice before, he still didn't feel like he had a clue.

"I think it's time we head to the hospital." Veronica stated, one hand braced on the countertop and the other pressed against the swell of her stomach. "And before you ask how I know, my water broke and after doing this a couple times already I've kind of gotten the impression that that is when you should go."

Logan hurried to his wife, ushering her to the foyer to sit and wait until he got everything else in order. Hospital bag that had already been prepared and set in the front hall closet. Check. Isabella pulled away from her cartoons and blocks and rushed out to the car. Check. Christopher woken from his nap and now screaming in his car seat. Check.

After making sure that both kids were tucked safely into the car, along with a diaper bag for each of them, he turned to Veronica. Helping her up from the small couch that sat in the front of the house he supported her as they walked as quickly as possible to the car.

Logan put the car into gear and started off on the route he knew was a quick fifteen minute trip to the hospital. The route that he had not only taken twice before, but the one he had shortened down to ten minutes of both occasions.

* * *

Veronica was settled into her hospital room, monitors set up and ice chips ready. She was on the phone with Mac, telling her not to worry about coming to the hospital. Mac had three kids to bring in, the twins were Bella's age but the youngest was barely two months old and Veronica didn't want to 'be a hassle'. 

Logan walked through the hospital with his son resting on his hip. Chris's head was laying on his shoulder, sound asleep. He watched as Isabella tottered along nearly ten feet ahead of him, walking the walk of a three year old who hadn't _completely_ mastered the skill without a stumble or two yet. She was a little clumsy, like he had been at that age. Or so Trina had told him last month when she'd been up to visit her niece and nephew.

Suddenly there were a pair of denim covered legs standing in front of his daughter, blocking her path to the cafeteria. Isabella halted, her neck bending back as she strained to look up at the tall stranger obstructing her course.

"Hi sweetheart, where's you mommy and daddy?"

Logan quickened his pace, not wanting to yell out and risk waking his son in the process. Isabella looked back, her bottom lip quivering a little, scared even though the man had used the gentlest of voices with her. She did _not_ react to strangers well.

"It's okay, I'm right here." Logan said in the softest voice possible as he came up behind his daughter. She had blonde hair, layered due to the fact that Veronica had had to cut gum out of her hair only a week ago, but it was honey colored and long none-the-less. Her deep blue eyes were darker than her mother's, and moody like her fathers. She was probably a little small for her age, making her seem more fragile and delicate than she actually was. His little girl was tough, gave as good as she got, much to little Richie Casablancas' dismay.

Duncan straightened up, standing from the kneeling position he had taken to speak to the little girl.

"I thought she was alone, I know how I get when Lilly wonders. I didn't know she was… I didn't want anyone to worry." Duncan explained, his eyes curiously wondering over Logan's children.

Logan could tell that Duncan wanted to ask all sorts of questions. _What are their names?_ _How old are they? Where's Veronica? Why are you here?_ But Logan also knew that he wouldn't actually be asking any of them.

"Chris, Bella and I were just on our way to get something to eat and drink while we wait for grandpa, right baby?" Logan answered some of Duncan's unspoken questions anyway, reaching his hand down for his daughter to take hold.

Isabella turned her gaze to her father before nodding, clutching at his hand. "Daddy? When mommy is done havin the baby can we go ta the park?"

Logan smiled indulgently, answering with a _"We'll see"_ before looking back up to Duncan's obviously shocked face.

A tight, fake smile graced Logan's face momentarily before he turned to lead his daughter into the hospital cafeteria. He had decided to get them milk and cookies while they waited for their grandfather to get here. Keith was taking a lot longer than he had the first two times, but then again he was probably waiting for Alicia. They'd both have to be here to watch the children while Logan set up camp at his wife's side.

He was thankful that Duncan wasn't still out in the hallway when the three exited the cafeteria. He was even more relieved when he got a glimpse of Keith, Alicia, Wallace and Dick walking through the front hospital.

Reinforcements.

_All of my regret  
__Will wash away somehow  
__But I cannot forget  
__The way I feel right now  
__In these small hours  
__These little wonders  
__These twists and turns of fate  
__Yeah these twists and turns of fate_

"Well, we won't be doing that again." Veronica sighed out as she cuddled her newborn daughter to her chest.

Logan rolled his eyes as he shifted on the hospital bed, trying to get a look at his youngest child. Apparently his last child. He had gotten a vasectomy about two months after Veronica had learned she was pregnant for the fourth time. Amelia had turned two and they had gotten sloppy with the birth control. Five months after celebrating their youngest daughter's birthday Veronica had found out she was three months pregnant.

"So, what's her name?" Logan asked as his wife handed their newest child over to him, she leaned over to her right to swat at a bottle of water that was just out of her reach. Holding his daughter close to his chest he walked around the bed to get it for her. He'd been holding his own babies for just over six years now and he was still afraid he might drop one. No matter how much he told Isabella he had dropped her on her head when she was a baby, he hadn't actually dropped one yet.

"I don't know, Logan. We never decided." Veronica whined, exasperated. They were having a lot harder of a time naming this one than they had had with the other three. Isabella Annette. Christopher Keith. Amelia Elizabeth. They'd decided on them long before their births, the names coming to them easily. Perhaps it was knowing that she was the last one, but they just couldn't seem to agree on a name.

"How about Ava Lynn? It seems to suit her." Logan asked in a soft cooing voice as his daughter's eyes opened sleepily to look up at him before closing again. And just like that he was in love. It'd been the same with the other three, one moment and he was a complete goner. Isabella had yawned, Christopher had cried and Amelia had clutched his finger.

"That's beautiful, honey. I think we should go with that." Veronica smiled as she saw the dreamy look overcome his face. He was a good father, completely adored his children. His original worry that he would turn out like one or both of his parents in some way hadn't lasted long. Isabella had only been a few hours old when he had broken down and cried. He told her he couldn't ever imagine wanting to hurt his own child, and Veronica's heart had broken a little when he asked how his own father had been able to.

"I'm going to go get her big sisters and brother," Logan announced as he passed the tiny baby over to his wife. He turned at the door to look back at Veronica, who was now gazing into their child's face. A grin spread across his face, making it feel like it might split in two from the force. It was a picture he had branded in his memory, her doing this with each of their children, studying their little faces.

"Come young ones, it's time to meet your little sister, Ava." Logan's voice boomed into the small waiting room as he burst through the doors. Keith stood with Amelia in his arms as Chris and Isabella stood from the small table they were sitting at, putting a puzzle together.

The four Echolls entered the room and each taking a seat on the hospital bed with Veronica and Ava, completing the sappy family picture that Keith snapped unexpectedly from the doorway. There was a chorus of "Hey"s as he slipped back out into the waiting room to hand the camera over to Alicia to hide.

It was likely Logan would try to destroy the picture on Veronica's orders.

_All lives are made  
__In these small hours  
__These little wonders  
__These twist and turns of fate  
__Time falls away but these small hours  
__These small hours still remain  
__Yeah they still remain_

Logan leaned his head back in boredom, suddenly glad that his own parents had not been around to throw a party such as this for his graduation. Dick looked equally as bored in the seat directly across from him, stabbing at his chocolate graduation cake. The room that had once been decorated for Dick and Mac's wedding was now decked out with green and gold streamers and balloons.

The party was a combined effort of the families for the five graduating seniors in the group. Parker's older daughter Jane, who was nearly nineteen and the oldest of the five. Wallace's younger son Andrew, who had been holding court with the basketball team up until about five minutes ago. Dick and Mac's twins Richie and Emily, both of which had been forewarned about pulling any pranks today. Then there was Logan and Veronica's oldest, Isabella, who was looking rather mischievous as she chatted with her friends and looked around slyly.

Sighing, Logan stood from his seat and went off in search of his wife, who had disappeared to the bathroom a good fifteen minutes earlier.

"Does that boy look familiar to you?" Veronica's voice startled him as he passed through the door that led out of the reception hall.

"What boy?" Logan asked, turning around and taking a position to stand behind his wife, his hands coming up to rest on her hips.

"The one holding Amy's hand… shamelessly." Veronica answered with a hard edge in her voice.

"I guess the Mars women will always chase after the Kane men, huh?" Logan whispered into his wife's ear as he watched his daughter, Amelia, flirt with Duncan's son, Adam.

"What makes you think it's not the Echolls in her chasing after the Kane in him?" Veronica shot back, she wouldn't take all the blame for this. This was a vicious cycle that had gone on long enough, she had hoped that the rift between Duncan and Logan and her would be enough to keep their children apart. But here they were, Chris was as close to Adam as Logan had been to Duncan. As Veronica had been to Lilly. They acted as though they were brothers, or closer.

Somehow the groups always broke into fours. Isabella, Richie and Emily Casablancas, and Andrew mimicked the friendships and relationships that Logan and Veronica had shared with the Kanes. Now Veronica could see the same grouping with Chris and Amelia with Adam Kane and Zack Casablancas, Dick and Mac's youngest child. She couldn't even imagine the group Ava would find herself in, she was after all the youngest out of all the kids.

They were _all_ pairing off too, not just Amelia and Adam.

Isabella and Richie had been dating for a few years now, and although it had seemed like they were just having fun at first Veronica got the impression that they had gotten pretty serious during their senior year. She had overheard her daughter telling Emily that Richie had gotten into UCLA too and that they were planning on moving in together. Andrew and Emily had the same on-again off-again relationship that Logan and Lilly had had, that had plagued Logan and Veronica for so long.

"Maybe it's the Mars _and_ the Echolls in her. We both followed after the Kanes at some point." Logan amended. With a smirk he revised his statement, "actually, the Kanes chased after you, maybe the Echolls in her will chase him and he'll chase her right back."

"Maybe you're right, and if that's true they might actually be a better match than either of us were for either of them. They're a lot more innocent than we were, this pair may actually get a chance at being happy." Veronica replied with a slight smile, turning her face to gaze up at his.

"You saying we never got out chance?" Logan asked, frowning. He knew that wasn't what she had meant, but he didn't even like the innuendo that she wasn't happy.

"No, but it took a lot to get here. We went through more than most, because we were damaged and lost our innocence and ability to trust early on. Amy and Adam never really had a reason not to trust, and I just hope they don't get a reason." Veronica corrected, leaning into Logan's chest letting him take her weight. She was tired after the long and emotionally eventful day.

"Chances are they won't, Amy's personality is a lot like yours was before Lilly died. And what I know of Adam he seems like Duncan was back then too. They're probably the new golden couple of Neptune High. From what I hear from Chris, Lindsay hates Amy too." Logan's voice held a note of concern as he relayed the last bit of information.

"I guess history really does repeat itself then, doesn't it?" Veronica added, her voice amused as she watched Amelia lean into Adam as he casually threw his arm over her shoulder. "Chris also called Lindsay the 'ice bitch'. Duncan married his mother, and became his father."

"Yeah, well, Duncan always was a mama's boy. And this is boring… let's stop watching the kids flirt and do something else." Logan was already leading Veronica out of the room and into the lobby.

"And what do you suggest we do?" Veronica asked, already knowing where this was going. She wasn't stupid. They were in a hotel, their kids fully supervised and Logan was tugging her towards the elevators.

"Do you really want me to answer such a ridiculous question?" Logan asked as they halted in front of an elevator, one eyebrow arched and his lips twisted into a smirk. If she really looked she could see that he was older. That there was a little gray sprinkled in his dark brown hair. He had a few lines on his face, around his eyes and mouth. Laugh lines. Evidence that they had a good life, and that he was happy. But all she saw was the boy he was junior year, telling her secrets were hot. When he clasped her hand it felt like the boy their freshman year of college. Once they were on the elevator, and the door was safely shut, Logan's lips pressed against hers the way they had their senior year at Hearst, like she was his world.

Logan slid the key into the door of 212, holding her against him as if he were still afraid she might disappear. And as they tumbled onto the bed she felt like she had almost nineteen years ago when they had decided that they were forever. When she'd asked him to marry her and he said yes. When they'd gotten married two months later. When she had stopped running and found what had always been there.

"Good thing history _always_ repeats itself, huh?" Logan asked as he kissed his way down her neck. "You didn't end up with the Kane, either." He pulled back to look into her face, to not only hear but see her reply.

"Yeah, but _I'm_ happy about that. Now stop talking, we're busy." Lunging upwards, her lips connected with his.

_Time falls away but these small hours  
__These little wonders still remain_

* * *

So that was the end... what do you think? (Hint Hint Feedback) 


End file.
